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You seem to be under the impression that many women are not rude to men who are trying to pick them up. That is far, far, faaaar from the truth.
But we're not talking about her being hit on by a random guy in a bar. We're talking about an initial meeting between two people who've already communicated through an online dating site and who have hit it off well enough to want to meet in person. And if you haven't noticed, there have been at least a dozen stories from women who showed up to meet a guy who wasn't as advertised, but who had a drink and a conversation anyway.
I, a fierce Gen-Yer put this OP on my Facebook status, and my other millennial friends were quick to call the OP out for his lack of decency. A major dissenter from the others was from Generation X.
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Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Good parenting skills teach you how to react to a bad situation while conducting yourself with class and dignity. If I would have conducted myself like the OP and my old-school mama found out, she'd be on the first plane to Virginia with her belt, she would focus on the fact I conducted myself like an a-hole irrelevant of what the girl did.
Can't rep you on these, or I would. I'm pretty sure my sister would have my Millennial nephews' heads on a platter if they treated someone the way the OP treated that woman. Doesn't hurt that my nephews have sisters, and would probably rip a guy's head off if he was such a douche to them.
I'm late here but wanted to chime in. About 10 years ago I went on a date and the girl was MUCH larger than the pictures. I sucked it up, had dinner with her, paid the bill, and went on my way. All I could really do was chalk up a loss. Talking to her wasn't bad, but I simply had no attraction and was disappointed because I felt deceived.
Anytime I've done online dating, I've always included a recent full body shot to remove the element of surprise.
I am a 50-year old happily married woman and I'll give you my point of view. I think maybe what you said was a little harsh, but I don't blame you for wanting to cut your losses and move on. If she really misrepresented herself physically to you and there was no attraction, why lead her on?
And to to those who say that you should've gone on with the date anyway, why do this? If I were the woman I would want to know right away and not go on the date where I might possibly like the guy even more afterwards, and then never hear from him again. I would figure he didn't like me, the person who I am, after he got to know me, which would upset me far worse than being told up front that he was leaving because I appeared differently than I represented myself in pictures.
Well it's a sensitive area. Maybe I was too nice. I wouldn't want to look at her, tell her my quick opinion, and then just leave. I was new to the city I'm in now and still had a lot of energy to exert on the dating front
I guess it's asking too much for people to have some class these days. I mean, the person did take time out of their day to get ready for and travel to the date to see...you. What's an hour of your time?
I'm sure the OP and the people who agree with them wouldn't like being stood up.
no the fact that women are taking a bigger chance meeting someone off the internet than men do in no way shape or form excuses tricking someone with bs pics into meeting you.
in fact if anything if she's so worried about her safety why is she sending out pics that show her in much better shape? after all now more guys will want to meet her,that's more risks she has to take.
if you wanna play the safety angle to justify her bs then it would be safer to send accurate pics.
Yet another person on this thread who can't read. Show me where I said her risking her safety justifies her dishonesty. I never said that. One has nothing to do with the other. The point I was making, which apparently went right over your head, is that given that she was willing to risk her safety by meeting this guy, the least he could've done was stuck around for a few minutes to talk and maybe ask why she posted an older photo. But the OP couldn't even bother to do that. Apparently, he thinks nothing of the fact that this woman risked her own safety to come out and meet him.
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Originally Posted by bxlefty23
he didn't walk up to some random woman and tell her she's ugly, fat etc.he didn't even get a message from someone he thought was unattractive and insult her.he got bait and switched, understandably was mad and didnt waste more of his time with the charade of going through the date.
if while in the bar a woman tried to hit on him and he told her she was unattractive and left or if he did that on a blind date with a woman who never sent him pics then i would think he was a dbag.
if I lied to a woman about by height, showed her bs pics etc and she saw me and just left I would not blame her one bit.
Actually, he did tell her she was unattractive, not with words, but by his actions. Looking someone up and down and then leaving? That sends a pretty clear message what you think of the person. As for the scenario you described where you lied and the woman saw you and walked out, yes you absolutely would take issue with that. Why? Well start by asking yourself why you pave posted fake pics in the first place. Answer? Because you were afraid of rejection. But you know that the truth will come out when you meet? So why do you agree to meet anyways? Answer. Because you're hoping she'll still give you a chance.
I gave her one glance up and down and told her this won't work out, then left the bar. She did text me later, but I was done with her. Whats the protocol in these situations.
There is none. You did her a BIG favor ending it right then and there...she probably doesn't know how lucky she was.
If you look them up and down like a piece of meat, that's classless. If you can't stick around long enough to even ask why they lied, that's classless. If you can't give them an opportunity to explain why they lied, that's classless.
There's no excuse to lie except to deceive. In the case of the married man he happened to mention it right away so I told him I'm not interested in seeing him and I left. I don't need to make an excuse to this piece of garbage person.
The decent thing is to not lie in your pics or profile. Not my fault that her profile was not representative of her at all. People who lie don't deserve respect or decency. If you went to a job interview and they lied on their ad to the point where it was a completely different job, you would be pissed, rightfully so. You don't treat insecure liars with special respect that they don't deserve.
Capitol. Have you ever lied to someone? If your answer is no, even without knowing you, I know that's a lie. Most people have lied at least once in their lives. I guess that means most of us, including you, don't deserve respect nor decency. Since that's the case, she didn't need to respect your wishes for wanting a thinner woman. See how that "lying" excuse won't work in your (and others) argument?
OP, be honest. If the woman was more beautiful than her pics, you wouldn't have walked out. Same goes for the women siding with the OP: if you expected your date to be 5'11" and he turned out to be 6'2", you'd probably say, "Oooohhh...you're a lot TALLER than I expected."
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Yet another person on this thread who can't read. Show me where I said her risking her safety justifies her dishonesty. I never said that. One has nothing to do with the other. The point I was making, which apparently went right over your head, is that given that she was willing to risk her safety by meeting this guy, the least he could've done was stuck around for a few minutes to talk and maybe ask why she posted an older photo. But the OP couldn't even bother to do that. Apparently, he thinks nothing of the fact that this woman risked her own safety to come out and meet him.
