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Ok, I admit it he wasn't suppose to overhear that. When we were getting to know each other he did told me about wanting kids in the future, not now but later on. I replied with an ''Oh ok, yeah sort of same here''.
I really thought he wasn't serious about it.
Screwed the pooch, right there
Haven't read through the thread yet, so I don't know if you've clarified anything. He gave you an opening to discuss your stand and you blew it - big time. Your later comments, that he overheard, are in direct conflict to that wishy-washy declaration.
Also, saying "I really thought he wasn't serious about it" earns you a deserved smack down. Turn it around and think how you'd feel if there was an issue you considered important and he agreed, yet said later "I really didn't think you were serious."
As a childfree person, I tend to take the side of other CFs, but your behavior is damaging to the perception of those who choose to not become parents. I believe you should do some serious soul searching about your views and how you express them.
I'm 30 and have no desire to have kids. Work and my solitary hobbies keep me pretty busy. I have a pretty strong sex drive like any man but no desire whatsoever to father children.
My son doesn't like or want kids NOW (he's 23) but he surprised me by saying that he did want kids at some point. He even has a girls name picked out..I didn't know guys did that! LOL!
My daughter dislikes kids as a rule and doesn't want any. Every guy she dates is taken aback and claims to want kids but it doesn't stop them from falling for her. Some even come around to her way of thinking because she is very persuasive. But obviously none of them has resulted in marriage yet so who knows how things would have turned out. I can't say whether she will change her mind about kids or not. I did, but I still only like MINE, I am definitely not a kid person in general.
I'd like to be a dad, now that I'm much older and have better understanding of reality I'd rather wait until I'm a bit more well off, thing is I'm in my 30s now and people already think I'm too old. Of course this is an age where it's pretty normal to start a family before you're old enough to drink legally so there is that. I'd want to do things my dad didn't do. There was some points I see dads near my age who still dress like teens (talking tattoos, piercings, baggy shorts + wallet chains) and snap and their kids... I used to think to myself "how in the hell this a**hole was allowed to breed"
Be kind of funny going to parent-teacher conferences being the only dad in his late 30s with a kid the same age as other dads who are 10+ years younger. Though I'm getting ahead of myself.
My thing is I'd prefer to start from scratch, none of that stepdad first/dad second. I want to be there for "errything" When it comes down to it though, I'm more worried my families genetics can make it very difficult to raise them. My family was pretty dysfunctional growing up, and I had some pretty annoying setbacks and I'd be deathly afraid if my kids pick up on some of it.
Oh, and the whole paternity fraud thing which has kinda exploded in the past few years... God help me if I get tricked into that.
Well about three weeks ago, one my female friends and I were talking about never wanting babies (neither does she) and how the world is too overcrowded that some people really need to stop reproducing. Then we made several more jokes about all the things a child would put as through such as waking up in the middle of the right, cleaning vomit, looking older than our ages, etc.
What I didn't know is my bf of 1 yr overheard everything we said, he told me the following week. He has started becoming kind of quiet and slightly distant ever since. He said he was bothered by it esp about me saying I never want kids and the comment about people stop having kids. Usually aren't guys suppose to be happy about that? Yet he seems kind of hurt.
I might never want kids after all but is he suppose to get hurt by that?
Some guys do, some don't.
The signs are there, yours does or did.
You know what to do - "Lose that loser, dump that chump!"
So, he's a loser and not a good man because he wants children? Okay.
For pete's sake calm down. I wasn't implying that. She should get a better man for her. I wasn't trying to say that. I know it's politically incorrect to not like children so I wasn't trying to mean that at all. I don't need to give PJSinger an excuse once again.
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