Should I ask my professor out on a date - if so, how?

[Slanderous]

Originally Posted by Joke Insurance

So you're basing his entire personality on one thread.

What's the matter with you?

I said what he showed in that thread (not his "entire personality") and all we have to go on is what's written on here.

Nothing's the matter with me. Just calling it like I see it.

[nokiddin]

Originally Posted by Slanderous

I said what he showed in that thread (not his "entire personality") and all we have to go on is what's written on here.

Nothing's the matter with me. Just calling it like I see it.

yup, but it's just an opinion, like all the others here. doesn't make you anymore insightful than others, just makes you appear judgmental.

i've learned to appreciate online alter-egos. in fact, this is mine and if you ever met me you wouldn't connect the two. ppl are tremendously complex, which includes having shortcomings and their unique individual perspectives, and maturity level. i am not the same person i was 20years ago.

[Slanderous]

Originally Posted by nokiddin

yup, but it's just an opinion, like all the others here. doesn't make you anymore insightful than others, just makes you appear judgmental.

Ok. I'm not claiming to be anymore insightful than anyone else. That's just my opinion. I'm sure if the professor read that thread she might have second thoughts.

[nokiddin]

yeah, i'm sure. anonymity is odd. and we all have our dark parts. most ppl here on CDR who are familiar with my posts would be shocked to know that i've been a practicing christian for about 25 adult years now. no doubt i'm a sinner, but also very human. even in a completely committed relationship, 100% honesty is risky.

[brejierdiva]

Originally Posted by Chemistry_Guy

I am a professor that has dozens of former students as friends on facebook and I occasionally meet them outside of an academic environment but that does not mean I have any interest in them romantically. Usually, when they ask me to get coffee they want career advice, recommendation letters or to ask me to give a seminar or something, although there are a few that have just become friends. This past summer I played softball in an alumni league with a bunch of former students and even went out to the bars with them after the game.

When I got divorced I had several former students ask me out. In two cases they were somewhat respectful, I politely declined, and we can still talk without awkwardness. In the other case, she invited me out to lunch under the pretense that she needed career advice, faked forgetting her laptop which she conveniently left in her apartment which was a block away, then surprised with me with an aggressive sexual advance while I was waiting just inside her door. It was incredibly uncomfortable and I think that she is now afraid to talk to me.

My advice: if you value her as a mentor or a professional reference, you better make sure you are reading all signals correctly before trying anything, as an awkward moment can really burn a bridge.

I have the similar issue, but I am the student and I care about my professor a lot. I have fell for him since when I became a student in his class last year. Ever since then, I can not stop thinking about him. He is always on my mind from sun up to sun down and I understand that it is unethical and immoral to date your professor. He does not know at all and I have been keeping these feelings within my myself for a while. It is really eating me up and I would like to approach him after I graduate. Since you are a professor, what would you do if an attractive former student approaches you after graduation?