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Old 11-23-2007, 02:56 AM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
I made contact with my friend again last night and we chatted like normal as if nothing had happened. We did avoid the subject of my feelings at all times. I was thankful for that and glad she wasn't bringing the topic up again. This showed me that she is sensitive to the issue after all.
In a previous topic I had complained that she was insensitive to my feelings, but that doesn't matter anymore as it had been ruled out. I am also glad I never confronted her about that and now things seem to be going allright between us.

The hardest part is still going to be just friends and nothing more, but I am quite optimistic about the fact that the friendship will survive and that there is no strange and weird behaviour from any side.
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Old 11-23-2007, 11:43 AM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,650,750 times
Reputation: 6691
don't hope or wait. move to the next lady as quick as possible.
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Old 11-24-2007, 12:38 AM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
don't hope or wait. move to the next lady as quick as possible.
Sure will, thanks!
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Old 11-26-2007, 01:31 PM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
Things were returning to normal between me and my friend after our deep discussion last week....
....until she read on a forum where I post regularly (not relationship related), that "I am getting over matters of the heart and washing it away with red wine". She surprised me as she had never been on that site in months and since she found it today only, must have searched purposefully for it. That post was made last week Wednesday, the day after my heartbreak, and it had been completely forgotten by me. Surely I was stupid to have posted it somewhere where she might be able to read it...the purpose was never to throw hints at her or to get her back in some way ever!

Tonight at first she hinted that something was not right...set her messenger personal message to "confused" until I asked her about what she was confused about...she then spilt the beans.

Very secretive, not trying to say what bugged her, and only let out that she was confused and shocked by what she had read because she didn't know the feelings were so strong and because she never wanted to hurt me.

Now that confuses me more since I thought she understood what heartbreak is better than I do and would have understood if I had sulked that day.

What does all this mean? *confused*

Have I hurt the friendship? Let her down? Hurt her?
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Old 11-26-2007, 03:23 PM
 
7,474 posts, read 7,811,756 times
Reputation: 10902
IMHO, you're entirely too nice to this girl. I think by bringing it up she was hoping to hear you say, yet again, that you have feelings for her. Your comment on the MB was innocuous and appropriate and should not have confused her at all.

I think it's time for you to move on. She's annoying me and I don't even know her.
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Old 01-13-2008, 01:06 PM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
A while since I last posted in this thread....

Been away on two week's holiday...hoped it would have helped ease the pain, kill the feelings, make me forget...

But alas...I'm still thinking about her...althoug not talking to her so often or seeing as often as before...the thoughts are still there...

Gosh, if things take time and time heals...how long will I still have to wait?

I had this theory that I would have liked to rewind my life to the moment before I have met this girl, and then rectify my decisions at that time, so I could have avoided myself the misery I am in right now...as opposed to the movie Click (Adam Sandler), I'd just wanna go back and take the other fork in the road.
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Old 01-13-2008, 01:21 PM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
But then again...no experience, bad or good should be a waste...I shouldn't be saying that I would have taken the other fork in the road. It is just wrong...

Rather got to look at the lessons learned here and try to move on, no matter how hard it seems right now.

Everyone keeps telling me I should never see this as a waste of time...I just can't put things into perspective right now...so this is where the time factor needs to do its healing stuff...

I just pray that one day I will look at this thread again and laugh about it...I really hope and pray that this would be the case!!
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Old 01-13-2008, 02:32 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,998 posts, read 21,884,732 times
Reputation: 10162
I think that it could take you a while to get over your feelings of love for her. Months, even years. It all depends on your mindset. I feel that you need to try harder to get out and meet new people, avoid any places where you and she had good times, and perhaps taking up a physically strenuous sport will help. Go running, play rugby or soccer. Just get really tired and it will help wipe away your thoughts of her.
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Old 01-15-2008, 06:15 PM
 
45 posts, read 90,919 times
Reputation: 22
I have leaned to look at this type of turmoil and heartbreak this way; Whatever is for you is already pretty much carved in stone. Whether she has this boyfriend or two more after that does not make a difference. What is yours or to be yours is there already. It's just a matter of time. With that said, no need to waste precious time wondering and hoping and wishing. You have to live life as if it was your last day on this beautiful earth. It helps to think this way beleive me. When you look at it from that prespective, there's so much life to live besides waiting and wondering about someone who may never be yours. Goog luck!
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Old 01-15-2008, 11:16 PM
 
Location: South Africa
26 posts, read 32,091 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon07 View Post
I have leaned to look at this type of turmoil and heartbreak this way; Whatever is for you is already pretty much carved in stone. Whether she has this boyfriend or two more after that does not make a difference. What is yours or to be yours is there already. It's just a matter of time. With that said, no need to waste precious time wondering and hoping and wishing. You have to live life as if it was your last day on this beautiful earth. It helps to think this way beleive me. When you look at it from that prespective, there's so much life to live besides waiting and wondering about someone who may never be yours. Goog luck!
Thanks for the wonderful advice from miu and dragon07!

Really appreciated.

Guess what I have started doing to divert my thoughts?

Cooking!
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