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Old 10-21-2013, 01:53 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 5,604,109 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Try to get used to the idea that women are not 'strange creatures'. They are just like men, except they wear different clothes and perfume and makeup and have been subjected to different social conditioning.

I know, it's hard to accept.

But once you do accept this, and have some female friends who you like a lot but are not attracted to, dating will become easy. You just gotta do those two things.
Meh, speak for yourself... I am pretty strange

Okay, little joke there.

OP, I have a suggestion for helping to start conversations... try Toastmasters. It's a club centered around improving speaking and leadership skills. It should help and if nothing else, it will help with other speaking and conversations you will have to lead now and later on in life aside from talking to women.
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Old 11-01-2013, 10:23 PM
 
5 posts, read 3,972 times
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It sounds like you might be frustrated with the situation that you are in. Talking to someone new can always be a nerve wrenching experience. I came across this really cool site yesterday. I think it's new. Anyway, there is a pretty good blog on there about how to talk to women. If you want, check it out: The Art of Attracting Hot Women - Confidence, Conversation, Attraction. Let me know if you get anything out of it.
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Old 11-02-2013, 06:24 AM
 
175 posts, read 233,057 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
The suggestions that I have won't help you get women per se (in a PUA sort of way), but they will help you I believe in the long run.

First off, get out and socialize as much as you can. The more you socialize, the more women you'll meet. That much is obvious. You can get some interests which cater to women and a broader range of people in general, but it's not necessary. Nor will it help as much as you think.

The most important thing to realize at your age (and I may get flamed for saying this) is that physical attraction is very important to most women. So, just like you are likely not interested in women who aren't physically attractive to you, they are the same. When you approach women, approach them in that way. Don't take rejection personally. You may meet a woman you click with in every possible way over 9 months and she rejects you, and then 2 weeks later meet a woman, and after 30 minutes, you are making out and she wants to be your girlfriend. I think it's VERY important to realize things work like this. Basically, the idea is to let your interest be known very early.

Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Yes, improve yourself, but don't heap all the blame on your shoulders. It's largely a numbers game for men who aren't 'off-the-bat' attractive to women types. Approach it in that way and I think you'll avoid the fate of the bitter, twisted troll people love to throw rotten tomatoes at.

Also, for what it's worth, I think bars and clubs are absolutely, bar-none the worst venue for guys like you to meet a woman. Online dating and meetups are much better.
This is good advice.

For now just concentrate on socialising with men & women. Spend more time listening then talking, then ask questions based on what your listening to. Ask them how they feel about the topic or what their thoughts are on it or what their experiences are with it. Women love to talk abou tthemselves, they also like a guy who can connect withthem and make them feel good which you can do both of which by both listening and putting yourself in their shoes and thinkig about how something makes them feel.

Maintianing good eye contact is also quite important - don't slouch or look downward, if you get this nailed now whenyour young it will help you when you are older. Eventually you'll need to start flirting a bit or making your intentions known.....but for now just concentrate on socialising until you feel more comfortable & confident. You'll also notice your anxiety slowly disapears.

Your only 20, plenty of time and no rush. Good luck
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Old 11-02-2013, 08:29 PM
 
5 posts, read 3,972 times
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I hear you. Meeting new people can be hard, especially when it's a woman you would be interested in hooking up with. Rejection sucks and it's likely not a feeling you want to have. I found some good advice on this one site The Art of Attracting Hot Women - Confidence, Conversation, Attraction. Check it out. I am sure there is something in there that will help you out. Good luck.
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Old 01-03-2014, 07:21 PM
 
151 posts, read 224,647 times
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Try Toastmasters. Guarantee to help you.
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Old 01-03-2014, 07:27 PM
 
1,112 posts, read 1,010,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Try to get used to the idea that women are not 'strange creatures'. They are just like men, except they wear different clothes and perfume and makeup and have been subjected to different social conditioning.

I know, it's hard to accept.

But once you do accept this, and have some female friends who you like a lot but are not attracted to, dating will become easy. You just gotta do those two things.


Jesus.

Except we have different body parts, think and react differently to different stimulus, so on and so on. We are not the same.
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Old 01-03-2014, 08:13 PM
 
12,395 posts, read 13,702,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyronHarpoons View Post
I'm 20 years old and I'm seeking some major help.

All throughout my teens up until now, I have never really been able to interact with the strange creature known as the woman. For some reason, I can't keep or start a conversation with girls or get them to show any interest in me. It's very frustrating since recently, I've been coming out of my shell and interacting more.

First off, I'm generally quiet and introverted, so this may play a part. I prefer to be by myself, but I do enjoy going out and do have friends. I like to socialize with others, but my interests as vastly different from 99% of females... I enjoy video games, politics, wrestling, cycling and working out LOL.. Yeap, not many females interested in that..

When talking to girls, I instantly struggle. I cannot for the life of me hold a conversation or even start one. Everything just becomes awkward after a while. If I do, I come off as boring or uninteresting, or just as a "Friend". I see guys make girls laugh and have girls enjoy their company all the time, but I just don't know how... It also doesn't help that a lot of females are quiet and leave it up to the ugy to initiate everything. I struggle with social anxiety also.. Before it was severe but now it's OK, however I can still feel the effects, espeically when talking to girls.

I just want to know where I can meet girls and how to socialize with them.. I'm going to start going to clubs and bars with my friends.. Could this be a place with lots of females? I have gotten better with practice over the past year and I am somewhat confident in my abilities, I just never have any girls to talk too!

Well, I think going to a club is not good to meet the ladies.

Just keep your eyes open to nice ladies shopping, reading at Barnes & Nobles, at a restaurant that sports a bar or even a laundromat.

Anywhere you find a lady that interests you think of something you want to say.

A lot of times if you say something to compliment her like say at a store, you may bump into her again later on in the store. That's when you say, "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee?"
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Old 01-03-2014, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Wandering in the Dothraki sea
1,354 posts, read 1,282,464 times
Reputation: 3250
Ah, the early-twenties. Just as gloriously awkward as the teenage years, if I remember correctly . Work on your confidence, OP, and the rest will follow.
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