What if... (movies, how to, marriage, love)

[smarty]

There seems to be so much heart breaks....

What if marriage is only good for 1 year? Like renting, the contract needs to be renewed every year. Of course, both parties have agree. The default is to separate. Wouldn't this make life easier?

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by smarty

There seems to be so much heart breaks....

What if marriage is only good for 1 year? Like renting, the contract needs to be renewed every year. Of course, both parties have agree. The default is to separate. Wouldn't this make life easier?

I say, before people get married, we use the brains that God gave us, rather then thinking with our sex organs.

Love is a multiple of emotions and isn't just about when both parties feel good...it is about facing reality before a committment of sex and marriage and asking yourself, is this person really compatible with me and my needs, my life morals, likes and dislikes. If you choose someone without observing them, how they act and react to situations...then basically your in love with lust. Somewhere along the line, we have to stop living in movies and romance novels. There are no knights in shining armour or princesses, who are going to save you or make you feel better about yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself now, and know your needs, and your content and happy with life pretty much, then, no other human being on the face of this earth, is going to be able to do that for you and ITS NOT THEIR JOB.

Marriage is bad times, so bad, sometimes you want to strangle your spouse, but...working thru those hard times is what bonds you closer.

If you marry someone and expect them to live up to your ideas of what life and love is...then you are setting them up to fail...and in the end, destorying lives, in-laws, parent, children, etc.

Marriage is also give and take, it's understanding that your better half needs to still grow...you grow and evolve through life the rest of your life...you constantly keep learning...spiritually, mentally and physically. You've got to learn to discuss problems without taking constructive critisisum as a personal attack against your characters...and, you've got to let your mate go and still be successful, even if that means, taking a back seat once in a while...to stagnate your mate is the most henous of crimes...allow them, be good to them and don't be jealous or possessive.

If you take the time to choose a mate, and learn how to choose a life mate, there will be less divorce and you will also pass this behavior down to your children, so that they will choose a mate wisely.

Choosing a mate wisely means, to take a look at this person's background. Were they severely abused...did they grow up with alcoholic parents...were they beat up as a child...were they abandoned...make certain, your mate has really good social skills and are confident, b/c if they are n ot, they will drive a wedge between you and your parents. And yes, there are people who grow up in dysfunctional homes that are ok...but you have to make sure of that, otherwise your relationship will be contaminated from the beginning.

Hey, it's 2007 and I'm really shocked the human population hasn't figured this out and has begun to teach this at home and in schools...

Throw those freaking romance novels and soap operas away...

I am not directing this at you, but anyone who reads this....love is, rewards, struggles, ups, downs, learning to live with another, learning that someone else cannot live up to your idea of what their life should be....they have been raised with their own ideas. Communication before marriage is of the essence.

Has anyone seen that new movie out, with Robin Williams as the Priest/minister...sends a real good message and is so true.

Also, people have to become less involved with Material wealth....and stop wanting to live like movie stars...or Donald Trump....give up all the material things, and your going to find yourself being a lot happier. You can't hug a car, you can't talk to shoes....stop charging your lives to bills.

I hope I have been some help?

Creme

[Mrs. H]

Why would it be easier? Whoever told you marriage was easy was WRONG. Creme above here basically conveys my line of thoughts here....make sure the person you marry is the one for you....yes, there is a chance it might not work out but life and love are full of risks and chances.

[SmerkyGrl]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

I say, before people get married, we use the brains that God gave us, rather then thinking with our sex organs.

But...God also gave us those sex organs too..


I disagree with Marriage being only one year though. Imho, it encourages selfishness rather than working as a partnership.

[miu]

One year is not a very long time and it takes 9 months to make a baby. So what happens to all the babies born out of wedlock with this one year marriage contract proposal? And what about actually raising a child to adulthood?

Without having any children, having a renewable marriage contract every so often might be feasible, but not if there are kids involved.

And what about joint real estate?

[Hawkeye48]

I think a marriage contract would be a great idea! And it could be for any length of time, 1 year, 2, 5, 10 or whatever. As many terms and conditions that are possible could be spelled out in advance. One day you're married, the next day your contract expires and you aren't. No messy divorce necessary.

[songinthewind7]

Whether it's for 1 year or several years, there is no guarantee that a relationship will or will not last; it doesn't really matter how much you think you know the person because people change through the years.
The key is to work hard at the relationship. It takes work and lots of it.
Google the word 'handfasting' (a marriage that lasts for 13 months.)

[Andzia74]

Originally Posted by smarty

There seems to be so much heart breaks....

What if marriage is only good for 1 year? Like renting, the contract needs to be renewed every year. Of course, both parties have agree. The default is to separate. Wouldn't this make life easier?

EVERY 5 YEARS WOULD WORK ;-))

[smarty]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

Whether it's for 1 year or several years, there is no guarantee that a relationship will or will not last; it doesn't really matter how much you think you know the person because people change through the years.
The key is to work hard at the relationship. It takes work and lots of it.
Google the word 'handfasting' (a marriage that lasts for 13 months.)

Songinwind7....

You hit the nail in the head. It is not about how long the contract is. It could be 1 or 5 or 7 years. Think outside the box.

I heard so many complaint about the relationship not what used to be. If there is only a short term contract, he or she know that it will expire if nothing is done. May be it will get them to "work" a little harder. If not, what difference does it make?

People often ask... what about the kids? The answer is what about the kids in the current "forever" contract when it breaks? It is still the same. May be people should think twice before having kids.

[cremebrulee]

when two people get married, it IS a marriage contract...for better, or worse...in sickness and in health, till death do you part.

Marriage is also an emotional contract and investment...which should be taken very seriously.

So many today, say, if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce. Wull what about the children? What about the parents who have grown to love the daughter or son in law...how bout the friends, and relatives? It's not just about two people...

Just my thoughts....