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When I was younger and single, I could see that. Now married with kids, it just seems foreign to me. To me that seems barely more than a booty call.
I do get the aspect of being more relaxed, and I'm glad it works for you. I guess to me, there are only so many hours in a day, and in a week, and when you only see your SO for 5 of those hours, it almost seems pointless.
Who said 5 hours? We usually spend the entire weekend together. Friday night to Sunday night. That is plenty for me, and sometimes I have to cut that short to do things like yardwork, or whatever. You need to realize that not everyone wants to be married or living together. I WAS married, and have been on my own now for many years. I am very independent, have a very busy life, and a large local family that I also like to spend time with. 24/7 does not work for me. A relationship, yes. But it needs to be one that provides me with the time I need to take care of the many other things in my life.
I think one of the main reasons for the extremely high rate of divorce and breakups is that women cannot accept that men need their space. There's this silly idea that, if men need time apart from their SO's, then something must be wrong. It's not true.
Men need men time. We need to hang out alone and we need to hang out with other men. In our society that's just such an unpopular notion. Everything has to be mixed gender now. Back in the olden days, back when the divorce rate was almost non-existent, you had clubs just for men, places they could go and hang out, have a cocktail and a smoke. Even in the workplace you had many fewer women. When groups of people got together for a dinner they would eat and then the men would go to their area to hang out and the women had theirs.
And what did this result in? Longer lasting, healthier marriages. And the statistics are there to prove me right.
We need this time apart to decompress and not have a woman up in our business. And the men who have women up in they bidness everyday all day eventually grow to despise them. I've seen it happen many times.
I was married for 24 years. I would always tell my husband that he was free to hang out with his workers (he had no friends) if he wanted. I bought him hunting and fishing equipment because he loved both and told him he could go out whenever he wanted to do either. In 24 years of marriage I can count on a little over 1 hand how many times he did that. It was ME, the women that needed some time alone, some space. He worked all week while I cared for the 4 kids and house and yard and on the weekends when I hoped to have time, no, he didn't want that. It is NOT just men that need space. That marriage finally ended in divorce and I have been loving my freedom since 2008.
I think one of the main reasons for the extremely high rate of divorce and breakups is that women cannot accept that men need their space. There's this silly idea that, if men need time apart from their SO's, then something must be wrong. It's not true.
Men need men time. We need to hang out alone and we need to hang out with other men. In our society that's just such an unpopular notion. Everything has to be mixed gender now. Back in the olden days, back when the divorce rate was almost non-existent, you had clubs just for men, places they could go and hang out, have a cocktail and a smoke. Even in the workplace you had many fewer women. When groups of people got together for a dinner they would eat and then the men would go to their area to hang out and the women had theirs.
And what did this result in? Longer lasting, healthier marriages. And the statistics are there to prove me right.
We need this time apart to decompress and not have a woman up in our business. And the men who have women up in they bidness everyday all day eventually grow to despise them. I've seen it happen many times.
Logic fail. If divorce rates were due to men needing their space 80% of divorces wouldn't be filed by women, which I'm sure someone mentioned. By your logic it's women who need their space.
I think one of the main reasons for the extremely high rate of divorce and breakups is that women cannot accept that men need their space.
What complete and utter nonsense. I'm a woman and I need my space too. So do most women I know. If you think that all or even most women are this needy and clingy, you've been dating the wrong types of women.
Quote:
Men need men time. We need to hang out alone and we need to hang out with other men. In our society that's just such an unpopular notion.
I don't know what society you live in but this is not true for the societies I lived in, both in the US and the UK. My social groups have always supported the concept of male bonding time - and equally, female bonding time.
Quote:
Back in the olden days, back when the divorce rate was almost non-existent, you had clubs just for men, places they could go and hang out, have a cocktail and a smoke. Even in the workplace you had many fewer women. When groups of people got together for a dinner they would eat and then the men would go to their area to hang out and the women had theirs.
And what did this result in? Longer lasting, healthier marriages. And the statistics are there to prove me right.
Back in the "olden days", unhappy couples felt forced to stay together because there was such a huge social taboo and stigma on divorce. Go back far enough and women didn't even have many legal rights to divorce their husband. Yeah, that's really a society I want to go back to.
Well, I work the evening shift and don't get out until after 10pm-ish. He works at 6am and lives about 35 minutes away from me and I don't have a car. So, we basically can't see each other during the week and only have Saturday and part of Sunday to see one another. Sometimes you have to work with what you're given.
I get that - totally different situation than what I was referring to.
Who said 5 hours? We usually spend the entire weekend together. Friday night to Sunday night. That is plenty for me, and sometimes I have to cut that short to do things like yardwork, or whatever. You need to realize that not everyone wants to be married or living together. I WAS married, and have been on my own now for many years. I am very independent, have a very busy life, and a large local family that I also like to spend time with. 24/7 does not work for me. A relationship, yes. But it needs to be one that provides me with the time I need to take care of the many other things in my life.
I was married for 24 years. I would always tell my husband that he was free to hang out with his workers (he had no friends) if he wanted. I bought him hunting and fishing equipment because he loved both and told him he could go out whenever he wanted to do either. In 24 years of marriage I can count on a little over 1 hand how many times he did that. It was ME, the women that needed some time alone, some space. He worked all week while I cared for the 4 kids and house and yard and on the weekends when I hoped to have time, no, he didn't want that. It is NOT just men that need space. That marriage finally ended in divorce and I have been loving my freedom since 2008.
I get that need for space, I really do. I'm a SAHM but I get my alone time while the kids are in school (now, I didn't before).
However, think about it this way - why would he want to take the few hours he had not working, and spend them away from the family he's been away from all day already?
Sometimes, it seems like people can't win for losing. Take your space and time, and your partner says you never spend time with them.
Spend time with them, they get mad you don't give them space.
I think one of the main reasons for the extremely high rate of divorce and breakups is that women cannot accept that men need their space. There's this silly idea that, if men need time apart from their SO's, then something must be wrong. It's not true.
Men need men time. We need to hang out alone and we need to hang out with other men. In our society that's just such an unpopular notion. Everything has to be mixed gender now. Back in the olden days, back when the divorce rate was almost non-existent, you had clubs just for men, places they could go and hang out, have a cocktail and a smoke. Even in the workplace you had many fewer women. When groups of people got together for a dinner they would eat and then the men would go to their area to hang out and the women had theirs.
And what did this result in? Longer lasting, healthier marriages. And the statistics are there to prove me right.
We need this time apart to decompress and not have a woman up in our business. And the men who have women up in they bidness everyday all day eventually grow to despise them. I've seen it happen many times.
I have found this whole concept to be somewhat of a confusing manipulation tactic by many men I've known. I was a workaholic and was quite accommodating when dating someone else who had work issues and work time. I was always encouraging about my SO doing things with his friends and other people without me. It makes for a more well rounded individual. Whether it be golfing or a night out.
The thing that drove me batty about some others, was if I gave them space, which I had no issues with at all, because I had projects and things I needed to do alone, they would crawl the walls thinking I didn't care or play head games. If I took that behavior into consideration and was more attentive then it was smothering. One had to ask "WTF DO YOU WANT!?!"
Before you go and generalize and blame women for a space issue, take a good look at many men and their behavior when a woman needs her space, or what they act like when they are given their space.
Alpha males and men who want their space. Most of the male population wouldn't know what to do with either.
Last edited by Thursday007; 08-31-2013 at 05:00 AM..
I think one of the main reasons for the extremely high rate of divorce and breakups is that women cannot accept that men need their space. There's this silly idea that, if men need time apart from their SO's, then something must be wrong. It's not true.
Men need men time. We need to hang out alone and we need to hang out with other men. In our society that's just such an unpopular notion. Everything has to be mixed gender now. Back in the olden days, back when the divorce rate was almost non-existent, you had clubs just for men, places they could go and hang out, have a cocktail and a smoke. Even in the workplace you had many fewer women. When groups of people got together for a dinner they would eat and then the men would go to their area to hang out and the women had theirs.
And what did this result in? Longer lasting, healthier marriages. And the statistics are there to prove me right.
We need this time apart to decompress and not have a woman up in our business. And the men who have women up in they bidness everyday all day eventually grow to despise them. I've seen it happen many times.
Where, exactly, are these statistics that prove this?
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We usually spend the entire weekend together. Friday night to Sunday night. That is plenty for me, and sometimes I have to cut that short to do things like yardwork, or whatever. You need to realize that not everyone wants to be married or living together. I WAS married, and have been on my own now for many years. I am very independent, have a very busy life, and a large local family that I also like to spend time with. 24/7 does not work for me. A relationship, yes. But it needs to be one that provides me with the time I need to take care of the many other things in my life.
