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So my wife and I have had many ups and downs over our almost 5 year marriage. Recently she has told me she wanted a divorce which has devastated me. I recently found out she might be into another guy as they have been talking a lot lately and I think she likes him. She has agreed to try counseling but I am just super paranoid and depressed all the time. Not sure what I can do to make this situation feel better.
So my wife and I have had many ups and downs over our almost 5 year marriage. Recently she has told me she wanted a divorce which has devastated me. I recently found out she might be into another guy as they have been talking a lot lately and I think she likes him. She has agreed to try counseling but I am just super paranoid and depressed all the time. Not sure what I can do to make this situation feel better.
We also have 2 kids together.
Apparently she is missing something. You have to find out what that 'something' is.
Romance, sex, hugs, your time, affection, words of endearment???
Work on that. You owe it to your kids.
The kids will suffer if you drop the ball.
I think she is filling in gaps wear you are lacking with this other guy. Assuming she has not physically cheated then you guys can make it.
If you know about him then she probably wants yo see if she's worth fighting for.
Apparently she is missing something. You have to find out what that 'something' is.
Romance, sex, hugs, your time, affection, words of endearment???
Work on that. You owe it to your kids.
The kids will suffer if you drop the ball.
I think she is filling in gaps wear you are lacking with this other guy. Assuming she has not physically cheated then you guys can make it.
If you know about him then she probably wants yo see if she's worth fighting for.
Do you love her ??
Tell her.
Assuming that its his fault for their crumbling relationship is a bit sexist. You also don't have all of the information from the OP. they have both probably made some foolish decisions throughout the course of their relationship. It's not just his responsibility to fix it.
Go to counseling since she has agreed to it and work on your marriage together. If she's sleeping with other people, I doubt it's repairable. If she's willing to work through it and communicate with you, I think you both have a good chance at making it. It's probably going to get a bit worse before it gets better.
I think the hardest part is deciding to fight for it or trying to move on. I guess I don't want to look stupid for trying to fight to keep it and she's already decided on leaving.
I think the hardest part is deciding to fight for it or trying to move on. I guess I don't want to look stupid for trying to fight to keep it and she's already decided on leaving.
She needs to understand that leaving before attempting counseling is going to be extremely damaging to the children, and their needs should be put first. You're not "stupid" for fighting to mend your relationship but she's really stupid and self-centered to decide to up and leave before making the same effort. Make an appointment with a reputable counselor NOW and ask her to hold off her moving plans until you've at least had an initial consultation. That's not too much to ask. Good luck.
So my wife and I have had many ups and downs over our almost 5 year marriage. Recently she has told me she wanted a divorce which has devastated me. I recently found out she might be into another guy as they have been talking a lot lately and I think she likes him. She has agreed to try counseling but I am just super paranoid and depressed all the time. Not sure what I can do to make this situation feel better.
We also have 2 kids together.
OP, google "talk about marriage" and go to the forum with the same name an post their. they will be much more helpful since that marriage and divorce is their focus. it was very helpful to me when i went through your experience a while ago. good luck, and prayer does helps.
I think the hardest part is deciding to fight for it or trying to move on. I guess I don't want to look stupid for trying to fight to keep it and she's already decided on leaving.
Don't overthink it. If there is something to fight for, you fight for it regardless of how you think it may make you look. The part I don't understand is that you said she asked for a divorce and then agreed to go to counseling. They seem to be polar opposites. Why go to counseling if you want a divorce? Also, this other guy has to be gone. If she wants to work on your marriage, then he has to be out of the picture. If she is reluctant to do that, then you know where she stands.
The hard part of giving advice on line is that none of us know the whole story. We typically side with the OP unless it just is pretty obvious that he or she is a complete basketcase. You need to look at the whole picture and decide if there is anything worth fighting for and what part you may have had in her coming to this decision.
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