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It's kind of depressing that a man gets to that age and the big concern and drama in his life is still his weiner.
The desire for a satisfying sex life stays with people late in life. Both men and women. I worked at a nursing home once. At first I was shocked to meet sixty, seventy, and eighty year old men and women complaining about their sex life. After a while, it didn't shock me anymore. One day, a seventy-something year old woman was crying all day. The whole day she was crying. We kept asking her what was wrong but she wouldn't say. She wouldn't say for days. Finally, she opened up to one of the nurses. The day she was crying was fiftieth anniversary of when she had lost her virginity. She said, "I woke up and realized I had lost my virginity fifty years ago today. Then I also realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd had sex and I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried."
I think I would be leery of him personally after the things that happened. I have no idea why a man with erectile dysfunction would even consider swinging. It would be embarassing enough to not get it up for your girlfriend, but then also for others too? I think I would be concerned that he would be looking elsewhere on the side for sex.
I don't think the man has true ED--he just can't get it up for his gf. He may be a closet gay or can only perform under certain circumstances or with certain age groups, but I'm sure he can perform or he wouldn't be pushing for this. I am not saying this as meaning that there's anything wrong with the OP--she might be gorgeous and great in bed for all we know, but she is not what Mr. Happy wants right now so he wants to branch out. The relationship is already on thin ice and if she doesn't want to swing, then she should break it off b/c if she doesn't, he probably will or he'll cheat. BTW, my words come from experience.
I think he is lonely for more sex and/or affection from her... and is acting out trying to get her attention. they both need to learn to communicate honestly.
I think he is lonely for more sex and/or affection from her... and is acting out trying to get her attention. they both need to learn to communicate honestly.
Eh I call BS on that one. If that was the case he could just let her know or break up with her. Lonely 54 yo guys with ED don't just suddenly decide to swing. Could be he's been watching porno on the sly and masturbating too much and has nothing left for her.
I've been ignoring this thread but will give my $0.02 worth one time.
I don't see how someone with ED has any desire to get into the "swingers" scene. That doesn't ring right to me.
There has to be more to this story than this. Is his libido normal? If not that is a hormonal problem. If it is then it could be an ED problem.
Either way, I would not engage in such activity. I see that as just too potentially dangerous as to be flatly turned down. If he walks, it is probably for the best anyway. This is coming from a male perspective. I don't know where he is coming from to be honest. There are some things one just doesn't do. This is one of them.
The desire for a satisfying sex life stays with people late in life. Both men and women. I worked at a nursing home once. At first I was shocked to meet sixty, seventy, and eighty year old men and women complaining about their sex life. After a while, it didn't shock me anymore. One day, a seventy-something year old woman was crying all day. The whole day she was crying. We kept asking her what was wrong but she wouldn't say. She wouldn't say for days. Finally, she opened up to one of the nurses. The day she was crying was fiftieth anniversary of when she had lost her virginity. She said, "I woke up and realized I had lost my virginity fifty years ago today. Then I also realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd had sex and I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried."
I don't disagree that sexual desire can last well into old age. I hope it does!
That really has nothing to do with what I said, however.
Eh I call BS on that one. If that was the case he could just let her know or break up with her. Lonely 54 yo guys with ED don't just suddenly decide to swing. Could be he's been watching porno on the sly and masturbating too much and has nothing left for her.
I don't see how someone with ED has any desire to get into the "swingers" scene. That doesn't ring right to me.
It doesn't surprise me at all, actually. Lack of function doesn't necessarily mean lack of desire. Also, read the link I posted on the Coolidge Effect. Sometimes having new partners is exciting and makes it easier to become aroused. I'm not saying this is good or bad, just saying that's how it works sometimes.
Eh I call BS on that one. If that was the case he could just let her know or break up with her. Lonely 54 yo guys with ED don't just suddenly decide to swing. Could be he's been watching porno on the sly and masturbating too much and has nothing left for her.
It doesn't surprise me at all, actually. Lack of function doesn't necessarily mean lack of desire. Also, read the link I posted on the Coolidge Effect. Sometimes having new partners is exciting and makes it easier to become aroused. I'm not saying this is good or bad, just saying that's how it works sometimes.
Its a pity that things work out like that. I have received great advice from all who participated here. I read the Coolidge Effect and comprehend what that is about. Good for him if at 54 he can get someone else who can ring his bell. I just won't help him but kissing other women. I have no desire to see ***** or kiss other women to make my man happy. He is free to find happiness in other people. It was great to hear all the different perspectives. Such is the world now...everything is so instant and so readily available. I hope he finds happiness in his new endeavours.
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