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This is an issue in my parents marriage, but the opposite. My dad wants to be in my mom's face 24/7 and never gives her the space she wants. She likes her alone time, or time with her friends. He demands to keep her on a short leash, heck he can't even stand to let her go shopping with me. It's annoying as hell. He calls her up griping, "When are you coming home? Are you coming home yet?"
My sister and her husband want to be in each others face 24/7 and do not like or believe in alone time, so I guess that works for them.
I am a woman and I have to have alone time. So telling me to give my man alone time and lecturing me about the need for it is absurd. I can't stand being around ANYONE all the time. Luckily, my husband understands this and does not act like my father. I can't stand that crap. My husband doesn't desire a lot of alone time, but his job and our schedule allows for us to not be around each other constantly so it gives us a healthy balance. We've never felt the need to get away from each other or give each other space because of that. My husband would rather hang out at home with me, or do stuff with me (we bike, hike, go to sporting events) then go out with guy friends all the time. But, I have no problem when he has his game time in the other room or goes to the movies with his father. I like it, because it gives me my time. I have to have my alone time or I go insane.
But, I have no problem when he has his game time in the other room or goes to the movies with his father. I like it, because it gives me my time. I have to have my alone time or I go insane.
See, there ya have it. It's so simple...and it works.
This is an issue in my parents marriage, but the opposite. My dad wants to be in my mom's face 24/7 and never gives her the space she wants. She likes her alone time, or time with her friends. He demands to keep her on a short leash, heck he can't even stand to let her go shopping with me. It's annoying as hell. He calls her up griping, "When are you coming home? Are you coming home yet?"
My sister and her husband want to be in each others face 24/7 and do not like or believe in alone time, so I guess that works for them.
I am a woman and I have to have alone time. So telling me to give my man alone time and lecturing me about the need for it is absurd. I can't stand being around ANYONE all the time. Luckily, my husband understands this and does not act like my father. I can't stand that crap. My husband doesn't desire a lot of alone time, but his job and our schedule allows for us to not be around each other constantly so it gives us a healthy balance. We've never felt the need to get away from each other or give each other space because of that. My husband would rather hang out at home with me, or do stuff with me (we bike, hike, go to sporting events) then go out with guy friends all the time. But, I have no problem when he has his game time in the other room or goes to the movies with his father. I like it, because it gives me my time. I have to have my alone time or I go insane.
Sounds like your relationship works for you. My husband and I are in the middle ground here.
One benefit of being a SAHM with kids in school is automatic alone time. Here on C-D for the most part.
Hubby's alone time is more often tinkering around the house as opposed to going out with buddies. He does go out with friends occasionally, but not that often. Same for me but most of my long-time friends are thousands of miles away in CA.
I didn't. Look at the title. You see Ladies and Men both represented. And if you read my OP, you'll see that I commented on women having their own space too.
I didn't. Look at the title. You see Ladies and Men both represented. And if you read my OP, you'll see that I commented on women having their own space too.
Orphaned.
There is nothing in your OP about women needing space...or both partners needing equal alone time.
The time management thing is the hard part. If you're married with kids, that changes things a lot. My wife and I have a good, but not perfect balance. We each like our time alone, yet, since it seems that there are only about 4 to 6 hours per week when we're not working or dealing with the kids, there isn't much time left, usually this is late evening when the kids or asleep, or the rare night we have a sitter. While I want my alone time, I also want to be alone WITH my wife as well where we're not doing bills, or discussing the kids, or an upcoming vacation, or other mundane stuff.
If one of us gets alone time, the other is with the kids. Part of parenting, and my time alone with my kids is something I love and cherish, but it doesn't count as real "alone" time either.
If anything, my wife needs alone time more than I do. I do my best to give it to her, even though sometimes I'd rather be with her since I haven't seen her all week in an "alone" sense.
The time management thing is the hard part. If you're married with kids, that changes things a lot. My wife and I have a good, but not perfect balance. We each like our time alone, yet, since it seems that there are only about 4 to 6 hours per week when we're not working or dealing with the kids, there isn't much time left, usually this is late evening when the kids or asleep, or the rare night we have a sitter. While I want my alone time, I also want to be alone WITH my wife as well where we're not doing bills, or discussing the kids, or an upcoming vacation, or other mundane stuff.
If one of us gets alone time, the other is with the kids. Part of parenting, and my time alone with my kids is something I love and cherish, but it doesn't count as real "alone" time either.
If anything, my wife needs alone time more than I do. I do my best to give it to her, even though sometimes I'd rather be with her since I haven't seen her all week in an "alone" sense.
There is nothing in your OP about women needing space...or both partners needing equal alone time.
OP, you should know what's in your own OP, but you don't seem to.
Alone time for women is an especially big problem after the hubbie retires. A lot of men have trouble coping with retirement, and become extremely clingy to and dependent on their wives. This can be a very difficult stage in a marriage, and does sometimes lead to divorce. Guys need to learn to not wrap their entire identity around their jobs, and to develop hobbies and some independence.
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