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I have time and time again been defined as "a nympho with morals"...
My life story is this...
I have always preferred older men. My first bf I told him I was waiting for me to make sure my first time was with someone special and would be special. When I was 12 was when I found how good it felt to explore nyself, it prgressed much more when I was 14. My bf and I only made out and I never went any further...he cheated on me, abusedme and nothing good ever came out of this relationship. It depressed me. I later met a man (still 14 I was) who manipulated me...lied to me. I was open to him and he fed me an illusion. I never had much love growing up and this man fooled me into thinking I was his world...I wanted him. We had phone sex and would talk for hours and hours...I later found out he was much older than what he said and worse...he had a wife and a son hardly younger than me (5 yrs younger). This destroyed me. I wasin a dark place, wanted to just die...I spent much time alone when I turned 15, I found a friend...another older man...he was 22. He was in the military...I trust far too easily as I wound up raped by that man. I was damaged goods...or so that was implanted in my mind.
Leter on, about a year, my drinking increased and I took on the first guy that would show me any attention...I hated him...but drank and drank and had intercourse with him over and over to try and replace my first time. My family institutionalized me not much later. I attempted suicide multiple times until I had a bf who self punished and also tried to die...it looked pitiful and just downright stupid...I learned to cope but my kind hearted nature kept me in that relationship...if I left, he would kill himself. After 3 years of this I got to the only point in my life I did not want sex. This guy was a whole new breed of co-dependent, I could not even shower alone. After this relationship I married the next man I dated after becoming pregnant...we divorced for many reasons...one being money and the next ws because of how much I demand intimacy and affection. A single touch would mean to him that I needed sex when sometimes it was just to cuddle. Even after a child we were having sex almost everyday...but weed made him quite lathargic...or maybe he was turned off by me.
Now in my current relationship I have discovered things about myself...aside from a high sex drive I also use it to seek acceptance...but even learning how to get over that or to find new ways to feel "loved" I still crave it. I feel it has spiked. I have sex between one to three times a day, and when that isn't enough I take showwers or have waited for him to go to work. I take "keep your hands to yourself" very literal.
So here's the thing...guys want a nympho but in the end feel inadequate, unable to satisfy...I feel I give men this impression and have discussed it. Is it a problem? Should I be treated? I have never said no to sex in the past 4-5 yrs, I get to a point I need it but fear to initiate it. I don't want to drive someone away with this and I cannot simply just stop. I have had the will power to quit weed, drinking and smoking...but sex is asking to much.
When I smoked, the craving would end after ten min or so...with sex, ithe cravings come on as the same! I could just be cleaning and have to go take a break because the feeling will not end and the sensation is undeniable. If I ignore it, I am easily frusrated (much like a nic fit!). I am irritable and need that time to myself. I am addicted. Even now just talking about it...
I am only ever told its not a problem but somehow it eventually turns into one...maybe I take no as a rejection and take it to heart but I feel I ruin things with the hardcore need for intimacy and affection. I tell my bf its just not normal to feel this way all the time, to sleep holding his equipment, to never tire of being close and cuddled, etc!! What should I do?
I think your life would be much, much, much happier if you saw a counselor for a while. Not just your sex life and your relationship/s, but all aspects of your life. You have a lot of past traumas and emotional issues that you are carrying around. It would be great to heal those.
Interview at least 3 or 4 female counselors before you choose one, and pick the one you feel comfortable with. Don't see just anybody.
1. Do you enjoy it?
2. Do you have an urge to get as far from him as possible after you have intercourse?
3. Are you faithful?
4. Does your self esteem suffer greatly when your partner isn't always in the mood when you are?
If your answers are: Yes, No, Yes, No
Then you're fine. You just have an above average sex drive.
If your answers are something else?
You may have an issue or two.
I think you need to see a therapist, because you've had some pretty traumatic experiences that can and probably has heavily influenced your life and how you think in negative ways.
The nympho thing isn't a bad thing, some men want to do it up to 3 times a day, some guys just want it once a day and some even less than that.
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