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View Poll Results: Do you agree with this saying?
Yes 29 55.77%
No 14 26.92%
Not sure 9 17.31%
Voters: 52. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-29-2013, 08:55 AM
 
Location: not where you are
8,134 posts, read 7,637,849 times
Reputation: 6931

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For myself, yes. I never have to wonder, I am better for the experience, likely because it was a great one in spite of having gone separate ways. In the end, I haven't any delusions about love the good and the bad of it.
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Old 09-29-2013, 09:43 AM
 
1,943 posts, read 1,335,073 times
Reputation: 3327
At the time of heartbreak, no WAY! But as time heals most wounds and if you hopefully find someone else, then yes, it's better to have loved than never loved at all.
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Old 09-29-2013, 09:53 AM
 
624 posts, read 782,227 times
Reputation: 975
Depends on the person. Some people suffer so much damage from a loss that they are fundamentally changed in negative ways that affect other facets of their lives. Critical loss of confidence, trust, self-image, etc.

Other people only grow from the experience...the relationship, the lessons of the loss, whatever, and are better for it.

People are too different for such a broad generalization. Sounds romantic, though.
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,015 posts, read 4,188,937 times
Reputation: 5339
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slithytoves View Post
Depends on the person. Some people suffer so much damage from a loss that they are fundamentally changed in negative ways that affect other facets of their lives. Critical loss of confidence, trust, self-image, etc.

Other people only grow from the experience...the relationship, the lessons of the loss, whatever, and are better for it.

People are too different for such a broad generalization. Sounds romantic, though.

This is exactly why this is a question. Otherwise, I think all most everybody would pick yes. I have suffered from heartache just as much or more than then next guy. However, knowing how all consuming, all powerful love is and can be, I am grateful that I have and do experience it. It's something that you could never fully explain to someone who hasn't felt it. It's one of those things that you can't learn vicariously. You have to totally experience for yourself. And as hurtful as some of those heartaches were, I wouldn't change them for the world.
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:21 AM
 
17,867 posts, read 17,772,214 times
Reputation: 13799
This has been asked on this forum multiple times, I don't necessarily agree with it, but I don't always disagree with it, so I'll vote "not sure" because sometimes my mood shifts.
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Buenos Aires
331 posts, read 468,314 times
Reputation: 398
I think the author was romanticizing Loss & Pain.
Sometimes it really is better not to have loved at all.
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Old 09-29-2013, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,068 posts, read 8,338,149 times
Reputation: 19427
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
This is exactly why this is a question. Otherwise, I think all most everybody would pick yes. I have suffered from heartache just as much or more than then next guy. However, knowing how all consuming, all powerful love is and can be, I am grateful that I have and do experience it. It's something that you could never fully explain to someone who hasn't felt it. It's one of those things that you can't learn vicariously. You have to totally experience for yourself. And as hurtful as some of those heartaches were, I wouldn't change them for the world.
^^^This.

And there is more than one way to lose a person. Ask any widow or widower if they would have rather never had their spouse in the first place if they knew the pain of losing them would be so great.
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Old 09-29-2013, 11:31 AM
 
15,729 posts, read 18,084,211 times
Reputation: 12742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slithytoves View Post
Depends on the person. Some people suffer so much damage from a loss that they are fundamentally changed in negative ways that affect other facets of their lives. Critical loss of confidence, trust, self-image, etc.

Other people only grow from the experience...the relationship, the lessons of the loss, whatever, and are better for it.

People are too different for such a broad generalization. Sounds romantic, though.
Agree.
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Old 09-29-2013, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,068 posts, read 8,338,149 times
Reputation: 19427
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRB22 View Post
As if there aren't millions of widowers and widows who sigh with relief after their spouse dies. My father's friend went partying on his wife's funeral day. The hell of decades of nagging was over.
Whoop-dee-doo. Your anecdotal evidence means nothing. You know someone who was relieved their spouse died. I know plenty of people who are devastated and would give anything for 1 more minute with their loved one. Your attitude sucks.
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Old 09-29-2013, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,068 posts, read 8,338,149 times
Reputation: 19427
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRB22 View Post
Why? Just because it disagrees with yours? I know, democracy is truly inconvenient.

Of course you can't expect someone to openly admit they are relieved. The social stigma would crush them. But I would say at least 50% of people whose spouse dies immediately think "a pity it wasn't 10 years earlier."
Oh goody, making up statistics is always credible. It doesn't change my original point that there is more than one way to lose someone.
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