why is it so hard for a good looking mature 26 year old straight guy to have sex or find a girlfriend in the Bay A

[Ion_Exchange]

Originally Posted by sfcatholic87

basically a Bay Area native because I have lived here since I was 5 and I am now 26. I love the Bay Area and its home, but why is dating so hard here? First off let me say I am working on myself and I understand part of it is on me and maybe I don’t take enough chances but I feel very isolated from the dating scene here. I am Roman Catholic and go to Church every Sunday and got baptized as Catholic last year. Mind you I am a more progressive minded Catholic. I go to Church; I am also involved with the liturgy Committee, sadly while I love my Church because it is more progressive there are not a lot of younger people and the younger people there tend to be younger people with children. I also help set up for Communion and serve as a Eucharistic Minister. I also help a disabled woman with her apartment. I also am finishing up my degree and is an artist going to school. And currently am looking for work through a job employment center, I however live with my parents which are not something I’m proud of and looking for work so I can get a move on into independent housing. I am looking for a woman who is a decent person, who likes a monogamous relationship, who isn’t into polyandrous and alternative types of dating, and while being a Christian or Catholic is not required it wouldn’t hurt for the Holy Spirit to bring us both together as Man and Woman. I like people who are mature; my last girlfriend was 40, because I tend to be an old soul at heart. While I realize I may need to do some self-examination it just seems like I’ve had really bad luck, here’s a brief preview of my dating/ sex history since 2009. I finally had sex with a 60 year old woman I met on craigslist, and it was enjoyable however we never talked again. I then went on one disastrous date in 2011 with another woman I met on craigslist; the date went on for 20 minutes. I was single for all of 2011 and feeling depressed about it. In 2012 I finally met someone through group therapy and she was 40 and I was 25. I liked her well enough and we had sex and she really liked me only I didn’t feel exactly the same way about her so we broke up. Since then my friend and I went to Polk set in so and vie tried dancing with women at bars, and I seem to get no response when I either ask for their phone number or they give me some weird answer. I used to have confidence issues around women particularly younger women, as I am more attracted to older women and a lot of what I have discovered with younger women into eh Bay Area is they are into themselves, their image they project and superficial crap. So a month ago I met this 38 year old woman at a bar in El Cerrito with her friend and they started talking to me and I was really hitting it off with this woman. They had to leave early and we exchanged phone numbers, I texted her just checking in and I asked her if she wanted to have lunch the next day and we did without her friend of course. Well we had lunch and chemistry seemed good, I liked her values as she was catholic and a special end teacher, doing god’s work, she said she was going back east and would text me when she got back to the Bay Area. Well I let a few days go by and texted her 3 or four times a few days apart of course and heard nothing back.


On my end:
Now I’m wondering if these are problems with me and stuff I could self-examine

Am I not giving off the right vibe? Am I too nice? Do women think I’m gay? Because I’m in good shape and nice and a vegetarian?

Should I not mention I’m catholic if it’s in a non-religious setting?
Maybe a woman would be turned off and assume because I’m Catholic that I agree 100 percent with the pope which by no means do I and also atheists rule out here.

Am I intimidatingly Handsome?
I don’t mean to pat myself on the back but I sort of have a friendly Middle American, tall blonde and nice hair and in fairly good shape.

Because I am considered conventionally handsome do they assume I am insecure, which I admit I am?

Am I not cool enough for the art scene/hipster scene, am I a bit of fashioned?
Maybe because my art tends to not be uber political or preaching to the choir maybe they consider me square.

While I’m more confident then I was and I can speak to women more than I could in the past, can they tell I’m nervous?



Things that irritate me
I get really jealous when I see a happy couple on a Bart train, or when a guy steals my thunder and starts talking to a girl I liked

I hate it when couples make out in front of you to make me feel jealous

I get particularly mad because I like cougars, and when I see a guy I think is ugly with a hot woman, I always think I have no shot with her.

In a nutshell the bay area dating scene frustrates me and I don’t understand why a good looking guy like myself who is tall and in shape and goes to the gym and runs three times a week with good catholic values can’t find a nice woman, and the women that are attracted to me aren’t my type.

Youre a decent looking 26 year old who likes older women. I think this is an easy one. Go to cougar bars and find cougars. Once you get past this Mrs. Robinson phase, you should look for a girl your age or younger at one of the many outlets you have established for yourself (church, volunteer work, school, etc.) there are girls everywhere looking for decent dudes.

[Mikala43]

Closed due to duplication with two other threads.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by EntropyGuardian

Or if you get desperate, look for support groups for widowed women. They'll be old, maybe religious, single, and emotionally compromised. Sounds perfect.

I can only hope you are joking. That is truly a despicable thing to do.