Why women can have standards, but men can't? (wife, ugly, Japanese)

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by findly185

I've always been curious if the women with laundry lists of standards didn't care about marriage or children, if their lists would become shorter....

Can't speak for everyone, but I didn't care about marriage or children.

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

I meant in general, though not the height thing. And of course there are logical exceptions. But if that's important to someone they are entitled to their preferences.

My point is EVERYONE should have standards in who they choose for a partner......... it seems such a given that I'm surprised it would argued.

It's not really for someone else to judge what another's standards SHOULD be. I had an extensive list of qualities I was looking for, in my head and I was content to remain single if I couldn't find it. My husband had his own list in his head of the qualities he was looking for in a woman. I'm sure both compromised on somethings , but that was our prerogative to decide some traits overrode others.

This is so true, however I find the ones judging other people's standards do so because they themselves don't meet those standards and it angers them...

[Hivemind31]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

And then some of them show up on forums like this complaining about how all women are vain, psycho, manipulative gold-diggers. Perhaps if they had demands or standards above and beyond "hot" and "puts out" they might have better results.

Ditto for women. Replace "hot" and "puts out" with the appropriate qualities....but the door always swings both ways.

[Hivemind31]

Originally Posted by Lilac110

No. There are just hoards of them who say, "No fat or overweight women," thus indicating that one's body is more important than one's mind, heart, and accomplishments. Best part is that at least half of the men who say something like that on a dating profile have beer guts or are overweight in general.

As for most of the list you posted, height seems superficial, a car depends on the situation, and educated people tend to feel they relate better to educated people. Having a job and his own place are pretty much standards of adulthood, not romance.

And the women who post the requirements don't have jobs, cars, etc. My point isn't that "women are worse than men with their requirements". Simply that it seems to be more "accepted" for women to have them than men.

I suck at multiquoting, but someone made a sarcastic comment about how "unreasonable" it was to expect a guy to have a job, car, etc. That's exactly what I'm talking about. I agree, those are reasonable expectations to have of many adults, male or female. But if a man listed them as "requirements", he would be judged more harshly than a woman who did. My opinion, of course!

[Tintlelli]

Originally Posted by Mighty_Pelican

I have turned down sex from women before, even from those society would deem the most attractive group, and in almost every case the woman would get offensive, call me names, and say that I must be gay because no real man would turn down sex from them; they say these things presumably to protect their overinflated frail ego.

Imagine if a man reacted that way to being rejected sexually, yelling, name calling, questioning the woman's orientation to rationalize their failure, etc. This double standard may lead credence to the idea in the topic post.

I have personal experience with this. Add in that he blamed immigrants for "taking our jobs and taking our women." His male buddies thought he was justified in his pouting. But I don't go around assuming that all men are like that. Anyone can stick to any "standards" or "preferences" he/she wants, even ridiculous ones. I'm not concerned that some stupid people are so full of themselves to think that the majority of the world is "beneath" them; they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting others.

[Rhenzanite]

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

This is so true, however I find the ones judging other people's standards do so because they themselves don't meet those standards and it angers them...

This is what it comes down to. If those women's standards lined up with what he provided then he'd probably think 'she has good taste and acceptable standards'.

I used to get really pissy at guys who rejected me because they only wanted petite women...but realized that those are their standards and that's not really my problem. Why would I want to be with a guy who didn't like me? I did that already, it was miserable.

So, everyone can have whatever standards they want, and if they have issues finding someone who meets them then so be it.

[redfish1]

Originally Posted by Mbara2013

We all know women have standards (especially high and unrealistic one) when it comes to dating men and they are called shallow or selfish. But, when men decide to have standards, they are considered shallow, mean, and selfish even though they are not high.

Guys care mostly about looks. I'm guilty of this myself, as I will complain about how crazy the women I date are, yet there is a surplus of non-crazy women out there that don't have the looks I want. women care more about a giant list of other things, but the big ones are security, looks, education and religion. They're more picky because they can be. Are Society values beauty, and because of the food we eat and our inactive lifestyles There are simply not enough attractive women to go around, so women that would have been considered average 30 years ago are now considered a prize. Someone will show some stat that says their are more overweight men, but that's just simply not true at all because they base those stats on BMI, which is complete nonsense.

[Bronxguyanese]

Why women have standards? Hmm that's not to hard to think about. For women women are more affected by a relationship than a man, its more easy for us men to walk away and walk compared to women from a relationship. Another thing is women have standards due to the fact because most women will reproduce. Like example a woman who weights 250 pounds say that she does not date fat guys and prefers men who are smaller than her, why? She is attracted to men who are in shape due to the fact she would like to reproduce a healthy baby with a physically attractive to guy. Generally this is true in some parts of the country where you see fat women with men that are slim. However a slim guy can not say I don't date fat women, it is looked down upon him being a jerk and a A-hole, plus very shallow. A woman from an upper middle class background can say she does not like broke men and prefers a man who comes from a similar income bracket, the reason why for this? She wants a man from the same broke ground in order to maintain a similar lifestyle of safety security and stablility for raising a family which a man of a lower income strata can not provide. However it would be very rude for a man to say I don't date poor women because their stuck up, or I don't date upper class women because they are too demanding and costly. You can have a single mom who says they don't date men with kids, why is this? A blended family can cause conflict during kids early years. But you never here guys who have kids say I want a woman without kids. You may have a woman who is college educated prefer a man that has a college education, due to the fact their kids if any can grow up in an educated and intellectual environment but also in terms of finance both parents can be better off due to having an education. Men have standards too but much of what men want is not that serious and men will settle faster than lets say your average woman.

[Bronxguyanese]

Originally Posted by JetJockey

This is what it comes down to. If those women's standards lined up with what he provided then he'd probably think 'she has good taste and acceptable standards'.

I used to get really pissy at guys who rejected me because they only wanted petite women...but realized that those are their standards and that's not really my problem. Why would I want to be with a guy who didn't like me? I did that already, it was miserable.

So, everyone can have whatever standards they want, and if they have issues finding someone who meets them then so be it.

Cant wait till I visit California next month, I never been. Every unattractive women that I bump into in Cali and that has problems meeting men, I will tell them to move to the Northeast cities of Boston, NYC and Philly, worried about being a 2 in Cali, you can easily be a 5 or a 6 in the Northeast and never have a problem with meeting men ever again. What is really sad is that not to long ago, went out with a chick who is a native of Los Angeles, she had trouble back home meeting men, looks department she is a 2 but she also has standards on what type of guy she likes and desires, she moved to NYC and now has no trouble meeting guys anymore. Her 2 in looks equates to a 5 out in the Northeast.

[hawaiian by heart]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

Simple.

People who have options and think highly of themselves have standards.

People who have no self esteem and has no attractions from the opposite sex, do not have standards.

Simple. Guys who have a lot going for them have standards because they can choose from many types of women. And vice versa.

This thread is clearly started by a guy with no standards because he has a hard time getting ANYONE to want to date him lol.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

And then you have guys who think there all that and come to the rescue of wemon(because we all know wemon are weak and need protecting) When really all they are doing is trying to earn brownie points to get that fur. And appear to be men when really they are not men because men don't do diservices to women. Like constantly make excuses so they don't have to be responsible. Wemon are not the weaker species, there the lifegivers, knuckle dragger! lol.