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Old 10-12-2013, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,495,521 times
Reputation: 40198

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Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
so I had a date with a new girl today who I had actually been in communication with online on an on and off basis for three months , we had coffee , visited an aquarium , played a game of crazy golf and then had a walk along the seaside , we kissed several times towards the end of the date

thing is though , Im not really that crazy about this girl , for once , she is more into me , I had a date with another girl who I do really like two weeks ago , the one I told I " like " , this girl has an incredibly full scheduele and we have not been able to meet up since

so heres what im wondering , were all adults , girl I saw today knew I had been on other dates lately and she discussed hers today with me , we had a laugh about how awful some were , would it pay off to tell the one I really like that I was on a date today with another girl , granted the girl I really like turned me down this past two weekends due to being busy and im the one who always has to text first , or would the girl I really like in a special way be likely to view me as a slimeball , I realise no one here is a mind reader and that im not exclusive with either of these girls but does letting a girl know she has competition make them up their game and come out as to whether they are serious or not or would she be likely to tell me to sling my hook ?
I wouldn't play this game.

If you aren't exclusive with someone then you are free to date as often and as many girls as you like.

But a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, especially in hopes of making someone jealous or getting their attention.
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Old 10-12-2013, 05:58 PM
 
2,826 posts, read 2,360,574 times
Reputation: 1011
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
so I had a date with a new girl today who I had actually been in communication with online on an on and off basis for three months , we had coffee , visited an aquarium , played a game of crazy golf and then had a walk along the seaside , we kissed several times towards the end of the date

thing is though , Im not really that crazy about this girl , for once , she is more into me , I had a date with another girl who I do really like two weeks ago , the one I told I " like " , this girl has an incredibly full scheduele and we have not been able to meet up since

so heres what im wondering , were all adults , girl I saw today knew I had been on other dates lately and she discussed hers today with me , we had a laugh about how awful some were , would it pay off to tell the one I really like that I was on a date today with another girl , granted the girl I really like turned me down this past two weekends due to being busy and im the one who always has to text first , or would the girl I really like in a special way be likely to view me as a slimeball , I realise no one here is a mind reader and that im not exclusive with either of these girls but does letting a girl know she has competition make them up their game and come out as to whether they are serious or not or would she be likely to tell me to sling my hook ?
Except you apparently. Dating two women is fine in a polyamorous relationship, because this assumes both of them are aware of it. They could in turn start seeing a second guy.

Doing this, however, makes them think they are important to you when they're not, and you haven't even the guts to face the woman. You're despicable.
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Old 10-12-2013, 06:15 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,034 times
Reputation: 10
Honesty is almost always the best policy! Men/women should be upfront with each other when dating or else suffer dire consequences. This is the voice of experience speaking from a woman who was used to fill a player's void. I was dating a guy who told me that he was dating another woman; denied any emotional attachment. I found out later that he was seeing several women; but had one main lady who was pressuring him to commit; he was just using me to make her mad so she could end the relationship. I was the one who chose not to be a part of his harem. I don't care to know what the others decided; but as for me..I am done!
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Old 10-12-2013, 06:18 PM
 
5,347 posts, read 7,185,467 times
Reputation: 7158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Share? I'm not sure what that means. I used to date more than one guy at a time. They knew it. I'm sure some of them were dating other women. It all depends on what you are looking for. If you are just having fun - it doesn't matter. If you are looking for a relationship, it does. As long as both people are on the same page - it's all fine. But if you find someone you are really interested in and want to have a relationship with - then it's time to figure out if you are on the same page.
To clarify, When I say "share" I mean like polygamy(without the actual marriage of course).
One man having multiple GF's who are all exclusive to him while all of those women knowing full well of each other and the situation.
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Old 10-12-2013, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,118,175 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
To clarify, When I say "share" I mean like polygamy(without the actual marriage of course).
One man having multiple GF's who are all exclusive to him while all of those women knowing full well of each other and the situation.
Yeah, that would never fly with me.
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Old 10-12-2013, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Bronx
16,200 posts, read 22,988,244 times
Reputation: 8345
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
so I had a date with a new girl today who I had actually been in communication with online on an on and off basis for three months , we had coffee , visited an aquarium , played a game of crazy golf and then had a walk along the seaside , we kissed several times towards the end of the date

thing is though , Im not really that crazy about this girl , for once , she is more into me , I had a date with another girl who I do really like two weeks ago , the one I told I " like " , this girl has an incredibly full scheduele and we have not been able to meet up since

so heres what im wondering , were all adults , girl I saw today knew I had been on other dates lately and she discussed hers today with me , we had a laugh about how awful some were , would it pay off to tell the one I really like that I was on a date today with another girl , granted the girl I really like turned me down this past two weekends due to being busy and im the one who always has to text first , or would the girl I really like in a special way be likely to view me as a slimeball , I realise no one here is a mind reader and that im not exclusive with either of these girls but does letting a girl know she has competition make them up their game and come out as to whether they are serious or not or would she be likely to tell me to sling my hook ?

Its not easy for men on average to juggle multiple women compared to women who can juggle multiple men. You really have to watch yourself buddy and watch your every step because once you loose one woman you will often loose the other. The more women that step to your plate the more other will show up. My best bet is for you not to tell the woman that is interested in you that you are also courting someone else. If anything the woman that is interested in you keep her in your orbit and generate some mutual satisfaction for one another, and the woman that you like but shows you know attention, keep her in your orbit but maybe at a distance because she does not seem to be into you. Also which one of these women do you find attractive, or has an amazing personality? I'm assuming you find the woman that gives you less attention attractive than the other woman who shows interest in you!
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Old 10-12-2013, 07:28 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,977,037 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
Unless there's a discussion about being exclusive, no one has a right to assume you are. The others are right. Its none of their business. Say nothing.
That's not what grownups do. Grownups talk about it, double-check that everyone is on the same page whenever, like the OP, they feel things are unclear.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
To clarify, When I say "share" I mean like polygamy(without the actual marriage of course).
One man having multiple GF's who are all exclusive to him while all of those women knowing full well of each other and the situation.
Oh, you mean in fantasy? When a man imagines that he can keep multiple women emotionally and sexually satisfied?

I think the rest of us here are talking about real life .
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:24 PM
LW4
 
124 posts, read 156,230 times
Reputation: 41
Here's a "what if" for you.... Suppose these two, three, four....maybe even MORE women are The SAME woman? Freaky huh? How do you know? Most guys wouldn't believe you if you told them anyways.

What then?
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,118,175 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
That's not what grownups do. Grownups talk about it, double-check that everyone is on the same page whenever, like the OP, they feel things are unclear.


After one date?
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:49 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,977,037 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
After one date?
Sure, if it's bothering you, if you feel like things are so unclear you have to post about it here .

Right now, he is worrying about if he is cheating on her by going out with someone else. And other guys here are telling him that he is, but it makes him a stud. That is all kinds of messed up. Situation needs some clarity.

It's kind of awkward now because they are not on that first date. Guys I date, that's usually when they bring it up, or in phone calls after. I am not sure these two are in such communication.
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