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Funny he lied about a lot of things. Who's controlling, me or him? Who lies about a child??? Who's the controlled the whole relationships. A woman's intuition is never wrong. He lied about something. Now I know why he was so secretive... I'm very easy easy. You're probably just like which is why your answer is more supportive of someone ego would deny their own and blood? Hide it from a woman??? lie about their age??? Cancel last minute at christmas and other holidays??? yells at me when I express disappointment for cancelling on holiday stuff Without a sincere apology??? He should of been honest. I've never been called controlling by any man. Lol. You're a joker. You're probably a player yourself and have many successful relationships.
Coming here asking for advice and then turning on someone who is trying to call it as they see it, is...well...rather suspect.
I suggest if you are truly depressed and need help, talk to a friend, or a professional.
Hide it from a woman??? lie about their age??? Cancel last minute at christmas and other holidays??? yells at me when I express disappointment for cancelling on holiday stuff Without a sincere apology???
THE GUY IS MARRIED. All of the bolded above is classic behavior of a cheater.
Move on, seriously.
He was a player and you got played, and you apparently still believe the lies after he dumped you, since you're projecting your anger onto the people here giving you advice.
I think it's fine to be angry but you should be thanking your lucky stars that you never got pregnant and chalk this one up to experience - learn from it.
THE GUY IS MARRIED. All of the bolded above is classic behavior of a cheater.
Wow, yeah, was thinking the same thing. Closure right there.
For me I am of two minds on this.
The two times I was dumped was
1) by telephone
2) silent treatment (total cut-off of contact without explantion)
...in #2, the person was mentally ill, so I knew that was how he dealt/coped with interpersonal difficultys (did get a breif explantion that he "didnt like the way the relationship developed", tho no indication of that when we were together), so, cowardly & cold but the guy was a certifable nut. In this case I didn't feel closure since I was left hanging ("why doesnt he return my phonecalls?, and was left sort of wondering and hagning.
...in #1, by the phone, just not working out type of message or breif talk. No final date or "exit interview" type of date. Sounds cold, but I came to appreciate the efficiency of it. There was closure enough, for me, and I was able to move on.
Funny he lied about a lot of things. Who's controlling, me or him? Who lies about a child??? Who's the controlled the whole relationships. A woman's intuition is never wrong. He lied about something. Now I know why he was so secretive... I'm very easy easy. You're probably just like which is why your answer is more supportive of someone ego would deny their own and blood? Hide it from a woman??? lie about their age??? Cancel last minute at christmas and other holidays??? yells at me when I express disappointment for cancelling on holiday stuff Without a sincere apology??? He should of been honest. I've never been called controlling by any man. Lol. You're a joker. You're probably a player yourself and have many successful relationships.
Yikes. Move on woman. You are sounding a bit creepy now. When a relationship ends because one person has been dishonest - MOVE ON. No one is entitled to "closure". You are entitled to nothing. Let it go.
Just wondering why anyone would deny anyone closure in a relationship?
To make a long story short, I was dating a guy for almost two years. During the relationship, he would do some things that were questionable to lead me to believe he was dating other women.
We got into an argument one day. I sent him a bunch of text msgs while he was at work accusing him of having another woman. He said I caused him a lot stress and avoided me for a bit. It made me feel very guilty. One day during our break, I ran into him with a kid and a woman. Long story I found out then and there he had a kid. He lied to me in the relationship and told me that he had no kids. So he hid this from me. So although I was wrong about a woman, he still lied to me about something. I sent him a letter telling him that all he had to do was tell me the truth and I wouldn't have given him a hard time during our relationship. I would have been supportive. I respect parents - esp single dads.
He breaks up with me through a text msg a few days ago and did not take responsibility for lying and basically blamed me bc he said I stressed him. He said whether I knew or not if he had a child has nothing to do with why the relationship ended. But obviously it ended around the time I was questioning odd things he was doing. I haven't seen him since. I'm very depressed, my self esteem is low and I feel as if I have no self worth. This is a guy who put me on a pedistool and them just dropped me. We went out a lot (typical dating relationship ) and he was always supportive of me. He will not discuss the issue. He's moved on and enjoying his life, his career and friends while I'm hurt. I don't have a lot of people in my life and he was a big part of it. And so this has devastated me. I'd feel better If I had my last words to him but that won't happen. Why do people deny others closure? I feel as if he's mostly to blame for the breakup. I don't know why he would lie about having a child. I don't want him back. Just want an explanation. Btw dumping me by text was hurtful. He was like let's be friends - it didn't work out the other way.
I am sorry that you are hurting. You sound like a very forgiving sweet girl.
You deserve a better man who will treat you with honesty, respect, and love. I believe there will be a lot of men who would appreciate a girl like you.
Even if you have been lied to, you are willing to give this man a second chance. I admire your ability to forgive.
Having said that, I think at this moment, you should take your feeling and emotional well being into consideration. Healing from a break-up is a process, it takes some time..
You already received closure, by him telling you the relationship was over. He also told you why, but it sounds like you don't believe him. Right now you are hurt and frustrated, which is understandable. But to continue talking to him or trying to talk to him is not going to make you feel better. The only way you are going to feel better is to learn from this and focus on making yourself happy. When you start going out, meeting new people, focusing on things you need to do, you won't have time to think about him and the breakup. Besides, as everyone else has said he did you a favor. It could have ended a lot worse, be thankful.
Just wondering why anyone would deny anyone closure in a relationship?
To make a long story short, I was dating a guy for almost two years. During the relationship, he would do some things that were questionable to lead me to believe he was dating other women.
We got into an argument one day. I sent him a bunch of text msgs while he was at work accusing him of having another woman. He said I caused him a lot stress and avoided me for a bit. It made me feel very guilty. One day during our break, I ran into him with a kid and a woman. Long story I found out then and there he had a kid. He lied to me in the relationship and told me that he had no kids. So he hid this from me. So although I was wrong about a woman, he still lied to me about something. I sent him a letter telling him that all he had to do was tell me the truth and I wouldn't have given him a hard time during our relationship. I would have been supportive. I respect parents - esp single dads.
He breaks up with me through a text msg a few days ago and did not take responsibility for lying and basically blamed me bc he said I stressed him. He said whether I knew or not if he had a child has nothing to do with why the relationship ended. But obviously it ended around the time I was questioning odd things he was doing. I haven't seen him since. I'm very depressed, my self esteem is low and I feel as if I have no self worth. This is a guy who put me on a pedistool and them just dropped me. We went out a lot (typical dating relationship ) and he was always supportive of me. He will not discuss the issue. He's moved on and enjoying his life, his career and friends while I'm hurt. I don't have a lot of people in my life and he was a big part of it. And so this has devastated me. I'd feel better If I had my last words to him but that won't happen. Why do people deny others closure? I feel as if he's mostly to blame for the breakup. I don't know why he would lie about having a child. I don't want him back. Just want an explanation. Btw dumping me by text was hurtful. He was like let's be friends - it didn't work out the other way.
I'm so sorry you are hurting
But you are making the mistake many women do when a relationship ends, personalizing HIS bad behavior and turning your anger into depression. DON'T let this continue! Focus your anger outward at him where it belongs, not inward at yourself!
WHY do you want to give him so much power over you? Because that is what you are doing by giving in to despair.
Get real here and do it quickly.
Yes, you are hurt, but you do not have to continue hurting.
Start by accepting the facts...
He was not who you thought he was.
You placed your trust in someone who turned out to be untrustworthy
He was not the man for you.
You have not done anything to deserve his mistreatment.
He is a coward for breaking up with you by text and not in person, so there should be no surprise that he will not give you "closure".
ACCEPT all this and stop writing the story in your head that you are clinging to. The story is over, or it will be when you stop ruminating on it.
Reclaim your dignity and self-esteem. Keep reminding yourself that HE is the one with lack of character. He is the one not worthy of you.
Begin right this minute to love yourself enough to protect yourself from further pain.
You can do this!
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Do you hear yourself?
, and was left sort of wondering and hagning. 
