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Yes, so using a woman's definition of approach, then I guess I am doing 10 approaches a day, 500+ approaches a year with near 99% rejection rate!
With a few exceptions, "what is considered an approach" is something that most men and women will not agree on. I hate to chalk things like this up to "we're wired differently", but I can't think of a better explanation. We simply think about some things differently. Without getting TOO off topic, look at the thread about what physical features women like about men. You'll see a lot of:
Man: What physical features do you like the most on men?
Women: I'm more drawn to personality/intellect/humor/etc than physical features.
Except for one problem: She didn't answer the question. It wasn't "are physical features the most important thing to you?" What she said is true, but it's still not an answer. It could just as easily have been:
Man: What's your favorite restaurant?
Woman: I prefer to eat at home than to go to restaurants.
Ok, that's great, but that wasn't the question. She's trying to convey a thought that, while true, doesn't provide an answer.
It's one of those little things about us that makes us different, and frustrates us at the same time...and it goes both ways. Guys will think "why don't women approach guys like guys approach women?"...and vice versa.
Suffice to say, you can express your frustration about gender differences with regard to initiating dates (I know I certainly do!), but don't expect them to change.
"Look I tried to talk to him and laughed at his jokes but he didn't ask for my number! Obviously he is not interested! Look another time I tried to be nice and got rejected!"
Why don't you ask for his number? It is the entire point I am getting at.
Because I walked up to him, broke the ice, started the conversation... how am I to know he's interested? Men (for the most part) are overwhelmingly nice and polite to women that walk up to them and start chit chatting. I've never once had a man say, "not interested" or "go away" or whatever it is men are rejected with. So the only way I know he's actually interested in me (and not just being polite) is if he follows my initiative and asks for a number or something like that. Him not asking is how he can reject (and still stay nice and polite).
Like I said before, women and men don't act the same. You can't expect a woman to walk up to a man and use a masculine approach. I know some do, but I think most women use a feminine/softer approach.
Last edited by jillabean; 04-03-2014 at 01:59 PM..
Reason: fixed typo
Because I walked up to him, broke the ice, started the conversation... how am I to know he's interested? Men (for the most part) are overwhelmingly nice and polite to women that walk up to them and start chit chatting. I've never once had a man say, "not interested" or "go away" or whatever it is men are rejected with. So the only way I know he's actually interested in me (and not just being polite) is if he follows my initiative and asks for a number or something like that. Him not asking is how he can reject (and still stay nice and polite).
Like I said before, women and men don't act the same. You can't expect a woman to walk up to a man and use a masculine approach. I know some do, but I think most women use a feminine/softer approach.
Well if he is interested in you, then he will go out on a date with you and continue going out with you.
If he is not interested in you or you are not interested in him, then you stop seeing each other after a few dates.
I don't see how this has anything to do with asking for a guys number.
Well if he is interested in you, then he will go out on a date with you and continue going out with you.
If he is not interested in you or you are not interested in him, then you stop seeing each other after a few dates.
I don't see how this has anything to do with asking for a guys number.
I figure he's interested if he wants to go out in the first place--which means he asks to exchange info so we can go out on a date. Like I said, I broke the ice, I approached, he's got to do something than just stand there to show me he's interested (or even available for that matter).
You can write it off as a quirk of mine, but I feel the man needs to do something to show his interest too--put some investment into things so to speak, whether it be a phone number, email, business card, what have you. If a man is really interested in a woman and she made the approach/broke the ice he's just not going to let her walk away from him.
How do you know if he is interested or not if you never ask for his number?
Turn it around... he knows she interested in him... she approached him. How does she know he's interested in her if he doesn't ask for her number. Up to that point, he's done NOTHING to show the least bit of interest up to that point. And her asking for his number just re-enforces she's interested in him (not that he's interested in her).
Because most men will ask for a woman's number if he is interested.
That is so true.
The reality is, most men pursue, most men will ask for a phone # whether they do the approaching or if the woman approaches. The fact that a small percentage of men don't like this is unfortunate for them.
How do you know if he is interested or not if you never ask for his number?
Because they ask for my number. What aren't you getting?
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