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Many years ago I went out on a first date with a woman and we went to a singalong party. Everyone had great fun since there were about 30 people there. There was no great pressure to carry on a conversation and we each made many new friends.
When I took her home, at the bottom of the stairs, I told her that I had Friday and Sunday open and gave her my phone number. She immediately took out her appointment book and we decided to meet on Sunday.
She later told me that she was immediately relieved that this had happened and that she would also email me and tell me of her availability. This turned out to be an uncomplicated relationship which lasted for 2 years. A Job transfer to very distant city proved to be too difficult for our relationship to continue.
What made her immediately relieved? The fact that you put the ball in her court by giving her your number? I'm only learning now at 33, that after the first date, its actually best to give her the space and opportunity to reciprocate.
The thing that you forget (and I'm not addressing anybody in particular with 'you', Mod snip.) is that we are all whiners, to varying degrees.
-Have you ever gone to your girlfriend and complained about something that happened at work, maybe getting passed up for a promotion?
-Have you ever whined to your mother about how a girl was prettier than you when you were youger?
-Have you ever whined about how you feel your best friend doesn't put in the effort that you do?
-Have you ever whined about life being against you?
-Has a woman ever whined about a man using her for sex? Getting dumped by a d@uchebag?
-Have women ever whined on Facebook about not having a man in their life?
These are all whines I have heard in REAL life. not here. Sometimes the whines online are a bit exaggerated because it's anonymous and an open forum. And to be perfectly honest, more than half of the 'whiny men' here are trolls trying to rile people up and obviously it works.
But exculding them, where do you draw the line? At those women and men I referenced above? Should they kill themselves? If you whine once in your life, do you lose your whiner virginity? Because those who are talking smack here have certainly never whined about a single thing in their lives. And CERTAINLY not about the hardships of dating, rejection, and being dumped, or being alone. And certainly nobody else here has ever generalized about the opposite sex after being burned.
So, who are you talking to? Me? I've whined here before. Damn straight I have.
This weekend I'm going to go see my mother and my sister and my neice. Am I a useless loser? Am I a misogynist? Maybe you should call them and let them know.
There is a difference between expressing hurt or anger over a bona fide offense, such as being lied to or used for sex, and incessant whining in a self-indulgent pity-party over problems that are of your own making. When people can't tell the difference, that right there is part of the problem.
There is a difference between expressing hurt or anger over a bona fide offense, such as being lied to or used for sex, and incessant whining in a self-indulgent pity-party over problems that are of your own making. When people can't tell the difference, that right there is part of the problem.
Still spot on. Big difference between "damn, my gf slept with half the Dallas Cowboys" and "wahhhhhh girls dont like me. I have everything to offer but women dont understand. They're all out to get me. Wahhhh"
It's almost scary to see how nutty some guys can get from not getting dates.
Indeed. Fortunately, I think people like that are actually a small minority in the overall real world populace. They just happen to be a vocal minority that congregates on the Internet and uses certain forums as their personal pulpits to loudly dispense their angst.
Most of the people I've met and gotten to know at least a little bit in real life have not been like this from my observations. Not even the ones who didn't get out much, nor the people that got little or no attention from the opposite sex during their high school and college years. For the most part they were fairly normal people who didn't seem to have a ridiculously inflated sense of entitlement. Inflated entitlement is very likely to lead to bitterness and/or anger if the person doesn't get his way.
I think certain people here get way too worked-up, emotional and defensive over dating, sex and opposite-sex interaction. I think they're not accustomed to or comfortable with having their own worldview "challenged", even if indirectly or unintentionally, and thus lash out. I believe 85-90% of the entire population (at least here in the US) has had at least some form of romantic and/or intimate interaction by their mid 20s, be it dates, relationships, flings, whatever. (And not including escorts.) That alone tells me that connecting with someone in a "want to date him/her" sense is not rocket science.
If a guy is truly "struggling" (I think that is a strange word to use in an attraction and dating context) to date or get initial attraction directed his way, then 9 times out of 10 he needs to look in the mirror.
1) You're right. I whine too much. I already apologized once in this thread and I believe in a thread last week too. Would you like to hear it again? I apologize.
2) You're right. I think women care too much about looks. I know it's not entirely true. I'm working on that part of my psyche.
3) You're right. I take it too seriously. Definitely. There's no reason to get worked up about this kind of stuff.
Didn't expect that response, did you? Do you guys want to help? Or do you really want to just fight? I can admit I'm wrong. My worst character flaw.
I would like to end my involvement in this thread by saying there's some other things that my other half of me wants to get off my chest but I won't because it will just breed more hatred.
I know that a comment that I make can make the person on the other end of the screen feel miserable. Food for thought. And yes, I have done it too.
Hopefully, as I've served as martyr for whiny men, this thread can die a merciful, natural death.
1) You're right. I whine too much. I already apologized once in this thread and I believe in a thread last week too. Would you like to hear it again? I apologize.
2) You're right. I think women care too much about looks. I know it's not entirely true. I'm working on that part of my psyche.
3) You're right. I take it too seriously. Definitely. There's no reason to get worked up about this kind of stuff.
Didn't expect that response, did you? Do you guys want to help? Or do you really want to just fight? I can admit I'm wrong. My worst character flaw.
I would like to end my involvement in this thread by saying there's some other things that my other half of me wants to get off my chest but I won't because it will just breed more hatred.
I know that a comment that I make can make the person on the other end of the screen feel miserable. Food for thought. And yes, I have done it too.
Hopefully, as I've served as martyr for whiny men, this thread can die a merciful, natural death.
On that note, the thread is now closed.
.
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