Ha Ha!!! had you going there, didn't I?
This isn't a rant about any type of posts on this forum. As always, there are some good posts and some crappy posts.
This is more about my experience. All of us have some kind of insecurities. We all have some kind of hang ups. A lot of us think that our (insert flaws) is what is holding us back. Well, we are right about one thing. It is not our flaws that are holding us back, it is what we think about our flaws... for the most part.
Whenever you get the chance, take a look around and you'll pretty much find all kinds of people in all kinds of situations (single, in relationships). You'll find many different kinds of pairings, fat/skinny, "beautiful"/"ugly".
Now, you'll also find different types of relationships as well. You'll find the abusive unhealthy relationships, but let's look at the healthy(er) relationships.
One thing I have noticed in healthier relationships is that the people are not so caught up in themselves, or whatever it is that they think is a flaw. They accept themselves as they are and are at peace with what makes them unique. As a result, there are no "needy" parties on either side of the relationship. They can also love each other in a better way than if they were so caught up in irrelevant issues.
For those of us (guys) outside of relationships who can't seem to get a girl, just understand that it is (partly) you, but not like you think it is.
I used to be so caught up in my flaws that I was practically self absorbed. As a result, I've missed many opportunities. Then I have realized that I am in an area that is fairly diverse and there are people that value me for who I am. I've learned to give some people my time and even share some of my life with them. I was overwhelmed with the appreciation that I get from them. Now, I'm surrounded by different types of people, including good looking women (they are all potentially good looking as far as I'm concerned, but some of them are really close to their full potential if you know what I mean).
The key is to be genuine and not expect anything in return. People appreciate that. If they can pick up that you are either stuck on whatever flaw (even I couldn't see that I was self absorbed when I was, I am pretty sure that I still am at least in some way), or seeking to get something from them (even if they are the same way) then they are not going to be particularly positive about you, even if they may show pleasure in their interaction with you.
When you talk to anyone, have a genuine interest in them. You don't have to worry about outcome, unless you happen to come across someone with major issues. But there are ways to figure out who is messed up (in general). Don't worry about rejection. People get rejected for all kinds of reasons.
Like I always say, there are exceptions. Plus, there are also things you have to look out for in others
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