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In any case, here's my advice: give it another year. See how things turn out. Marriage is a huge commitment. If you still wanna marry her after a year then she might be marriage material.
She won't wait that long. Women expect a proposal at about this time, 1.5 years, and if it does not come they take it as a sign that they should move on.
Just a story from my own family. My aunt and uncle are actually pretty close to the same age but she's always been slender and rather naive as the OP describes his gf. Now they are in their 60's and my uncle appears to have robbed the cradle b/c my aunt still looks 16 from a distance as she's always kept herself in shape. It sounds like the OP's gf has the ingrained habit of exercising and isn't going to change soon, children or not.
I think that the thing that really bugs the OP is that there are no guarantees in life and that he deserves for everything to be perfect. I'm not saying that in a hateful way but let's face it--we Americans think we deserve it all, but you already have it all--just not the way you ordered it. Sorry but she sounds perfect and I hope you come to see that. Look up gratitude exercises and see if that doesn't help b/c if you blow this you're going to be living with regret for a very long time.
She won't wait that long. Women expect a proposal at about this time, 1.5 years, and if it does not come they take it as a sign that they should move on.
Good. Any woman with that expectation should move on. With the divorce rates so high and how people are taking longer to get established career wise and financially it makes sense TO wait. I have been with my girlfriend over a year. She very well knows that I have no desire to get married for a few years and a kid a few years later. She's fine with that. I have goals I'd like to achieve first and I'm not getting married twice, period. Maybe people should wait longer and the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
Good. Any woman with that expectation should move on. With the divorce rates so high and how people are taking longer to get established career wise and financially it makes sense TO wait. I have been with my girlfriend over a year. She very well knows that I have no desire to get married for a few years and a kid a few years later. She's fine with that. I have goals I'd like to achieve first and I'm not getting married twice, period. Maybe people should wait longer and the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
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meh, the divorce rate is trivial. people are still "breaking up" regardless of the paper trail.
1. Our sex life is incredible. She pleases me in every way imaginable, and I like to reciprocate. She always had a very high libido, and I find it difficult at times to keep up with her.
2.She also has a very positive body image since she exercises regularly and eats very healthily. She never smoked, did drugs, or drank alcohol (I used to do all of those things frequently) so perhaps that's why she looks a lot younger than she is.
3. She also views sex as something enjoyable. She views it as something to please her man, and to please her. Our sex life really is incredible, and I would say better than 95% of other couples out there.
4. She dresses very well and promiscuously. She likes to show off her body, and I'm fine with that. She also wears some light make up when we're going out.
5. Again, she has a very regimented workout routine, and eats very healthily. Her mother and siblings are very fit, so I'm sure both genetics and the way she was raised allows her to stay very fit.
I agree that it was a bit strange for her to refrain from dating, but her father is a bit of a tyrant and made things very difficult for her. She is now far more independent than before. She has a PhD and has a very good career. She also likes to express herself a lot more, and likes to voice her opinion. She only remained immature in terms of her character and interests, but again, I find that endearing. Also, the reason why she decided to date me was that she thought I was worth the trouble she'd get in for her father. She has been approached by many guys before meeting me, and even currently...but she just wasn't interested in them, and didn't think her father would approve of them. I am in very good terms with her parents now, and her father treats me as his son.
Marriage is a huge decision, and I think I'm creating problems that don't exist. It's just that I see all of my friends and most are dating girls younger than them, or their age, and I can't help but think that I'm doing something against the grain. I'm also afraid that our best years are coming to an end...While she is still very young, what would happen in a few more years when we settle down and get kids? I'm scared of her losing her youthfulness and her bubbly character, which is what made me fall in love with her in the first place...
OMG, all this fuss and bother is just because you're not doing what your friends are doing? Well, you're the immature one, then. You can't stand up for yourself and you cave to peer pressure (not even real, but merely perceived). That's pathetic. If that's how you roll in life, you're going to be miserable.
And get this: anyone can lose their youthfulness and bubbly character, whether they're older than you, or younger, so WTF??!! The more you post, the less sense you make. However, I'd bank on the fact that her true upbeat nature will stand the test of time. YOU, however, I'm not so sure about. But that said, I agree with Stepka: it sounds like you're set up to age faster than she will, because of your past smoking and alcohol use. There are couples that are close in age, there are close siblings, too, where by 50+, the male component looks like the father of the wife or sister, and people ask the woman about her "dad". I wouldn't be surprised if this is how you'll end up with your gf. Maybe you should look for a younger woman who smokes and drinks, so you'll both age at the same rate. (SARCASM!) This one could be snagging guys half your age by the time you get close to 50.
LAST BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST: Have you noticed that you listed her sex drive/sexuality TWICE in your post? You also listed twice that she works out and takes care of herself. You'd be a fool to pass up this opportunity. Most guys would kill for a woman like that. It really doesn't speak well of you that you're even considering skipping out on this LTR/marriage. But if you do walk, be assured that some other insanely lucky guy will scoop her up and will thank his lucky stars that you threw her away.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-04-2013 at 05:50 PM..
She won't wait that long. Women expect a proposal at about this time, 1.5 years, and if it does not come they take it as a sign that they should move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan
Good. Any woman with that expectation should move on. With the divorce rates so high and how people are taking longer to get established career wise and financially it makes sense TO wait. I have been with my girlfriend over a year. She very well knows that I have no desire to get married for a few years and a kid a few years later. She's fine with that. I have goals I'd like to achieve first and I'm not getting married twice, period. Maybe people should wait longer and the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
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I agree with houstan-dan on this. If a woman needs to get married with 1.5 years then she's rushing marriage. It's always a bad thing to date a woman who is husband hunting. It's even worse to marry one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
meh, the divorce rate is trivial. people are still "breaking up" regardless of the paper trail.
It's not just paper trail. It's also alimony, palimony, breaking up of families, and divorce is a much more emotionally trying thing than breaking up with your girlfriend.
I agree with houstan-dan on this. If a woman needs to get married with 1.5 years then she's rushing marriage. It's always a bad thing to date a woman who is husband hunting. It's even worse to marry one.
I believe the OP said they've been together for several years already? Unless I'm getting mixed up with another thread.
IIt's not just paper trail. It's also alimony, palimony, breaking up of families, and divorce is a much more emotionally trying thing than breaking up with your girlfriend.
im sorry but none of that matters when you have been with someone for years. you are common law and it doesn't exempt you from having a family or children together.
it also doesn't exempt you from the law "taking things away" from you on the event of a break up. those things can all be disputed in court under common law principals
the emotion part is purely tied into you involvement with another person...something a paper doesn't make happen once it is signed
Pics of your girlfriend in bikini or i dont believe
Oh, please! She's only 32! Did you see the ads with actress Valerie Bertinelli after she lost weight and was filmed in a bikini in her 40's? That's what 30- and 40-something women look like these days. I've even seen 50-year old women who look like that. Times have changed. Women just don't age the way they used to. 50 years ago, women never set foot in a gym, and they drank and smoked. It makes a HUGE difference!
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