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That's what coconut was saying: he doesn't need to worry about having a flexible spouse. A married person does.
Another note, military wives are well-known to be unhappy. Just go to the military forum and read the threads about infidelity.
Military families aren't the only ones who have to move periodically. People in certain lines of business and gov't work do, to. Those are happy marriages, the ones I've observed, anyway.
Anyone wanting to get married has to think about choosing well. The point is, what coconut wants, he can have, whether he's single or married.
So I think it may help to know that any longing he may have for not being married or in an LTR is primarily social programming and societal expectations, just gotta do a little reprogramming. And that ppl have discovered fulfilling lives without a committed relationship or kids.
He also asked:
Quote:
Under what circumstances you’d decided not to get married and have family? Any regrets so far or is it alright to be alone at your age? What does it feel like to be single at an older age? How do you spend your life?
So I think it may help to know that any longing he may have for not being married or in an LTR is primarily social programming and societal expectations, just gotta do a little reprogramming. And that ppl have discovered fulfilling lives without a committed relationship or kids.
I suppose - but I guess I would just feel that someone who feels they have no chance at having a relationship because of illness probably isn't going to be out banging women left and right and traveling off to far away places. I guess I assumed he was more looking for how it feels to not have a partner to share your life with and how you deal with that. Just my 2 cents - but I don't see how telling him how marriage sucks, women have nothing to offer, etc. really helps someone who is trying to come to terms with health issues beyond his control. But I could be wrong - maybe he wanted to hear that he could bang as many women as he wants to and that everyone that gets married is miserable and gets divorced anyway.
Yeah - I don't think this is what the OP was looking for either...
Yeah I think he was looking for all these men who are happy being single and ironically I don't meet a lot who are and the ones who claim they are really aren't. Meanwhile I know a lot of women who are so happy they aren't married. I don't know many men having sex with lots of women either, that's only a myth I see online.
So I think it may help to know that any longing he may have for not being married or in an LTR is primarily social programming and societal expectations, just gotta do a little reprogramming. And that ppl have discovered fulfilling lives without a committed relationship or kids.
Yeah, going back to the OP's question (sorry, I was diverted a bit by another comment--as is usual for me) to answer his question there are people who have had fulfilling lives without committed relationships or kids--it's just a matter of how you look at it. I know of two long-term bachelors that probably never will get married. To be fair, they seem just fine and happy with life. They do have a good, strong network of friends and family though--so just based on that, I would say you can live alone and be alone and be happy... but it's good not to be a loner.
I suppose - but I guess I would just feel that someone who feels they have no chance at having a relationship because of illness probably isn't going to be out banging women left and right and traveling off to far away places. I guess I assumed he was more looking for how it feels to not have a partner to share your life with and how you deal with that. Just my 2 cents - but I don't see how telling him how marriage sucks, women have nothing to offer, etc. really helps someone who is trying to come to terms with health issues beyond his control. But I could be wrong - maybe he wanted to hear that he could bang as many women as he wants to and that everyone that gets married is miserable and gets divorced anyway.
ok, point taken. but i guess we are all only speculating about his capacity, potential, and options.
Yeah I think he was looking for all these men who are happy being single and ironically I don't meet a lot who are and the ones who claim they are really aren't. Meanwhile I know a lot of women who are so happy they aren't married. I don't know many men having sex with lots of women either, that's only a myth I see online.
Still not helping...
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin
ok, point taken. but i guess we are all only speculating about his capacity, potential, and options.
True - but I can be a big softy - and when I see someone say they have an illness that is going to prevent them from being capable of having a relationship - it makes me want to help. But I'm not single nor am I a man.
I’m still single due to a lengthy illness. I will be a confirmed bachelor myself soon if my illness still persists and leaves me incapable of dealing with a relationship the way a healthy person could. I’m hoping you’d answer the following query of mine.
Under what circumstances you’d decided not to get married and have family? Any regrets so far or is it alright to be alone at your age? What does it feel like to be single at an older age? How do you spend your life?
Cheers
I can't speak from experience, but my uncle is 83, never married, no kids. He had a good job and travelled the world. He didn't miss out on those types of life experiences. A romantic relationship didn't work out, I don't know all the details, but in hindsight he regrets not having anyone to share his life with and I think he has been lonely, especially since retirement. I don't think he would have consciously chosen this route in his younger years.
Yeah I think he was looking for all these men who are happy being single and ironically I don't meet a lot who are and the ones who claim they are really aren't. Meanwhile I know a lot of women who are so happy they aren't married. I don't know many men having sex with lots of women either, that's only a myth I see online.
Yeah that's why the ENTIRE wedding industry is geared toward women, because they don't care about getting married .
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