who wears the pants in your relationship, and how old are you? (man, husband)
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however you want to word it "encouragement" is just forcing the situation in to an ultimatum through manipulation.
when people do not make choices about specific things its often not because they do not know how to make decisions, its typically because they really do not care about "whatever" it is being put in front of them.
Right.
So you have to encourage, not manipulate.
I mean, say, "What is it you want to do here?" Them wait for him to decide. If he refuses then a hard look at his role taking will have to be brought up at a family meeting.
It's hard. I know. If the man does take the lead in paying the bill at dinner, driving around to pick you up when it's raining or holding the door you have to tell him how much you appreciate him taking the lead for you. He will hopefully see how much you enjoy having him do his role and this taking a lot of burden off of you for playing all the roles.
We are 37. I am the woman. I don't know how to tell who "wears the pants" or whatever. There's never been a doghouse. No one sleeps on the couch out of anger. No one gives in... I don't really know. We just work to make decisions together. No one forces the other to do what we want, nor do we manipulate or blackmail the other to do what we want.
In my past relationship I was constantly in the doghouse, manipulated, tested, etc. It got old, fast. I have no desire to be on either end of that. I prefer a healthy relationship where 2 people can work together to solve an issue or make a decision. Is it really that hard? I did have a boyfriend who once flat out told me, "The women in my family are all bosses. They tell their men what to do. So that is what I want from you." He actually wanted me to tell him what to do, to have him "whipped" and everything! It's like he LIKED it. I hated it, I had to practically baby him. So I had both sides of the coin, hated them both.
I've always been the head of the house for the past 37 years. I make the final decision when it comes to moving, spending money etc, but we always discuss, talk about it and make sure we're on the same page with the final decision, because the decisions affect us both. One time she vetoed a move and since the kids voted with her also, I gave in and let them have their way. Besides, they were right on that one. There better be give and take, compromise on both sides or its not going to work long term.
Well, when new vehicles come up and stuff like that it should be discussed. Where to put your 401k.....stuff like that.
It's only right and fair.
I'm referring to the things women don't or won't do, yet still wear the pants.
When I saw a guy at Sears begging to buy a tool.....that was enough for me.
Just get on your hands and knees and cry like a toddler why don't you.....you P****! lol
I know. Lol I'm instigating you.
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