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Since most of what women choose is based on looks, a very handsome nice guy will have no problems. Those guys are often taken though, so women will date good looking jerks. That's where you get the nice guys finish last part. Also, handsome men will tend to mistreat women because they have so many options. Whereas an average looking guy might stay faithful. So, you could be referring to nice in that sense.
I agree with this 100%. Guys who are attractive tend to have a no-nonsense, don't-give-a-**** attitude when it comes to women. But the only reason they have that attitude is because they know they're attractive enough to not have to worry about putting on an act to please women.
There are truly nice guys, but there niceness has no bearing on their attractiveness to women.
Good-looking nice guy = attractive
Good-looking d-bag = attractive
Bad-looking nice guy = unattractive
Bad-looking d-bag = unattractive
For some reason there has been this myth perpetuated that a guy who isn't looking can adopt the attitude of a good-looking d-bag, exhibit "alpha" behavior or whatever, and that'll make him attractive to women.
Absolutely.
Though I must add a story.
Years ago, my buddy knew a group of international students from his graduate school and I got to know them. There were a few gals and guys. One of the guys was a really nice guy. The kind of guy who always will give you something for free, is always polite, and usually will defer to you for decisions. Passive. Isn't that the definition of nice? Miriam-Webster defines nice as: kind, polite, and friendly.
Later on, I had a conversation with the women in that program and they basically laughed at the idea of dating him. They said he was too nice. Too much of a doormat. From their mouths I heard it. And these were not wanton sluts. They were conservative women who were pretty damn passive themselves. A few of them rejected me, but I am not a nice guy in that sense. I get drunk, curse, hit on women, etc.
So being a nice guy can hurt you if it's doormattish. But is that really a negative trait?
I mean, we all have negative traits. There's some female posters here who are sarcastic, stubborn, cold, and unsympathetic. And they've been swarmed with men since puberty. I'm sure they're attractive.
It's all how much YOU have to compromise to balance with your physical attractiveness. Brutal game, really.
Years ago, my buddy knew a group of international students from his graduate school and I got to know them. There were a few gals and guys. One of the guys was a really nice guy. The kind of guy who always will give you something for free, is always polite, and usually will defer to you for decisions. Passive. Isn't that the definition of nice? Miriam-Webster defines nice as: kind, polite, and friendly.
Later on, I had a conversation with the women in that program and they basically laughed at the idea of dating him. They said he was too nice. Too much of a doormat. From their mouths I heard it. And these were not wanton sluts. They were conservative women who were pretty damn passive themselves. A few of them rejected me, but I am not a nice guy in that sense. I get drunk, curse, hit on women, etc.
So being a nice guy can hurt you if it's doormattish. But is that really a negative trait?
I mean, we all have negative traits. There's some female posters here who are sarcastic, stubborn, cold, and unsympathetic. And they've been swarmed with men since puberty. I'm sure they're attractive.
It's all how much YOU have to compromise to balance with your physical attractiveness. Brutal game, really.
I understand why they don't like it. Frankly I think too nice correlates with a low-self esteem.
These guys are extremely nice because they're afraid of getting a negative reaction, so they adapt a people pleasing personality to avoid the rejection. It's niceness borne out of insecurity, not genuine, and girls can sense that.
Because I'm "ugly yet sweet" I deserve all those hot girls rather than setting my sights on someone who is actually into me. They are obligated to me, for my superficial niceness.
I understand why they don't like it. Frankly I think too nice correlates with a low-self esteem.
These guys are extremely nice because they're afraid of getting a negative reaction, so they adapt a people pleasing personality to avoid the rejection. It's niceness borne out of insecurity, not genuine, and girls can sense that.
One of the girls from that program who put down that guy (and rejected me) liked one of my friends. My friend has had a GF of many years who he has cheated on, makes fun of fat and ugly girls, and is not loyal, not really a good friend. Of course he is also handsome and charismatic, and she didn't see all the negative sides, but she was all over him, shouted it out that she liked him, even though he had a GF at the time (and still does). And she was a really conservative, 'nice' girl.
I have so many stories like that. So, that is where the nice guy/jerk thing comes in.
You don't even care about the topic. You only ever show up to preserve the pristine image of women.
And I never implied that.
Temper, temper!
I don't believe in the pristine image of women. I believe that the world is made up of individuals and not 2 genders that all act and think in the same exact way. There are some horrible women out there. But simply having common genitalia doesn't make people attracted or not attracted to the same thing. If that were so - we would all look the same and have the same personalities because only people who all looked and thought one way would be mating.
I also think that calling men "beta" as an insult is not very nice.
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