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For hundreds of years people have married in their late teens. Only in the last 50 years has the age of marriage crept up. It used to be common to marry your high school sweetheart at 18, as college became the norm that age went up to early to mid twenties. Today people are waiting into their 30s because they want an established career. Take into account the horrid economy of today and many people are not even economically stable by then, so many now say they choose not to marry at all. Years and years of bed hopping and promiscuity have been the product of this change in attitude. As the age of marriage has increased you can see out of wedlock births increased and divorce and broken homes have increased. People are not inherently to immature to marry at 18, that was a norm for many many years before our current era. What has changed is the values of Americans, we are now a decadent, selfish and promiscuous people. Our debauchery could rival ancient rome. This is why marriages fail today at such an alarming rate. I got married young and I don't regret it. I don't feel I missed out on anything. Advocating against marriage or against young marriage is in a sense advocating for a promiscuous society. I don't see how that is a good thing. Marriage and family is the foundation of society, without it everything unravels.
Maybe it should be raised to 20, at least then they're out of their teens. I'm turning 24 next month and personally, I want to wait until I'm near 30 for marriage and kids. Your 20s should be a decade of adventure and finding yourself-- Get an education, travel a bit, meet a bunch of people, and then settle down with that one person. I do feel that some people who get married very early partially do it because they don't want to miss that one chance and potentially be faced with the hardship of loneliness later on in life. I can't blame them, because it's like being in a casino and you win a decent sum of money on your first try or two. From there, your choices is to either cash out or keep going. In addition, fertility goes way down for women at 30, so that is something else to think about if you're the type who wants to have kids.
I've missed out on some potential love and marriage material and was in love with a girl over 3 years ago and at times I feel I should've cashed out myself, in retrospect, but I'm not quite ready to be an ''old man'' just yet. I must admit, it is getting harder by the year to find a girl who is my type and is single. Where I'm at in the Midwest, I know quite few of my classmates who have a kid, married, or are in a long-term relationship-- practically married.
Unfortunately, the bold part is a known phrase spewed on TV. It means the following - study a BS degree until you're 30, have sex with anything that you find sexually attractive, waste your money and act irresponsibly, stay out late at night each weekend and make sure that you're very into common vices (getting drunk, trying drugs, developing gambling addictions). This way you'll supposedly become prepared for the future and family life because you're tried it all and that experience would make you less likely to fail at life or destroy someone else's life if they end up with you.
Well, that's what the media will tell you.
But it should be a decade where you have finished your education, got into workforce and had a few years to establish yourself, met people and established business/friends contacts, earned some money and acted reasonably while preparing for future family.
There's one huge flaw right in the latter - because this lifestyle requires you to "dodge the bullet" that comes in a person who actually spent their years by following the TV version of "getting to know themselves" and will be taking fruits of your work while their life brings you lots of liabilities and potential troubles.
They should ideally stick with those folks who were "getting to know themselves as well", but you know, those types aren't the types for family life and that's they want a naive fool. This is why age of marriage doesn't matter as much as they want to show it on TV, what matters is the profiles/personalities of people who marry.
If age of marriage was the main problem itself, you wouldn't have people divorcing the most in their 40s, and it's this age group that usually makes the worst effect with divorce because the profile of divorced couple in their 40s generally involves children and a lot more assets (usually with lots of bank loans as well), while married folks in their 20s are often child-free and living in a rented apartment.
Even if you want to say that the main reason for divorces in 30s, 40s and 50s are mistakes in their past, think again. A huge number of divorced folks will remarry and previous divorce is even bigger predictor of future marriage failure.
And whats the harm in that? Ive lived with the same woman since 2003, and we have two beautiful children together. I call her my wife. I don't need a marriage license or a priest to solidify that for me.
Depending upon what state you live in, your not-legally-married wife may become/has become your common-law wife. Some states recognize common law marriages as binding contracts based on living together for a specified period of years. Also depending upon state law, common-law spouses can have as many spousal rights as legally married spouses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
The person's age has nothing to do with it. One hundred years ago, girls 13, 14, 15 years of age were getting married every single day and the divorce rate was much, much lower than it is today.
The problem with marriages today is that no one is willing to compromise. Everybody wants everything "their way" and often two people, especially two people who come from different backgrounds, do not want the exact same things out of life. So there is conflict, and ultimately, divorce.
I would much rather see a mandatory 6 months pre-marital counseling law put into place.
20yrsinBranson
Bigger factors in divorce today are the relative ease of obtaining one, the lack of stigma attached to divorce, and the economic independence of women. At one time, many states only allowed divorce for adultery (NYS was one of these), and it was considered scandalous, especially for women, to get one. Finally, because so many married women now have jobs/careers outside the home, they don't have to remain in miserable or abusive marriages for financial reasons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
You could bypass many laws when you look for. In this case,the legal age is still 18, but she got married at the age of 16 and had my bother a month later. She got parental concent. Truth be told she didn't want to get married to my father but back in those days a pregnant woman only had two options - Go away to Aunt Millies place and then put it up for adoption or get married. My mother could bare the thought of wondering where her child was all the time.
This remains a major reason for high divorce rates because couples who originally married because the woman was pregnant generally take some time to break up because they do try to make a marriage. This happens less today than even 30 years ago, but in some parts of the country, it remains a reason why people, especially younger people, get married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by danielj72
For hundreds of years people have married in their late teens. Only in the last 50 years has the age of marriage crept up. It used to be common to marry your high school sweetheart at 18, as college became the norm that age went up to early to mid twenties. Today people are waiting into their 30s because they want an established career. Take into account the horrid economy of today and many people are not even economically stable by then, so many now say they choose not to marry at all. Years and years of bed hopping and promiscuity have been the product of this change in attitude. As the age of marriage has increased you can see out of wedlock births increased and divorce and broken homes have increased. People are not inherently to immature to marry at 18, that was a norm for many many years before our current era. What has changed is the values of Americans, we are now a decadent, selfish and promiscuous people. Our debauchery could rival ancient rome. This is why marriages fail today at such an alarming rate. I got married young and I don't regret it. I don't feel I missed out on anything. Advocating against marriage or against young marriage is in a sense advocating for a promiscuous society. I don't see how that is a good thing. Marriage and family is the foundation of society, without it everything unravels.
Oh, what a stinking pile of bull manure! What has changed is the fact that women who are unhappy with their spouses for a variety of valid reasons from alcoholism to wife-beating have legal options to end their marriages that they didn't have in the past. They don't have to put up with their husband's drinking or his infidelities or his violence.
Only if we're ready to make 25 the age of majority for everything else -- drinking, smoking, signing contracts, getting loans and especially voting.
Personally, I think that's a little late. Some people never mature and others are very mature at 20. I wouldn't have wanted to be legally responsible for my kids until they were 25.
Only if we're ready to make 25 the age of majority for everything else -- drinking, smoking, signing contracts, getting loans and especially voting.
Personally, I think that's a little late. Some people never mature and others are very mature at 20. I wouldn't have wanted to be legally responsible for my kids until they were 25.
I know when it comes to getting financial aid for college where I go, you have to file as dependent if you're younger than 24, unless you're married or something.
While the accepted minimum age of majority is 18-21, certain institutions and fields don't really consider you a real or fully developed adult until you're mid 20s. When it comes to POTUS requirements, 35 is the minimum.
Last edited by Chicagoland60426; 09-16-2013 at 01:16 PM..
No me and my first wife got married we were 17. Did it last? Well not forever but it did last 11 years, we had a Good time and had 3 Sons.
Got remarried soon as I divorced her. We have been married 31 years, has it been all Good? Nope! Could we get divorced? Sure could but probably not.
brushrunner
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