Is it normal to not want to know about your partners past? (date, women)
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I'm a big history fan so I of course enjoy knowing about the past whether it's about people, places, things or events. I know not everyone appreciates history so I don't expect everyone to understand why it's important to me.
When I date someone or enter into a relationship with someone I tend to ask a lot of questions about their past with the honest and simple intention of learning about them and what has made them who they are today. Of course I don't just sit there with a list and shoot off dozens of questions on the first date, that's just ridiculous. Over time, once the relationship moves forward, I like to sometimes ask questions about my partners past and for the most part she answers them although she sometimes answers as though she were being cross examined in court with short and brief answers. This especially applies to whenever any questions about her past sex lives comes up since I'm very curious to know what she's done, not done, wants to do etc. I don't probe much and if she answers in a vague way then I just leave it alone and assume she doesn't want to talk about it.
I, on the other hand, am an open book when it comes to my past (literally). She can ask me anything at all and I would be more than happy to give her all the details she wants but she doesn't. She's not big on history so she's not curious or inquisitive about my past at all. I tease her sometimes and tell her that I could have had a sex change when I was younger and she would never know because she never asked me anything or I could have had hundreds of Caligula style orgies back in the day but she wouldn't ever know. Her reasoning is that as long as the past doesn't affect the present or future why does it matter?
I think it does matter don't you? Wouldn't you like to know about your partners past?
I'm a big history fan so I of course enjoy knowing about the past whether it's about people, places, things or events. I know not everyone appreciates history so I don't expect everyone to understand why it's important to me.
When I date someone or enter into a relationship with someone I tend to ask a lot of questions about their past with the honest and simple intention of learning about them and what has made them who they are today. Of course I don't just sit there with a list and shoot off dozens of questions on the first date, that's just ridiculous. Over time, once the relationship moves forward, I like to sometimes ask questions about my partners past and for the most part she answers them although she sometimes answers as though she were being cross examined in court with short and brief answers. This especially applies to whenever any questions about her past sex lives comes up since I'm very curious to know what she's done, not done, wants to do etc. I don't probe much and if she answers in a vague way then I just leave it alone and assume she doesn't want to talk about it.
I, on the other hand, am an open book when it comes to my past (literally). She can ask me anything at all and I would be more than happy to give her all the details she wants but she doesn't. She's not big on history so she's not curious or inquisitive about my past at all. I tease her sometimes and tell her that I could have had a sex change when I was younger and she would never know because she never asked me anything or I could have had hundreds of Caligula style orgies back in the day but she wouldn't ever know. Her reasoning is that as long as the past doesn't affect the present or future why does it matter?
I think it does matter don't you? Wouldn't you like to know about your partners past?
Well according to another thread women don't care about their men, so they don't care about your past. Only if it has to do with their children. That must be it.
today we are the total sum of all out past experiences- some good, some bad
we've all been thru hell, and made bad decisions, the important thing is to learn from them
the person you meet today is not the person he/she was 5,10 15 years ago.
why live your life in the dark clouds of the rearview mirror??? look thru the bright windshield towards building a better life for the future.
ive seen couples use what they have learned from their partners past, against them- this is like teasing your kid in front of his/her friends that they wet the bed at a late age-- VERY DESTRUCTIVE!! manipulating and controlling.
sometimes, the great person you meet today is from learning from their past mistakes-this always gets overlooked
leave the past in the past ...dont be a control freak!!!
Last edited by mainebrokerman; 09-14-2013 at 05:45 AM..
I'm a big history fan so I of course enjoy knowing about the past whether it's about people, places, things or events. .....
When I date someone or enter into a relationship with someone I tend to ask a lot of questions about their past with the honest and simple intention of learning about them and what has made them who they are today. ...... Over time, once the relationship moves forward, I like to sometimes ask questions about my partners past and for the most part she answers them although she sometimes answers as though she were being cross examined in court with short and brief answers. This especially applies to whenever any questions about her past sex lives comes up since I'm very curious to know what she's done, not done, wants to do etc. I don't probe much and if she answers in a vague way then I just leave it alone and assume she doesn't want to talk about it. .....
I think it does matter don't you? Wouldn't you like to know about your partners past?
There are other things in a person's past that make a person who they are today. There are a lot of other questions you could ask about your partner's past other than what that person has done sexually with other partners. Hearing your partner talk about sex turns you on and you're a busy body. If you need to hear someone's sexual history, there are magazines you can read.
I do care about someone's past in general...life experiences are important. I don't need to know nitty gritty details of the interpersonal dynamics of previous relationships. I don't care about past sex life at all, unless it has created some health ramification that would affect me, obviously.
My past is worst than any woman I've ever been with so, it's pretty easy to deal with their past.
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