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Old 11-16-2007, 08:45 PM
 
20 posts, read 186,503 times
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Ok... here's the story. I decided on my OWN to quit smoking and actually started the quitting process before even telling the absolutely wonderful non-smoker that I am seeing. Two weeks in, I told him I was GOING to quit, not that I had... honestly in the event of a setback. He got wonderfully overjoyed and told me that he was actually having a hard time with the fact that I was a smoker...almost didn't even want to date me because of it. LOVELY, just put the pressure on then! So, I've done fairly well in the last 2 months, but slipped here and there. Guy's great, doesn't speech me or anything, just looks at me when he smells it and says "you smoked" and changes the subject. This makes me feel SO low for the breaking and smoking a cig. I can handle most of the want to smoke triggers, but occasionally I get way too stupid and think that just one won't hurt. I want your help. Non-smokers especially... tell me all the loathsome things about dating someone who smokes, I'm not changing for him but if in some way I can use that disgust that he may see in my smoking (and that he won't share with me cause he's just good like that) to help me quit, then it is a justifiable means to a good end. So butcher the smokers you've dated or thought about dating for me! LOL... I'm asking for it I know! Please and thanks!
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:10 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,065,026 times
Reputation: 18068
I dated a smoker once, and will never again. Kissing him was like kissing an ashtray. Food tastes better after you quit smoking. Also, longtime smokers have lines on their faces from dragging on a cigarette. Smoke a cigarette in front of a mirror and see how your face moves and wrinkles up. I also feel that the smoke affects your facial skin and ages it prematurely.

Cigarettes cost money. Think of all the money you will save by not buying them. You will be a better and more productive worker if you don't feel the need to take smoking breaks. Maybe you will get raises faster if you are a non-smoker. Some house insurance policies are cheaper if only non-smokers live in the house. Your health will be better in the long run if you quit. Your lungs in particular will be happier.

http://www.vitamins-nutrition-good-health-info.com/images/lungs2.jpg (broken link)
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:14 PM
 
20 posts, read 186,503 times
Reputation: 20
Thank you miu! Appreciate! I don't smoke inside and again limited to very rarely giving in to the nasty temptation on it, so the mirror thing... not likely to try. But... I do so notice the food thing... smells too... it's like suddenly you start to smell things! LOL
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,520 posts, read 8,741,399 times
Reputation: 11356
Question Just checking....

Are you certain you want the negative stuff? LOL, can't believe how PC I've become...had a post written, but am shy about actually posting it, 'cause I don't want to offend anyone else who might be reading this....(and thousands do, you know...)



OK.....miu, you took my post....no kidding, both the saying and the picture....mmmm, miu, do I know you from another site? A weather page?

Last edited by Macrina; 11-16-2007 at 09:26 PM.. Reason: added...
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:21 PM
 
20 posts, read 186,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macrina View Post
Are you certain you want the negative stuff? LOL, can't believe how PC I've become...had a post written, but am shy about actually posting it, 'cause I don't want to offend anyone else who might be reading this....(and thousands do, you know...)
Give it to me, yes I want it! If it does offend someone else maybe it could help them too... I've asked for negative, that was the point... and lately bashing smokers is becoming more and more PC
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:25 PM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,264,910 times
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I quit smoking almost exactly 4 years ago. Most think it was motivated by the birth of my daughter a month before and think "awwww, how sweet", but I'm a straight-forward honest guy and just tell them that it really had NOTHING to do with it (okay, maybe it inspired another attempt, but bottom line is that I'd been trying for years to quit).

Anyway, I had a girlfriend in college that abhored it. My wife hated it for the most part. There was no TRUE exterior motivation to quit because I just did smoke. That was kinda that and I'd quit when I could.

Bottom line, I doubt anyone here telling you what's so nasty about smoking is really going to be what makes it work for you. You can find enough people out there that smoke right along side of you to seek your acceptance from (subconsciously) that it doesn't matter.......

Now, are you serious about quitting??? It involves WAY more than you think and THAT is why people fail 99% of the time...... I had to figure it out on my own......

The physical addiction is NOT the problem. If it were that simple the success rate would be much higher. It's the HABIT.

Now smokers trying to quit don't really soak that word in when they try to quit. "HABIT" ............ Think about it. It sounds like an innocent enough word and pretty easy to re-train. You know why??? IT'S WORSE THAN THAT. IT'S WORSE THAN ANY "HABIT" YOU'VE EVER KNOWN because it's beyond a "habit", it's a LIFESTYLE.

Think about it. You tend to hang with people who smoke at gatherings, at bars, etc.... If for no other reason than society has thrust you together. Every time you go out to smoke you're gaining acceptance from those around you. Beyond that when you're at home you have a pattern. For me it was: On the phone??? Have a cigarette. Wanna chill??? Go out on the porch and have a cigarette.

I had my routine and so does EVERY smoker.....

So how do you quit??? You have to ALTER THE LIFESTYLE. I used the Committ Lozenges and to be quite honest I don't really think they helped as they were intended to. I still craved cigarettes but was scared to smoke one because I thought I'd have a coronary from the nicotine overload. On top of that the things burned my throat which isn't exactly conducive to smoking either...... All in all I probably could have succeeded without them, but they served a purpose........... A SUBSTITUTE.

Now, most people will tell you AVOID THE BAR or any other place you smoke like a fiend.... Well I personally after 4 days decided I was going to go to the damn bar and face it like a man who meant it. If I was going to fail, let it be after 4 days and NOT 4 weeks or 4 months because I'd avoided my worst temptations....... Well, I made it through that. It sucked, but as I went back it got easier.

At home I stopped going out on the porch all-together which stunk, but it's what I had to do...... THAT is where I smoked and I couldn't imagine a purpose to be out there if I wasnt' going to smoke so I simply didn't go out there......

The hardest thing about it all is you TRULY lose yourself in the process, but that is what you are TRYING to do!!! Re-create who YOU is......

Once you understand what is in front of you I think you'll be better able to face it and when you TRULY make the commitment to quit that understanding will guide you on how to confront it and defeat it. It's not easy, but I am TRULY one of those who can honestly say, with my addictive personality, if I can do it ANYONE can...

Good luck.
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,520 posts, read 8,741,399 times
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Anything I can say will be small stuff after Fury's post but I do agree so much about the Habit part.

The physiological addiction to nicotine is broken at 72 hours....and this is part of why it's such a set-back every time you light up. Why do that to yourself? You seem like an intelligent person...
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:38 PM
 
20 posts, read 186,503 times
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Thank you VAFury... really! I have altered my routine and the things that trigger the smoke craving... I've been to bars without a cig, and honestly didn't want one and didn't really feel the need -- went with non-smokers so even though others were smoking that made it easier. I really feel like I'm over the largest hump, but have just the last and final problem with rare (by that I mean MAYBE once every week or two) occasional cravings. I have a whole new set of friends all of which are non-smokers that I spent most of my out of work time with and they are all mostly coworkers as well that support my need to leave my desk by letting me invade their workspace for 5 minutes every once in a while to replace the go outside urge. Truthfully, I do need one last and final push... I'm having a time finding that little motivator to squelch the "one won't hurt" complex - something that I can think of that will prevent the once every week or two light up. Everyone that I talk to that I know says I'm doing good and it just takes time not to stress over that "minor a setback" but to me this is not acceptable... I WANT to quit completely. So I'm trying to use the BF as a motivator in this last piece, but he's so nice he won't be brutal with me about it. And yes, I think if I saw it through his eyes, it would help.
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:54 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 4,378,770 times
Reputation: 692
I used to smoke when I was younger. In my late 20s I smoke occasionally off and on, and I really quit for good when I was around 32. And then I would smoke a cigarette here and there but only when I was drinking. Since I stopped drinking a year ago, I never even think about cigarettes anymore at all ever.

I would never date a smoker and by that I mean someone who is addicted to cigarettes and smokes regularly. I don't like the smell and I don't like what it does to people. My girlfriend who is my age smokes and she looks terrible. Her skin just looks bad and unhealthy. My father smoked and then had a triple bypass. I can't stand that smokers cough. Oh, and it ruins the teeth. People who smoke utimately have so much dental problems. No, I'd never date a smoker.

Oh, and my other girlfriend who smokes --- breast cancer.

greenie
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:55 PM
 
20 posts, read 186,503 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macrina View Post
Why do that to yourself? You seem like an intelligent person...
Thank you! Unfortunately it would seem that intelligence doesn't help a whole lot when it comes to smoking... and the worst part is, (most smokers will not admit this) no amount of health info or intelligence digs works... we quickly become immune to it. You hear it so much that it becomes folly -- which I suppose can be construed as lack of intelligence, but is actually societally induced desensitization. But no one actually says much about the social aspects for fear of offending... THAT is also why I ask for such, it is newer to the ears than the health risks. Silly, nonsensical, and completely moronic, but it is a truth to which I must admit -- at least in my case and the other smokers I've been around.
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