Anyone ever written a closure letter? (lover, family, college, ugly)

[upndown]

Just wondering, if someone hurt you (not necessarily romantically, it could even be a close friend or a family member) or you have for whatever reason had unresolved issues, has anyone ever written a "closure" letter? If so, did it make you feel better (whether or not they responded)?

In my experience, I once had a really big fight with my best friend from college. We actually ended up not communicating with each other for years. I finally reached out to him out of the blue and we made up and have been good friends again ever since.

I've also seen online where people who have ugly breakups will randomly write "here's how you made me feel" type of letters to their ex-boy-/girl-friends out of the blue to get closure. They never say what the response is, but I'm guessing that they never get a "thanks for letting me know" response. However, they all claim that it is very therapeutic.

Anyone else have any experiences with this and how did it go?

P.S. I guess another question is: has anyone ever received that letter and how did you react?

[Kin Atoms]

I've written a number of letters like that. I've got one I need to pen, to an old colleague who for some reason had the misconception I was angry. This is fine, but this misconception remained for over two and one half years. It dawned on me with our last contact (she: 'You seem angry,' me 'Only now since I started talking with you,') that SHE was the one who was embracing toxicity and seemed to prey on persons relative to her 'feelings' and opinions. No one could escape her 'feeling' something was amiss. Yeah, she was the one with the feelings, and they were projected onto others. This is a letter to be written, and I imagine it will be repulsive and denied by this person, as well as given a rich come-back.

Will I feel better from it? You bet. This is a person who cannot let another have the last word. I will finish the letter saying, 'don't bother to reply, it won't be opened or answered,' and I really mean it. I've learned if a response returns from these people, it usually is accusatory and not penitent, throwing challenges and blame on me.

While I'm an easy person to forgive, I won't become someone's doormat. And I've done this a number of times. Yes, it works wonderfully, it is cleansing, and allows you to move on. I recommend it, not necessarily to repair the relationship but to finish the experience and have 'closure.' One of the more recent letters I sent told a person to take any goods or materials that were mine, that remained at her house, and put them in the fire, burn them, and take the ashes to deposit them in the urn (literally) placed above her freezer that was emblazoned with the words, 'ashes of former lovers.' Yeah, said that, did it, and didn't look back.