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Frugal doesn't bother me when the frugal person himself is willing to make sacrifices...however if they are generous with their own needs and cheap with those around him...that bothers me...and no I don't find that attractive!
Heavenforbid someone spend their own money on ... themselves
I am a woman. Most of the guys I dated were always broke, and in fact one of them ended up stealing from me.
I have always been frugal and rather cheap. I grew up that way, it was a learned trait I think.
I don't like "things" and prefer to be financially secure. I don't like relying on others for things, and it's scary to wonder if you can pay a bill or to be without health insurance.
My husband is a spender, and he can be annoyed at how cheap I am. He complains that I complain that I have to do without something, well hey if I don't do without, the bills might not get paid because he is spending it all. Thankfully, he is more retirement-minded and has come a LONG way money wise. He used to pay minimum-only on a credit card with 25% interest and never understood how that worked. I taught him a lot. I helped him get his credit score from virtually nothing to 800.
I don't like to spend. He will use any reason he can to spend, to eat out, etc. He wants to pay for a lawn service, I want to mow it myself. He wants to pay for house repairs, I want to try to do them ourselves. If it requires a bit of work, he would rather pay or buy new. He buys new shoes twice as often as I do, new chairs for his computer desk - he's about to buy his 3rd in 10 years, I'm on the same one. Things like that. If something is a bit worn or doesn't work right with ease, his solution is to buy a new one. Mine is to take a look at it, put in a little elbow grease and maybe fix it. We had a piece furniture, when we moved there was a piece missing. His solution was to not even take a look, just go buy a new one. I went on you tube and looked up the model number, parts lists, got some help and fixed it myself with a bit of spare time and a replacement part, no cost. He just doesn't do things like that - would rather spend money then take a bit of time to just make something work. I remember one time my father had a storage unit, he had to provide a lock. The lock didn't seem to quite fit at first. My father worked with it about a minute, figured it out. My husband was there and right away first second said, "oh just buy a new one then" from the storage unit place who was selling locks that were about 10 times more expensive than most discount stores. The fact that he would just give in and would spend 10x's more than he had to with such ease bugged me.
Me, I certainly find it more attractive. People who want, want, want I don't really find that attractive. People like his sister, who spend on stupid stuff like $7500 on a ring then whine that they can't pay for their house? Take on over $100K in student loans then go on vacation to Disney and Vegas? How is that attractive? To me, it is NOT. Certainly, this is a broad spectrum, frugal and spendy, as someone said. A man like the one on this TV show I saw who is so cheap he won't pay for deoderant, that isn't very attractive though. Or who insists you walk a mile to get lake water instead of having running water, or the woman who will serve you food out of the garbage - yeah that's not attractive either.
Cheap is not attractive at ages under 30. After 30, when you can afford a nice house cash and car fully paid, it will be attractive. At my age, the guys who spend their money for bottle service and leased bmw get all the chicks.
3 of my close friends have over 100k in the bank at 25.All are frugal and hardworking but not cheap. They will definitely pitch in for costs. Their sex life is near nil.
But my friends who blow 50-100 every weekend at bars will probably pick up once a month. I would estimate they have less than 5 grand savings.
Think about it, if you are frugal but have a fat bank account, how will chicks know? Only way is to be a douche and accidentally slip your bank receipt during the date. Otherwise chicks will just think you are a poor guy with no money. I am confident that I get mistaken for that many times.
Last edited by techcrium; 09-08-2013 at 09:03 PM..
Cheap is not attractive at ages under 30. After 30, when you can afford a nice house cash and car fully paid, it will be attractive. At my age, the guys who spend their money for bottle service and leased bmw get all the chicks.
3 of my close friends have over 100k in the bank at 25.All are frugal and hardworking but not cheap. They will definitely pitch in for costs. Their sex life is near nil.
But my friends who blow 50-100 every weekend at bars will probably pick up once a month. I would estimate they have less than 5 grand savings.
Think about it, if you are frugal but have a fat bank account, how will chicks know? Only way is to be a douche and accidentally slip your bank receipt during the date. Otherwise chicks will just think you are a poor guy with no money. I am confident that I get mistaken for that many times.
You can always make the money back but you never get the high libido of your 20's back. For me it was worth it to settle with what ever I could get so that I was having regular kinky sex (not once a month lol). Then when your libido starts slipping you can work more.
There is a happy-medium. I prefer someone who spends intelligently when it comes to money.
Buying more house than you need and barely being able to make the payments on it is pure stupidity in my opinion. Buying toys you can't really afford just because your buddy just bought the latest and greatest shows a complete lack of intelligence, yet people do this all the time. God forbid they don't impress all their friends with their "things"
No thanks. I'm more interested in the person that knows how to save money and invest wisely.
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