Are some men meant to be alone forever? (ugly, Latin, atheist)
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He never even said what went wrong and you're just assuming it was his fault.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
No, I believe she meant not distinguished, not much of a gentleman either. If by not being a feminist you mean you don't believe women are equal , that's not something you would have to announce. It's coming through loud and clear, even to us girls.
Good luck with your dating life.
Maybe hang out at an institution and see if you can "woo" one.
When I was successfully dating, I did so because I went out and made it happen. I don't see how not being proactive and putting in work will lead to marriage.
And I'm not really sure what you mean. Women don't need to do any work. That's a fact....unless you count putting on makeup and rejecting guys for minor reasons as work.
Pretty much what I wrote is that it takes two people to make the relationship work. I made the initial contact with my soon to be wife. Was it hard work to ask her out for a first date? No! Has it been work to get to the point of the first date to marriage? Yes, from both of us. But while the relationship is work, it has been far more rewarding!
He never even said what went wrong and you're just assuming it was his fault.
No, you just don't like women, so you're assuming that's what I meant.
We all make mistakes, if we can learn from them, they're not such a negative impact on our lives. Like going around whining because one person rejected us. Get over it and move on.
Most the guys that are complaining about being single and not finding anyone are swinging for the fences. If you're short, fat, and dumpy, you should probably aim for short, fat and dumpy.
That is a lot of the problem with a lot of men. They're aiming too high.
That, and there was a quote from Dan Savage that I posted the other day where he said to a guy having a hard time dating that if he expects women to be patient and kind and overlook whatever disadvantages he brings to the table, that he needs to be willing to do the same. Some of these guys do expect women to put up with whatever they're serving, but they're not willing to put up with a woman's "flaws" and claim that they can't possibly overlook their preferences in a woman. But women are shallow when they have their own preferences, so it's a vicious cycle.
That, and there was a quote from Dan Savage that I posted the other day where he said to a guy having a hard time dating that if he expects women to be patient and kind and overlook whatever disadvantages he brings to the table, that he needs to be willing to do the same. Some of these guys do expect women to put up with whatever they're serving, but they're not willing to put up with a woman's "flaws" and claim that they can't possibly overlook their preferences in a woman. But women are shallow when they have their own preferences, so it's a vicious cycle.
This would make sense if women had the same problems ad men in getting dates and in my experience they don't.
Well, I think there are more men who are on the margins**, but your point (bolded) still stands. Whatever challenges a person faces, his (or her) attitude will help or hinder the effort to work through or around the challenge. Some people are so very invested in justifying why they can't, and if they'd invest half that energy in exploring how they can..........
**More men seem to have real, diagnosed personality or mental health issues that impact social skills, and we tend to expect men to be more overtly socially skilled, at least when initiating contact with women.
the bottom part you said completely nails it, because if a guy has bad social-skills or is socially-awkward, he can unfortuneately easily get labeled as creepy or bothering even when many of those guys don't mean any harm, and since guys are the ones expected to take social-risks, and since women are physically weaker than men, if a woman is socially-awkward, she won't get labeled creepy, it's impossible for a woman to get labeled creepy because since women are physically weaker than men, that means women won't be perceived as a threat
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