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My mother died in January. When I got the news, we had been estranged for 13 years. I danced around the house singing "Ding-dong, the witch is dead!"
I have not spoken to my father since 1980. I don't know if he is alive and I don't care. I don't speak to my sister, either. I speak to one (1) cousin. There is nothing to be ashamed of in extricating yourself from pure toxicity.
I'm glad my mother is dead. I will celebrate upon hearing of my father's death. "Family," is nothing more than a biological accident. My family is chosen. We love each other. Bio-fam? **** 'em.
J.P. I also agree with one of the poster that you need to seek counseling for all of this. You cannot do it alone. Suicide is a tough one. My counselors daughter committed suicide at age 18. She was being bullied and had other issues. My counselor did all the right things to get her the help she needed but it wasn't enough. My counselor now gives talks on suicide and wrote a book.
Please get some help...you really need to talk to someone. Your parents were a bit extreme in kicking your brother out in my opinion but that's just my opinion. We have to learn to forgive people we love.
Your brother may have had other things going on as well...that none of you knew about. I wish you loads of luck.
OP, tell your dates that your grandparents are like parents to you, and they've always been wonderfully supportive of you and your brother when he was alive, so your primary bond is with them. That should work. As long as your tight with some family members, that speaks well of you.
OP, tell your dates that your grandparents are like parents to you, and they've always been wonderfully supportive of you and your brother when he was alive, so your primary bond is with them. That should work. As long as your tight with some family members, that speaks well of you.
Check the dates, Ruth - OP hasn't posted since June 2014, in a thread about Eliot Rodger, the Kissless Virgin.
OP, tell your dates that your grandparents are like parents to you, and they've always been wonderfully supportive of you and your brother when he was alive, so your primary bond is with them. That should work. As long as your tight with some family members, that speaks well of you.
Old Topic, but I'll bite. It always depends on the individual basis. I'm not really on speaking terms with my parents.
Looking back, it was just... a mess. We were all bad and we had to split.
I'm not on speaking terms with my father and never will be because he got my mother pregnant and left. He is only a glorified sperm donor in my eyes. If a woman doesn't want to date because of that then I don't care. I won't make up with a man who didn't want me because it's "healthy" is some woman's eyes.
Old post, but I go long periods without speaking to both of my parents because they can be very difficult, and absenting myself is the only way to maintain my boundaries. My father is 85 and increasingly senile now, and I'm just going to deal with his crazy, but my mother has been fairly respectful of boundaries (with a few slip-ups) for some years now, and she's in a bit of a personality renaissance because of her new boyfriend, so I am hopeful.
I'd never judge someone for not speaking with their parents - there's too much I wouldn't know about the ins and outs of their relationships. Right now, my FWB maintains loose contact with both of his parents, and I bite my tongue on our rare discussions of them. I'd have dropped them both, as his childhood was horrific, but IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Not only are we just FWBs, but I only met him when he was in his 40s. I have no idea what really went on, and his relationships with his parents are one of the few things he seems at peace with.
Is this a red flag for relationships, regardless of the reason?
In regards to dating, how do I explain why I have nothing to do with my parents? Telling the truth obviously failed me.
I have to wonder if I would have had a better course of relationship events if I had become estranged from my parents / family at a young age.
It would have made things so much simpler.
My bizarre family scared away many a partner and my wife can't stand them.
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