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Old 10-01-2013, 08:50 AM
 
10 posts, read 12,775 times
Reputation: 10

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This is my first time posting, but need advise on how to keep my little sister from making a bad choice.

My sister is 19 years old, and until the end of April was living with my dad and our step sister and her mom. My step sisters aunt went to their house from out of town to visit her sister. Two days later she left and took my 19 year old sister with her.

They way that I understand how this all took place is the aunts wife was leaving her while she was out of town. Im not sure how long they where together, but I know it was over 10 years. The way my dads girlfriend explained it to me, her sister had cheated on her wife numerous times. Obviously had enough and left her.

So my sister moves in with her and they start a relationship. Four months later they are engaged to be married, although the divorce has not gone through yet.

This women is 34 and my sister is 19, I dont know what she is thinking. I know that she has had a brief relationship prior with another female, but I dont think that she is a lesbian. I have tried talking to her until I am blue in the face, to try and make her realize that at the end the chances are great that this will turn out bad for her. There are two sides to every story, my sister keeps saying what a monster the wife was. From what I hear they have both set out on a mission to do horrible things to this women, even following her.

I think my sister is mature for her age, but not mature enough to get married. They have only been together for a couple of months and now they are engaged.

How do I make her see that this is all bad?
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,615,347 times
Reputation: 39870
You can't.

Some lessons just have to be learned the hard way

At the most, you express your concern then remind her you love her and will be there when she needs you.
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:57 AM
 
72 posts, read 99,690 times
Reputation: 229
Who are you to judge whether the relationship is bad or not?

Maybe they are truly in love. Did you happen to ask her?
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:58 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,544 posts, read 40,047,259 times
Reputation: 41970
What a mess........

Your sister is a legal adult and can do what she wants. Hopefully you'll be there to help her when she needs to pick up the pieces.

A little concerned about the stalkerish behavoir toward the ex of her gf.... that part doesn't bode well either, hoepfully she doesn't cross any legal lines carrying on like that.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:02 AM
 
10 posts, read 12,775 times
Reputation: 10
I am not judging her, or their relationship. But I know my sister, and I know that she is not gay. Before she started this relationship she was head over heals in love with a boy/man. I am concerned that she is going a long with this women to follow the wife, for what reason I dont know. This women is in to self mutilation, and when she drinks to much cuts herself. And what her sister told me cut her wife one night after drinking. I have no problem with her wanting to be with another women, but to marry someone who she barely knows who is not even divorced yet is something that concerns me.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:06 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,170,127 times
Reputation: 5324
People make mistakes and trust me, someone telling them not to make them is not going to prevent them from happening.

If she is blind to what is going on around her, you aren't going to be the one to make her see. She has to see for herself. Which may take time and may result in her going through some s*it to get there. It's her journey though. So she has to live and learn. Just like the rest of us.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:17 AM
 
10 posts, read 12,775 times
Reputation: 10
I understand that I have to allow her to find her own path in life, and possibly make her own mistakes. But I dont think I would be a good big sister if I did not voice my concerns. My father and his girlfriend (her sister in-law) is still in contact with the wife, and they are both close to her. I dont know what is going on but my dads girlfriend does not even want anything to do with her sister. Whatever happened between the two wives in the past and whatever it is that my sister and her fiance are doing to this women can not be good. All my father would say is that they are going to drive this poor women in to a crazy home sooner then later.

Again yes she has to learn from her own hiccups in life, but dammit there is really something wrong with this women. She is not wrapped to tight, and I am scared for my sister.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:22 AM
 
811 posts, read 1,041,523 times
Reputation: 1432
Don't be a wicked princess.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:25 AM
 
10 posts, read 12,775 times
Reputation: 10
that is funny, that is the name of my daughters dog and cat.
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Old 10-01-2013, 09:40 AM
 
1,344 posts, read 3,923,513 times
Reputation: 1462
Well, lol, at least she won't be getting pregnant.

I'm tempted to say, yeah, she's a legal adult, but 19 is so very young. Especially for a 34 year old who has the potential to manipulate her young mind. You owe it to her as her older sibling to lend her some advice but don't judge and let her do her thing...
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