Not interested in dating, relationships, or even sex. Is this normal? (marrying, guys)
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If women don't find me attractive, nothing I can do about that. Maybe in the next few years my mind will change.
Just some food for thought...there was a similar kind of thread recently about a man who was in his 40's who had never had a relationship, for various reasons. Now, he's having difficulty finding a woman who doesn't brush him off, because most people are hesitant about a 40 year old who's never had what many people consider basic life experiences. Understandably, its a bit of a red flag. You're obviously a ways off from 40, but it's something to think about if you do consider dating later on.
Just some food for thought...there was a similar kind of thread recently about a man who was in his 40's who had never had a relationship, for various reasons. Now, he's having difficulty finding a woman who doesn't brush him off, because most people are hesitant about a 40 year old who's never had what many people consider basic life experiences. Understandably, its a bit of a red flag. You're obviously a ways off from 40, but it's something to think about if you do consider dating later on.
I don't see how that is a red flag, but to each their own.
My intention wasn't to judge you, I don't care what you do.
My point is that you don't actually know if you want to be in a relationship, or hook up with girls, because you've never even done it. If we were talking about heroin or something really dangerous then fine, you have a legitimate reason to avoid it without ever having done it.
But sitting on the sidelines of mating and intimate relationships entirely without ever even having partaken is a huge indication that something deeper is going on. If you've had a bunch of girlfriends and hooked up a bunch (or even a few times) and had both great relationships and terrible ones and THEN realized you don't want or need either, then cool. Until then you can't be sure your not just avoiding perceived pain and failure by convincing yourself your making an unemotional decision about a naturally emotional subject.
My intention wasn't to judge you, I don't care what you do.
My point is that you don't actually know if you want to be in a relationship, or hook up with girls, because you've never even done it. If we were talking about heroin or something really dangerous then fine, you have a legitimate reason to avoid it without ever having done it.
But sitting on the sidelines of mating and intimate relationships entirely without ever even having partaken is a huge indication that something deeper is going on. If you've had a bunch of girlfriends and hooked up a bunch (or even a few times) and had both great relationships and terrible ones and THEN realized you don't want or need either, then cool. Until then you can't be sure your not just avoiding perceived pain and failure by convincing yourself your making an unemotional decision about a naturally emotional subject.
It's hilarious how so many people talking about hooking up as if it's this universally easy thing to do for every guy on the planet. That's why there is such a disconnect. Some guys never even get to hook-up. Reasons are unimportant because they will all be looked at as excuses. So why even try?
I don't see how that is a red flag, but to each their own.
The simple gist of that thread was "What is wrong with this guy that he missed out on something so crucial to the human experience, for so long?" . At my age, 29, I would not consider dating a virgin or someone with extreme dating inexperience. It invites in all kind of unwanted problems, like having to teach him what to do, or him not navigating through relationship problems properly, due to lack of experience. I would bet that most women my age similarly don't want to deal with inexperienced men.
My intention wasn't to judge you, I don't care what you do.
My point is that you don't actually know if you want to be in a relationship, or hook up with girls, because you've never even done it. If we were talking about heroin or something really dangerous then fine, you have a legitimate reason to avoid it without ever having done it.
But sitting on the sidelines of mating and intimate relationships entirely without ever even having partaken is a huge indication that something deeper is going on. If you've had a bunch of girlfriends and hooked up a bunch (or even a few times) and had both great relationships and terrible ones and THEN realized you don't want or need either, then cool. Until then you can't be sure your not just avoiding perceived pain and failure by convincing yourself your making an unemotional decision about a naturally emotional subject.
Good advice. But understand that dating & hooking up isn't for everyone.
The simple gist of that thread was "What is wrong with this guy that he missed out on something so crucial to the human experience, for so long?" . At my age, 29, I would not consider dating a virgin or someone with extreme dating inexperience. It invites in all kind of unwanted problems, like having to teach him what to do, or him not navigating through relationship problems properly, due to lack of experience. I would bet that most women my age similarly don't want to deal with inexperienced men.
It's hilarious how so many people talking about hooking up as if it's this universally easy thing to do for every guy on the planet. That's why there is such a disconnect. Some guys never even get to hook-up. Reasons are unimportant because they will all be looked at as excuses. So why even try?
People can't seem to fathom that other people have it harder in this area than others.
People can't seem to fathom that other people have it harder in this area than others.
And now you're implying that it's not a choice they're making because they don't want to date, but rather that they don't want to date because they haven't been able to thus far. That is not the same thing as not believing in dating or being happy with your life and not seeing the need to date.
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