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Men don't show their emotions because it is frowned upon by both men AND women. Men who are emotional are routinely ignored by women, who seek a man who can be their rock, not their girlfriend. They are seen as weak and rightfully so, by men whom they are supposed to compete with. To pretend that this isn't true, is either clueless or intellectually dishonest.
This is so last millennium! This may be true in your world, but other sectors of the US have moved on, and have liberated themselves from antiquated straight-jackets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReturnOfTheMack2017;
Men do not use women any more for sex, than women use men for resources that they can take from them, short or long term.
This is scary. Apparently in your world, women don't have resources, so they scheme to "hook a man" and to steal his resources. Chilling. And very last millennium!
Ruth you can keep saying "last millennium" all you want but it doesn't make your wacko ideas any more accurate. Emotional guys are seen as womanly and that will never change no matter how much the social justice warrior generation wants it to change. Strong is strong and weak is weak and never the two shall mix.
As for girls, yes they are mostly naive about guy friends but most by the time they are 30 hopefully aren't this dense. It's usually a young girl thing. My GF was the same way and she was very young when we started dating. I explained this all to her over and over but it took actual examples sometimes for her to learn. We both don't have any opposite gender friends and that's not allowed in our relationship. Neither of us have any interest. She knows me anyway, I really don't like girls in a general sense. It's not a respect thing, I have immense respect for women and my top employee is an amazing woman. I also idolize many women in many industries. But bottom line as people we usually have almost nothing in common. I love video games, action / violent movies, hate kids, hate dancing, etc. The list goes on and on and the first girl I even liked at all was my girlfriend. Take away the "relationship stuff" entirely and she's just an awesome person. But with most girls, I could think she's sweet, intelligent, and hard working but we just never had anything in common. I just fundamentally don't "get" most girls. So why would I be friends with them?
As for my GF, she figured out that guys just want in your pants. I have zero tolerance for a guy friend situation. I would never allow that with a girl I am dating but since this is my girl for life I don't need to worry about it. Once we got to that point it not only made our relationship awesome and a lot less stress but now we both laugh at couples who each pretend "it's ok" even though they are both clearly not ok with it.
Ruth you can keep saying "last millennium" all you want but it doesn't make your wacko ideas any more accurate. Emotional guys are seen as womanly and that will never change no matter how much the social justice warrior generation wants it to change. Strong is strong and weak is weak and never the two shall mix.
As for girls, yes they are mostly naive about guy friends but most by the time they are 30 hopefully aren't this dense. It's usually a young girl thing. My GF was the same way and she was very young when we started dating. I explained this all to her over and over but it took actual examples sometimes for her to learn. We both don't have any opposite gender friends and that's not allowed in our relationship. Neither of us have any interest. She knows me anyway, I really don't like girls in a general sense. It's not a respect thing, I have immense respect for women and my top employee is an amazing woman. I also idolize many women in many industries. But bottom line as people we usually have almost nothing in common. I love video games, action / violent movies, hate kids, hate dancing, etc. The list goes on and on and the first girl I even liked at all was my girlfriend. Take away the "relationship stuff" entirely and she's just an awesome person. But with most girls, I could think she's sweet, intelligent, and hard working but we just never had anything in common. I just fundamentally don't "get" most girls. So why would I be friends with them?
As for my GF, she figured out that guys just want in your pants. I have zero tolerance for a guy friend situation. I would never allow that with a girl I am dating but since this is my girl for life I don't need to worry about it. Once we got to that point it not only made our relationship awesome and a lot less stress but now we both laugh at couples who each pretend "it's ok" even though they are both clearly not ok with it.
Aside from initially taking a gentle swipe at Ruth, whose posts I haven't studied, so I don't know if the swiping is merited, you seemed to have put a lot of thought into what you were saying, and how you saw things.
The mention that opposite gender friends "are not allowed in our relationship", raised a pale red flag, but you got back to interesting observations, so I thought that perhaps I'd misjudged you, then you went on to say that "you have zero tolerance for your girl to have a guy friend, and you'd never allow that with a girl you were dating", whoa, hold the phone.
Perhaps you're not as worldly wise as I first thought you were, or maybe that you feel that you are.
Ruth you can keep saying "last millennium" all you want but it doesn't make your wacko ideas any more accurate. Emotional guys are seen as womanly and that will never change no matter how much the social justice warrior generation wants it to change. Strong is strong and weak is weak and never the two shall mix.
Eh, I'd say it's about 50-50, but moreso agree with Ruth. I think guys are encouraged more nowadays to show their feelings, and not just always hide them. All girls (in their 20's) I've been on dates with agree with this, and that guys should feel alright with showing their feelings, and not just bottling it all at once till they explode.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
Once we got to that point it not only made our relationship awesome and a lot less stress but now we both laugh at couples who each pretend "it's ok" even though they are both clearly not ok with it.
Haha, speak for yourself.
Not everyone is as insecure as you and your girlfriend. However, if it works for you and your girlfriend, then good for both of you.
Last edited by NewYorker11356; 08-18-2017 at 11:09 AM..
Wow, JonathanLB. Well hey, good on ya for finding somebody who could live with your terms I guess. I could never be happy with someone like you. Your mind and your world, are way too small, narrow, and rigid. Like you're living in a cartoon, a caricature of gender stereotypes.
Men I know who make a big show of being "strong" and never "weak" like you describe, are usually putting up a pathetic front to hide a lot of insecurity and emotional baggage. Human is human. No one is strong or weak all the time. And there are places in this world for the weak as well as the strong. At the end of the day, it's the happiest, most genuine person, not the strongest one, who wins. The ones who act like they've got to be strong all the time...regardless of what's in their pants...they're hiding from reality, and it's gonna catch up with 'em. And those who are TRULY the strongest, don't have to posture and control others to prove it, and don't feel constantly under threat by people around them, in my opinion.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol
Do they really believe their male "friends" truly see them as friends and don't want to have sex with them? Are they oblivious about their friends intentions? Or do they know but look the other way? I mean a young attractive 20's girl has to know that 99% of her male friends would have sex with her if they got the chance.
There is a difference in not turning down sex if a friend offers it and having the friendship SOLELY for the hope of coaxing them into bed. I belong to the former and think the latter is scummy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
Ruth you can keep saying "last millennium" all you want but it doesn't make your wacko ideas any more accurate. Emotional guys are seen as womanly and that will never change no matter how much the social justice warrior generation wants it to change. Strong is strong and weak is weak and never the two shall mix.
As for girls, yes they are mostly naive about guy friends but most by the time they are 30 hopefully aren't this dense. It's usually a young girl thing. My GF was the same way and she was very young when we started dating. I explained this all to her over and over but it took actual examples sometimes for her to learn. We both don't have any opposite gender friends and that's not allowed in our relationship. Neither of us have any interest. She knows me anyway, I really don't like girls in a general sense. It's not a respect thing, I have immense respect for women and my top employee is an amazing woman. I also idolize many women in many industries. But bottom line as people we usually have almost nothing in common. I love video games, action / violent movies, hate kids, hate dancing, etc. The list goes on and on and the first girl I even liked at all was my girlfriend. Take away the "relationship stuff" entirely and she's just an awesome person. But with most girls, I could think she's sweet, intelligent, and hard working but we just never had anything in common. I just fundamentally don't "get" most girls. So why would I be friends with them?
As for my GF, she figured out that guys just want in your pants. I have zero tolerance for a guy friend situation. I would never allow that with a girl I am dating but since this is my girl for life I don't need to worry about it. Once we got to that point it not only made our relationship awesome and a lot less stress but now we both laugh at couples who each pretend "it's ok" even though they are both clearly not ok with it.
Don't know where you are where this thinking rules or makes sense but thank God I'm not There!
Ruth you can keep saying "last millennium" all you want but it doesn't make your wacko ideas any more accurate. Emotional guys are seen as womanly and that will never change no matter how much the social justice warrior generation wants it to change. Strong is strong and weak is weak and never the two shall mix.
As for girls, yes they are mostly naive about guy friends but most by the time they are 30 hopefully aren't this dense. It's usually a young girl thing. My GF was the same way and she was very young when we started dating. I explained this all to her over and over but it took actual examples sometimes for her to learn. We both don't have any opposite gender friends and that's not allowed in our relationship. Neither of us have any interest. She knows me anyway, I really don't like girls in a general sense. It's not a respect thing, I have immense respect for women and my top employee is an amazing woman. I also idolize many women in many industries. But bottom line as people we usually have almost nothing in common. I love video games, action / violent movies, hate kids, hate dancing, etc. The list goes on and on and the first girl I even liked at all was my girlfriend. Take away the "relationship stuff" entirely and she's just an awesome person. But with most girls, I could think she's sweet, intelligent, and hard working but we just never had anything in common. I just fundamentally don't "get" most girls. So why would I be friends with them?
As for my GF, she figured out that guys just want in your pants. I have zero tolerance for a guy friend situation. I would never allow that with a girl I am dating but since this is my girl for life I don't need to worry about it. Once we got to that point it not only made our relationship awesome and a lot less stress but now we both laugh at couples who each pretend "it's ok" even though they are both clearly not ok with it.
Of course you couldn't conceive of being friends with women, since your interests tend to be clash with the interests of the general mainstream of womankind. Though there are definitely women out there who hate kids, and aren't much into dancing. It sounds like you found one, though, so good for you, for finding a good fit! But just because you feel you have nothing in common with most women, doesn't mean most men are like you. Humanity is diverse. I'm constantly surprised on this forum as to how many people don't get this. Many men do share common interests with women. And bear in mind that many women don't fit your stereotype of what women are interested in. You're thinking too formulaically. It's a big, wide world out there, full of all kinds of people.
I always find it interesting when men say women are the emotional ones, and guys aren't "emotional". Somehow, they don't categorize anger as an emotion. The men who claim to not be emotional are usually the most emotional, compared to women, but they seem to feel it's ok to yell or rage, as if that's not "being emotional".
But the other point is that why should men be required to suck up their more tender emotions, and put on a front? Why shouldn't they cry when a beloved pet dies, or a parent, or child? Someone who has learned to suppress love, tenderness and sadness is suppressing their humanity. That's scary. Many women prefer to be with emotionally well-rounded humans, not repressed automatons. No wonder some men rage! After keeping everything bottled up for years, decades, rage is their only outlet. .
Also, I have met many men who think that if they feel something they are entitled to act upon it.
Examples:
A man who says he cheated because his feelings of lust overwhelmed him, and he couldn't help it.
A man who gets into a fight and says it wasn't his fault because someone made him angry.
I think that these are men who don't know how to deal with their emotions in honest and healthy ways, personally. Everyone has emotions. Some people are just better than others at controlling the words and actions they undertake regardless of said emotions.
Also, I have met many men who think that if they feel something they are entitled to act upon it.
Examples:
A man who says he cheated because his feelings of lust overwhelmed him, and he couldn't help it.
A man who gets into a fight and says it wasn't his fault because someone made him angry.
I think that these are men who don't know how to deal with their emotions in honest and healthy ways, personally. Everyone has emotions. Some people are just better than others at controlling the words and actions they undertake regardless of said emotions.
Right. No sense of responsibility for their own actions. Why get a grip, when you can blame someone else? These are the type that will blame a bratty child, even their own child, for "setting them off". Really? You're "set off" by a child? You're the adult in the equation. Why are you triggered by a kid being a kid?
I never really thought about it as entitlement, exactly, but I guess you're right.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-18-2017 at 01:31 PM..
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