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Old 09-10-2013, 08:41 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,642,088 times
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He's got ED and you're probably not affectionate either, which doesn't help.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:03 PM
 
12 posts, read 31,165 times
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I would like to open that dialogue with him. He may not be ready to have that conversation with me right now.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:06 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,642,088 times
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Stressful.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:33 PM
 
415 posts, read 599,590 times
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The dude should just break up with you. It's obvious he's not turned on by you and he wants to see new women.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:44 PM
 
12 posts, read 31,165 times
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Thanks TheBigGuy!
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Old 09-10-2013, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,518 posts, read 34,807,002 times
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Well I think you should help him out. Tell him you are interested in a threesome.

When he gets there have all the mood set, candles, incense, satin sheets.

Wear your bow tie and stilettos again.

Strip him down seductively.



Then tell him to bend over, so Hank get a good view.



Sorry, I think his ED is making him feel bad, so he is blaming you so he feels better. I wouldn't play nice in that situation.
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,431 posts, read 2,479,708 times
Reputation: 3451
He is dealing with erectile dysfunction. Ok.

How is his level of desire? His mood? His energy? He could be suffering from low testosterone or another hormonal imbalance.

Men's testosterone levels peak and more or less hold steady from 18 to the mid/late 20s and begin to decline (albeit slowly) from there. For some, this process may be more rapid/drastic than others. This could be the real problem.

Colour me suspicious, but I can't help but wonder. His behaviour seems like someone who's talking big & overcompensating, but can't seem to put hammer to anvil when it matters. 5" stiletto heels and a bow-tie should do the trick.

Re swinging: Some time ago, CD saw a big thread on this with input from those currently and formerly in the lifestyle/scene. They tended to agree with the following statement: Swinging, when mutually desired, makes an already strong, healthy relationship even better. It will destroy a weak and/or troubled relationship.
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:32 PM
 
19,968 posts, read 30,200,655 times
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i think you are being too nice

" i wont judge" and sorry i wasnt enough???

tell this idiot to get lost, you stayed trying to be understanding and now he wants to ***** you out???

tell mr. silly string to go enjoy himself with all the other women, i dont get swinging, its not like trading recipes


dont be blaming yourself, let him go , and dont take him back-he's a fruit-loop!!
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:37 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,195,845 times
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It sounds like the two of you had some communication issues. If you can't talk openly with each other about sex, not sure how much of a relationship there is to save. See, when he started having issues, that was the time for you two to sit down and have a good, long talk. You could have discussed pharmaceutical help. That would have been his opportunity to come clean with you, before you stooped to snooping--which is a whole other issue right there that doesn't speak well for the relationship. And if he said he was taking Viagra, I'd have suggested Cialis, because that is extended release and will take him from dinner on Friday through brunch on Sunday. Then he could have whooped it up on demand without having to take a pill every time he thought there might be sex and then wait for it to take effect.

But if you just withdraw because he has problems, you've shut down the rapport. It takes a lot for a man to tell a woman that he feels she's slipping away. That was your cue to have a heart-to-heart with him, instead of just giving up on him without even trying to talk to him about it.

So then he came back with the suggestion of swinging, which, honestly, sounds more like it comes from desperation than anything else.
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:40 PM
 
Location: Maryland's 6th District.
8,357 posts, read 25,231,290 times
Reputation: 6541
My guess is that his wee-wee works just fine and I'll bet that he is simply going trough a mid-life crisis combined with the possibility that his current GF just doesn't float his boat sexually. He likes her enough to continue to be her BF, yet, needs the excitement and/or other naked female body to become aroused.

My suggestion would be to try porn first followed by turning up the kink (between the two of you) in the bedroom and see what happens.
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