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i was in poland on a company assignment. they were in fact planning on stationing me there for a 2 year secondment to build out a whole team of technical specialists.
the fact that the women there were a whole lot easier to talk to and hang out with just made the trip more fun
i've approached women of ALL races - white, black, latin, asian, and also had many, many candid conversations with my female friends (also of different races) and the one theme that comes out consistently is the one i've stated, ie, "my own race or a white guy". take a look at this study done by okcupid:
here's a quote to drive home my point, because i know you won't bother reading the study anyway:
"White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group." now this doesn't mean that the women don't date ANY other races, just that in general, if you're a non-white guy looking to date outside his race, you're gonna have a much tougher time.
here's another:
"White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively.These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible."
that's just one site, but i'm fairly certain that the data is representative of larger populations as well.
i can understand someone wanting to date someone of their own race - while it's still pretty closed minded in this day, age, and culture, at least a case can be made for experiential commonality. it's the "or a white guy" racist bit that i find most interesting, and revealing of a cultural bias.
Ok, if you had luck in Poland and want to be with a woman outside your race (apparently white, hispanic, and asian seem highest on your list since you are citing okcupid results about them)...why don't you go to Poland or find where their community is in CA and approach them there? They are obviously without 'cultural bias'. Also, did it ever occur to you that this 'cultural bias' you speak of might just be what attracts them? You are crying about women 'of other races' not giving you a chance and criticizing them for their taste in men (white) at the same time. You just seem to be upset because you are not a white man capable of attracting what you desire.
It's not high self esteem, it's ego and arrogance.
Maybe I said something that hit too close to home ? You seem pretty defensive.
I'm just analyzing your guys heated debate about LA women and trying to gain some insight. You guys just sound bitter and upset that these women are not going for you. Well, that's too bad, isn't it?
what makes you think i only go for the most attractive women? to boot, the more attractive women have often been nicer than the average-to-unattractive women.
what man wants a woman who would never have dated him in the prime of her youth, but now, at 30+ when she's been used, abused and scarred by all the "bad-boys" she found so irresistible in her youth, she suddenly starts noticing the soft spoken, boring, "safe" type of guys? the number of 30+ women that have been emotionally and psychologically scarred by a-holes in their 20s is staggering. there's so many such bitter women out there, it makes dating in your 30s a real PITA. too much baggage being lugged around.
i try to approach who ever i find attractive, which is a broad range. as stated above, i don't go exclusively for the absolute hottest girl in the room - most guys in fact don't. if i find a hot 20-something that shows interest, of course i'll pursue her.
do you know what a douchebag is? go find out, and then think of me as the opposite.
Well, I don't know what you look like and what the women you are refering to look like. However, there is an easy solution for you if what you write is true--don't ask these 30+ year old women out. Somehow I think you are being insincere, however
Ok, if you had luck in Poland and want to be with a woman outside your race (apparently white, hispanic, and asian seem highest on your list since you are citing okcupid results about them)...why don't you go to Poland or find where their community is in CA and approach them there?
why would i go to poland just to find a woman? it was fun to stay there for a few weeks, but my family and friends are all here in the US. i don't mind moving around within the US, because i'm still usually a short distance away from friends + family. moving to another continent is a bit extreme, however.
for the record, i already have had a number of liaisons with polish and other eastern european here in socal, over the past decade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers
Also, did it ever occur to you that this 'cultural bias' you speak of might just be what attracts them?
did it ever occur to you that if it was indeed "just what attracts them", ie, random, then the distribution of preferences would not be so skewed towards just 1 race? the fact that it is so, however, is a very strong indicator of something else at play. are you really so dense? do you really not know anything about the history of racial/ethnic strife, biases and prejudices in this country? or across the world, for that matter? or perhaps you're among the privileged who would rather not acknowledge said privilege, which it appears to me to be the case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers
You are crying about women 'of other races' not giving you a chance and criticizing them for their taste in men (white) at the same time. You just seem to be upset because you are not a white man capable of attracting what you desire.
you really need to re-read everything i've posted - and then perhaps take a college level course or two in reading comprehension.
i think people SHOULD date whoever they want to date, and i would never support any law or any kind of pressure on any one, for any reason, to influence who they get romantically and sexually involved with.
that said, i think it's still important to acknowledge that even in this day and age, race/ethnicity plays an important role in how people perceive and value others.
I'm just analyzing your guys heated debate about LA women and trying to gain some insight. You guys just sound bitter and upset that these women are not going for you. Well, that's too bad, isn't it?
Not true. That's an assumption. For one, I don't date women. Never have, never will. I'm about as neutral an observer as it gets. But I agree with everything ElysianEagle has said.
To answer your previous post, Bay Area women may not be as physically beautiful but I've heard they aren't nearly as choosy as the ones in LA.
Women in LA tend to be brainwashed, jaded, and materialistic when it comes to dating.
Out of the city. Women around the outer surburbs of LA county. (like in the San Gabriel Valley) tend to be more realistic in what they are looking for. I can just be myself and not have to put up an act. I've also date alot of women out of town.
This. I actually like LA more for the parts of LA that are more on the fringes of LA than the core.
The core areas of LA from say Westwood through BH/Weho, Hollywood, Fairfax, etc. is ground zero for the shallow/materialistic lifestyle that LA is known for and people always talk about. You can also add in there certain "Hollywoodyzed" parts of the valley (IE: Encino, Calabasas). Other parts of the Westside Santa Monica/Venice/Culver City you have a mix of both down-to-earth and "so LA".
I think some of the single-oriented areas where one is going to find more down to earth types could include Pasadena, Los Feliz-Silverlake (although one might stand out if one is not hipster), DTLA, some South Bay areas, Long Beach, etc. I found that girls who grew up in NW SF Valley, Santa Clarita, foothill areas (La Cresenta east through Monrovia/Claremont/San Gabriel Valley, South Bay including El Segundo, NORTH OC, IE (one of the coolest girls I ever went out with was from Riverside, although things didn't work out).
Thing is there are a lot of different options and scenes and one for everyone. But the core, famous parts of LA is where one finds this attitude.
Converse this with cities/metros like Houston or Chicago, where the single scene in the centralized core areas are more down to earth than LAs counterparts, but beyond the urban core area, its all familyville and singles that never left their parents basement.
why would i go to poland just to find a woman? it was fun to stay there for a few weeks, but my family and friends are all here in the US. i don't mind moving around within the US, because i'm still usually a short distance away from friends + family. moving to another continent is a bit extreme, however.
for the record, i already have had a number of liaisons with polish and other eastern european here in socal, over the past decade.
did it ever occur to you that if it was indeed "just what attracts them", ie, random, then the distribution of preferences would not be so skewed towards just 1 race? the fact that it is so, however, is a very strong indicator of something else at play. are you really so dense? do you really not know anything about the history of racial/ethnic strife, biases and prejudices in this country? or across the world, for that matter? or perhaps you're among the privileged who would rather not acknowledge said privilege, which it appears to me to be the case.
you really need to re-read everything i've posted - and then perhaps take a college level course or two in reading comprehension.
i think people SHOULD date whoever they want to date, and i would never support any law or any kind of pressure on any one, for any reason, to influence who they get romantically and sexually involved with.
that said, i think it's still important to acknowledge that even in this day and age, race/ethnicity plays an important role in how people perceive and value others.
I didn't say you 'had' to move to Poland...and you already seem to have done what I suggested about seeking them out in their communities.
As far as things being skewed towards one race...whoa, you want to talk about egos now!! You seem to be outraged that women of all races first consider their own and then caucasian. Meanwhile, there is no mention of your community of women from you. Apparently you don't care who they choose because you don't want them!
You have some nerve bringing race into this. You 'do' have a problem with who others date when you are not included. Well, tough cookies...people are free to pursue whomever they wish and ignore the advances of a whole race(s) if it isn't what they desire. You are something else.
And no, I don't come from a position of privilege. This is just my opinion. I feel you are hypocritical.
If the whole population of models in the U.S. chooses to overlook everyone but models or actors...is that excluding a whole lot of people? Well, yes. Who is that too bad for? Everyone who wants them who isn't a model or actor. Too bad, that's life. Deal with it.
Not true. That's an assumption. For one, I don't date women. Never have, never will. I'm about as neutral an observer as it gets. But I agree with everything ElysianEagle has said.
To answer your previous post, Bay Area women may not be as physically beautiful but I've heard they aren't nearly as choosy as the ones in LA.
Women in LA tend to be brainwashed, jaded, and materialistic when it comes to dating.
Beggars can't be choosers but rich people can (I don't literally mean rich...I'm being metaphorical). I'm not even rich but I like to think I am a realist.
Beggars can't be choosers but rich people can (I don't literally mean rich...I'm being metaphorical). I'm not even rich but I like to think I am a realist.
I get it. A women with model looks and a great career can afford to be choosy with the type of guy she dates.
But the issue in LA is, very average women with not so great prospects are being just as choosy as the model!
Women outnumber men in LA. Women FAR outnumber "eligible" men. "Eligible" men are often gay or total players. So what we have is a city of women "nexting" plenty of decent guys, remaining perpetually single, while the decent guys get frustrated and jaded. It's a vicious cycle.
I get it. A women with model looks and a great career can afford to be choosy with the type of guy she dates.
But the issue in LA is, very average women with not so great prospects are being just as choosy as the model!
Women outnumber men in LA. Women FAR outnumber "eligible" men. "Eligible" men are often gay or total players. So what we have is a city of women "nexting" plenty of decent guys, remaining perpetually single, while the decent guys get frustrated and jaded. It's a vicious cycle.
Well, going back to what I said about people's genitals and choices... I have an ugly friend with high standards. He has many great qualities as a person but refuses to settle on an average girl (and sadly enough, he is below average). Who am I to tell him that he must settle? I may softly suggest it, but ultimately it is his choice whether he can live with loneliness.
I guess I understand your frustration...but then I would say you should look for opportunities elsewhere instead of waiting for girls you deem 'average' to settle on you! Maybe they don't feel average? Maybe you throw off a vibe that you don't think they're 'all that' and they 'should' be into you? You never know.
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I'm not defensive at all
