Would you "go for" someone who had been divorced four times? (boyfriend, marrying)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think it's crazy how these old threads get resurrected like this.
I would draw the line at casually dating someone who had been divorced more than maybe once or twice. I was wife #3 to my ex, and if I hadn't been a dumbarse 18 year old kid, I would have seen the red flags and run like hell.
I mean, even the woman he was married to when we met, warned me about him. (You were right, M! I should have listened to you! lol!)
A close friend of my wife is in her late 40s and has fallen in love with a recently divorced man. We met them for lunch and they seem very much in love by how they communicate with each other. After 9 months there is talk about marriage. I would say go for it because they seem compatible and seem like a couple but then I found out he had been married and divorced four times. He must be able to charm the women but can't stay with them.
What do you think of men or women who have been married and divorced multiple times? How many divorces would raise a red flag? 2, 3, 4, 5, or more?
I am sure each of his ex wives thought their relationship would be different! But the ending was the same. But maybe my wife's friend, #5 will be the exception.
I am my husband's 4th wife.
Was there a red flag at the beginning? Sure. You hear a guy say "You should know, I've been married and divorced 3 times" it's going to raise a flag.
But you know...I bought some baggage to that date as well. I was a divorcee, with a high school child, recently diagnosed with Asperger's.
And besides, he didn't trash talk his exe's, and he accepted joint responsibility for his roles in the other divorces. I felt like he had learned from the experiences.
Anyway, we've been married 15 years now, and I fully expect we'll be married to each other until one of us dies.
[quote=I'm Retired Now;31183819]A close friend of my wife is in her late 40s and has fallen in love with a recently divorced man. We met them for lunch and they seem very much in love by how they communicate with each other. After 9 months there is talk about marriage. I would say go for it because they seem compatible and seem like a couple but then I found out he had been married and divorced four times. He must be able to charm the women but can't stay with them.
What do you think of men or women who have been married and divorced multiple times? How many divorces would raise a red flag? 2, 3, 4, 5, or more?
Once I would say okay things happen.
More then once I would not likely to want to marry them or ensure there was are VERY well written pre-nuptial in my favour.
Once I would say okay things happen.
More then once I would not likely to want to marry them or ensure there was are VERY well written pre-nuptial in my favour.
Well, I'll chime in. Having been Married, and Divorced six times. Yes, I said 6. It doesn't always have to go back to the common denominator, me. I planned on staying married forever, til death do us part. Never asked someone to marry me planning to divorce them. Actually had four of my exes say they would happily try us again. I'm not hard to please, just don't like being taken advantage of.
1: My first wife, we married young, at her insistence, family problems, and I was in college, hadn't dated much, thought that was the thing to do. After six years, I grew up, worked hard to get ahead, she didn't. We grew apart, I asked for divorce.
2: Rebound wife, older woman, experienced, went after lust and wild life. Shouldn't have married, but we did. Divorced amicably.
3: She was joining military, and moved down to my town, wanted to change her home base, we went in to the recruiter and he told us she would make more money and I would have benefit of military spouse. Since I worked for banking industry, I thought it was a good thing to do. We had 2 children, and divorce 6 years later. Still friends, just she and I weren't compatible.
4: Good woman, I loved her, we had a lot going on, problem is, she had two children that had been abused, and I had a son that had been treated badly by his mother. Our children drove us apart. We had to make the decision to seperate for our sanity. She and I are still very close friends.
5: She was a good person, I liked her, we had a good life, but she brought the baggage of her ex husband that cheated on her repeatedly into our life. That and her four kids that were grown and still living with us in their twenties, were things she wasn't going to change. So we got divorced. We talk and go out once in awhile.
6: She was a lying golddigger. Carried a good front until after we got married, once we got married, OMG. she started going thru money like water thru a drain. I was working harder and she was spending more. Her own mother told me to divorce her. I did.
Now, I believe in marriage. Think about it like this. Would you rather date a guy that has never been married, only dated? That seems to raise commitment issues, why date someone that there is no future with?
How about the one that has been married once or twice, and only dates a lot of women? Same thing, not wiling to commit, just dates, has no future expectation of settling down.
At least with me, I'm willing to give it a try, put forth 100% into a marriage. I want that, I want my forever partner. I won't marry again unless I really feel true to myself, and have made sure that some of the redflags I've encountered before arent there.
The one thing I've learned by being more experienced and older is, as we grow older and look at another mate, We don't go into the relationship looking for what we want, we meet new people and know what we don't want, or won't tolerate. So jump on the bandwagon, shame me, taunt me if you care. Ain't nuthin but my life, and I've lived it, so beware, until you know me, and have walked a mile in my shoes, I will respond, and I will tell you how the cow ate the cabbage.
I won't with my husband's ex who got divorced EXACTLY the same way. Slapped them both with domestic violence. She thought she could do to her 2nd husband what she did to mine which was get everything. LOL. She lost. For one, her 2nd husband got their house! WOOOT. Karma is a biatch.
Also what's earth shattering to me is now she is the executive director of domestic violence organization. LOL. Wow.
Yeah one time divorce is mistake. 2nd onwards is a pattern. And above is exhibit A. I won't touch them with a 1000000000000 foot pole.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.....
