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I don't think so. In fact, at least one of times I was able to successfully enter into a relationship, I was pretty desperate, hitting on everything that moved, and expected rejection. The last time I was rejected, I hadn't had dating on my mind for many months and my meeting with her seemed so natural, so unforced, and I expected it to go well. I guess that's part of the reason it kind of f@cked me up.
You can keep trying to meet women through natural, everyday events, but depending on your situation, the volume might not be enough. You seem to think I said hit on every thing that moves and has a vagina. I didn't say that.
In any case, most women you meet will not want to get to know you better. So, it has to be about numbers to a certain extent.
I didn't think that you meant hit on everything with a vagina. I just was using the premise approaching x number if women on a given night and why this leads to routine rejection.
What YOU don't get is that you are totally ignoring the biological and sexual components of attraction. What good is it to have a girl with an amazing personality if when we are in the bedroom if her looks keep "Mr. D" from coming out and playing?
Oh and BTW my lack of a dating life is totally by choice.
The other thing is, it seems women are telling men to care less about looks.
I haven't really seen that women care about looks any less. If they were, I'd be rejected after the first to third date. Typically, I get rejected during the approach or 5 to 10 minutes of conversation.
The other thing is, it seems women are telling men to care less about looks.
I don't know that that's the case. Obviously, plenty of people aren't going to be immediately attracted to everyone they come in contact with. A 5-10 minute conversation is often more than enough time to determine if things will go further (which is different from rejection.) There do seem to be some guys who are saying that they find many women that they see "repulsive" or implying that if they don't get a boner on sight, then she's not worth talking to, which seems like it's going rule out an awful lot of potential women from the get-go.
I don't know that that's the case. Obviously, plenty of people aren't going to be immediately attracted to everyone they come in contact with. A 5-10 minute conversation is often more than enough time to determine if things will go further (which is different from rejection.) There do seem to be some guys who are saying that they find many women that they see "repulsive" or implying that if they don't get a boner on sight, then she's not worth talking to, which seems like it's going rule out an awful lot of potential women from the get-go.
^^^This. This is what we're talking about when we say that some people seem to be limiting themselves, because I don't see tons of "repulsive" people around, to the point that I could never find a date. I see tons of average/regular people everywhere.
Attraction and chemistry are rarely based on first sight.
I don't know that that's the case. Obviously, plenty of people aren't going to be immediately attracted to everyone they come in contact with. A 5-10 minute conversation is often more than enough time to determine if things will go further (which is different from rejection.)
I'm sure lots of women have written me off after 50 seconds. I don't doubt it. That's why I stated certain guys need to do volume for any kind of success.
Personally, I need a little more time to completely write a person off for life. Have you ever dated someone who said or did something dumb or offensive? I have. I personally associate women who are really into fashion or watch stuff like 'Real Housewives' as a bad sign, because it might mean they are shallow and petty. But I won't write someone off because of that. Who knows? They might be a total sweetheart.
But, really, I think you are reading too much into it. It's mostly about looks. Or whatever weird kind of spark and excitement certain guys can give in 300 seconds that make women fall madly in love that you guys are always talking about. Also, if you have a lot of options, you can choose fairly discriminately.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
^^^This. This is what we're talking about when we say that some people seem to be limiting themselves, because I don't see tons of "repulsive" people around, to the point that I could never find a date. I see tons of average/regular people everywhere.
Attraction and chemistry are rarely based on first sight.
I highly doubt that is the case. I know plenty of unsuccessful men and none of them are that picky about looks. More than likely, I could walk into a bar with JBT tonight, and he'd find almost all of the women his age there attractive.
What he's saying is that all of the women he's physically attracted to don't like him. What I'm trying to say is that most of the women he's not physically attracted to probably won't like him either. So, it doesn't make a difference. Just go for the ones he finds cute.
The other thing is, it seems women are telling men to care less about looks.
I haven't really seen that women care about looks any less. If they were, I'd be rejected after the first to third date. Typically, I get rejected during the approach or 5 to 10 minutes of conversation.
Yeah just because you go after women who arent stereotypically good looking doesnt mean theyll say yes..
You dont have to find a partner you find repulsive. What happened to the ole scale of 1-10. The last two LTRs I was in the women started as 6.5s to 7s in my book and by the end of the relationships were 8.5 to nines and in my book there is no such thing as a 10. The first one ended up ditching me for a guy who made more money and the 2nd is lying here next to me. Thats how I know it wasnt just me its like all the sudden eveyones lookin at me goin damn bro how'd you luck into that. And like I said the one got away to a guy who made more money than i did. But i didnt mind because i knew finding a pretty woman was easy and the hard part is finding a women you can live with.
Why did they become 8s and 9s ? Because i treated them like 8s and 9s. In the beginning these women werent repulsive to me but they did have physical flaws that made my attraction to them kind of ho hum. From a physical standpoint landing them was easy because i knew they were physically attracted to me. So when we became friends treating them like a princess wasnt hard. Pretty women can lose confidence and self esteem and project posture and physical traits that are unattractive. Then someone comes along and if they are treated right they can and usually will blossom into the beauty they always were.
You always hear lower your standards if you keep getting rejected which is fair but at the same time as bad as iam in attracting women i could never be with someone iam not physically attracted to even slightly..
It wouldnt be fair to either of us imo..I doubt a women or man would want to hear or find out that somebodies with them becasue they were the only one who said yes to them and were only approached because better looking people who im attracted to rejected me so i tohguht you were blah loking enough that you might say yes..
Maybe other people can do that but i need some attraction physically for me to give somebody a chance..i just cant get aroused by someone i dont find attractive..
And before the inevitable posts about goign after only hot girls or super models its not the case at all..but i cant find somebody repulsive and want to date them..
The most beautiful gal can be the biggest barf bag if she is an evil soul.
Down right nasty, like a skunk in your truck.
Warm and loving any day for me.
It's a plus if she knows what she likes and comes and gets it.
Lot's of things can be sexy on a woman.
Her body, her face....the way she does her hair, the way she smells, the soft womanly skin.....etc...
What if you lower your standards and STILL get rejected? That will burn your soul
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