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I disagree completely! In buying a car, there's a steady progression of things that one could do to improve one's standing as a consumer... earn more money, save and invest, research the various car options, become a savvy user of Craigslist, and so forth. A person presently poor or ignorant of cars can in principle improve his financial standing and his familiarity with cars, becoming a smarter buyer - a buyer negotiating from a position of strength.
With dating there is no clear path to success. Having a good job and rewarding career, working out, improving one's skin/posture/teeth/clothing etc., are all wonderful things, all things worthwhile and eminently laudable in their own right, but they don't guarantee getting a date - and certainly not a good date.
Imagine if the car salesman quoted $150K to some shoppers and $19.95 to others, for the exact same car! Imagine if one day, after preparing yourself, saving your money and showing up with a cashier's check with the full MSRP amount, you learn that the showroom is empty! Or that the model that you've been trying to purchase is discontinued. Then what?
What makes dating so unnervingly harrowing is that one could theoretically do everything right, and still end up without the product that one was seeking, or for that matter, without any product.
Let me reiterate that last point. A person without much money and without the energy to search for the optimal car could still buy a jalopy at the local used-car lot. The markup will be high and the quality low, but at least it's a car. That does not work with dating!
I disagree completely! In buying a car, there's a steady progression of things that one could do to improve one's standing as a consumer... earn more money, save and invest, research the various car options, become a savvy user of Craigslist, and so forth. A person presently poor or ignorant of cars can in principle improve his financial standing and his familiarity with cars, becoming a smarter buyer - a buyer negotiating from a position of strength.
With dating there is no clear path to success. Having a good job and rewarding career, working out, improving one's skin/posture/teeth/clothing etc., are all wonderful things, all things worthwhile and eminently laudable in their own right, but they don't guarantee getting a date - and certainly not a good date.
Imagine if the car salesman quoted $150K to some shoppers and $19.95 to others, for the exact same car! Imagine if one day, after preparing yourself, saving your money and showing up with a cashier's check with the full MSRP amount, you learn that the showroom is empty! Or that the model that you've been trying to purchase is discontinued. Then what?
What makes dating so unnervingly harrowing is that one could theoretically do everything right, and still end up without the product that one was seeking, or for that matter, without any product.
Let me reiterate that last point. A person without much money and without the energy to search for the optimal car could still buy a jalopy at the local used-car lot. The markup will be high and the quality low, but at least it's a car. That does not work with dating!
Perhaps there is a clearer path to success than people think, though.
I know that everyone wants to be loved for "who they are" but, are you going to be extended credit beyond your paycheck just because you are what you deem to be a nice, friendly sort of person?
There is zero wrong with wanting to be "who you are", but if "who you are" isn't the sort of person that pulls what you deem to be the highest quality dates, perhaps "who you are" is someone that is highly unrealistic about his/her potential.
I know that the car vs date thing isn't apples to oranges, but I do think there's some benefit in approaching the situation as if it's similar.
You mentioned the salesman quoting different prices for the same car to different buyers... this happens ALL the time. Maybe it's not as dramatic as your example, but on most car lots, you have to be able to finesse your way into a good deal.
If the model you want to purchase is discontinued, you need to find another car that you love. There are SO MANY models to choose from! So many manufacturers!
When buying a car, one could end up with a lemon. One could end up having to settle for the cherry red when one really wanted the midnight black metallic, because maybe midnight black metallilc costs a little more than one can afford, or maybe you just heard that it is going to take an extra 6 months to manufacture and there's a sweet-looking cherry red there on the lot. Only problem is? You just aren't that keen on cherry red. Eh. Maybe it'll grow on you, because otherwise, that car is BEAUTIFUL.
And the jalopy analogy? It works with dating. You can get a date. Any date. You just don't know how long it'll last before it breaks down.
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And the jalopy analogy? It works with dating. You can get a date. Any date. You just don't know how long it'll last before it breaks down.
This is precisely where I disagree. Dating is all about mutual appeal on an emotional level. Regardless of my money, my confidence, my prestigious job, my handsomeness (let us stipulate these things for the sake of argument here!), if my potential date doesn't feel an emotional connection with me, my various advances will come to naught. I might look like Adonis, have the wisdom of Solomon and the wealth of Croesus, but if I can't form that emotional connection, failure is inevitable.
With cars, all that it takes is money. That is the crucial difference.
With a car, you know the specifications, and can accurately forecast costs of ownership. There is a warranty and lemon laws for those which can't be fixed - you may even get a replacement. And best of all, your dream car has been driven and evaluated by professional drivers and compared against the competition, so you don't have to figure out for yourself which is best. With a date, you have to do all that yourself, and let's face it, few are professionals when it comes to evaluating dates!
In the end, you buy the date (uh, choose the date!) you think will provide the best performance for your needs, but it usually (they usually) underperform once parked in your bed (err, driveway?). My metaphors are running into each other. Airbags, anyone? Besides, I KNOW how to turn a car on and get it to respond - women are a lot more complicated.
So, insist on a test drive, at least, and lease, don't buy.
This is precisely where I disagree. Dating is all about mutual appeal on an emotional level. Regardless of my money, my confidence, my prestigious job, my handsomeness (let us stipulate these things for the sake of argument here!), if my potential date doesn't feel an emotional connection with me, my various advances will come to naught. I might look like Adonis, have the wisdom of Solomon and the wealth of Croesus, but if I can't form that emotional connection, failure is inevitable.
With cars, all that it takes is money. That is the crucial difference.
Well, of course relationships with other humans are more complicated than financial transactions. I know that.
But, the thing here is that much like the way you cannot reasonably expect to afford a Ferrari on a Hundai budget, you cannot expect to date a supermodel when you're delivering pizzas and just an average guy with little money and few career prospects.
But... if you did get educated, change careers, and clean yourself up? You might just get that girl that models sometimes down at the local mall for one of the department stores. Yanno?
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