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One thing to keep in mind is that testing does not tell you someone's STD status on the day they were tested.
For example, the blood test for herpes is extremely accurate, but it can take up to 4 months for a new exposure to show up. So if your new love had sex with someone 3.5 months age (or if you did), then the test doesn't tell you much. If it's positive, it's positive -- but if it's negative you still have to retest in a few weeks.
This is true for every kind of STD. The times vary -- I think HIV is down to 2 weeks or something now -- but it is never about today, the day of the test. HPV is 3 months, IIRC.
An all-clear STD panel only tells you that the person was clear 4 months ago. It doesn't tell you whether you can catch something from them now.
So, I think the answer is you use condoms until you feel sure that this person will be honest with you about their past sexual history. It might be good to wait until you are past the initial madly-in-love phase, usually about 6 months, so your judgement will be more clear.
Another thing to consider is that HIV is the only kind of STD that you can't get orally. (Well, you can, but the risk is insanely low.) All the others, you gotta think about mouth contact and kissing, too.
There's a generational aspect to condom use: I used to hang out on a sex-advice site, and I was surprised at how many 20 somethings, male and female, said they had never had sex without a condom and didn't want to. They thought it sounded kind of icky.
Me, I am so old that I remember when condoms were rare, and were only for birth control, not STD prevention. And they were considered pretty ineffective birth control, is why no-one used them. Those numbers have since been revised.
that you stop using protection? or suggest to your partner that you have sex without a condom? or do you just hit it raw from the start, and take a chance?
Personally, I cant stand condoms, but I'm not about to risk my health. I need some type of conformation that she has been checked for any sexual pathogens before the gloves comes off (i.e. recent STD test) Ill go as far as pay for the testing myself (I definitely wont take her word for it) we can even take the test together; which usually happens when I get seriously involved.
Women: please give your thoughts on this as well!
after we do oral without it and do the mutual assurance talk. and i'm totally with you, i've never been able to get a pop with one. but i enjoy it nonetheless. i am also cool with getting tested before hand if that's what it takes.
after we do oral without it and do the mutual assurance talk. and i'm totally with you, i've never been able to get a pop with one. but i enjoy it nonetheless. i am also cool with getting tested before hand if that's what it takes.
is there any man who actually LIKES being sheathed? Seriously, I've never known one!
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