Why do white women love black men (marriage, kids, call)

[Synopsis]

Originally Posted by RomanInSF

Unfortunately, the media has done a good job of portraying black men in a negative light, ignoring the fact that black men face enormous adversity every day of their lives in this country. Adversity though not only builds character it reveals, as Morgan Freeman once said. Amidst all of these ignorant, loud-mouth, shuckin and jiving, low class black men are some extraordinarily intelligent, highly-educated, witty, interesting, versatile, handsome, charismatic, athletic, compassionate, sophisticated, artistic, deep, exciting men who happen to be black. I suspect that these men are who these women are attracted to, and in this country there are plenty of them.

Yes indeed. There are good and bad of all races. Some of the best people I have ever known in my entire life are black. The media does portray a lot of negative images of black men. And although it is true that our country has come a long way, there is still a lot of prejudice against black people in general. Not so over the top, but if you were black and driving along doing your own thing, not breaking any laws but pulled over because you were in the "wrong" neighborhood how do you think that makes a person feel (and I'm as pale faced as they come)? As I said, our country has come a LONG way against discrimination but there are still things that need to be overcome. And btw, I DO not think Jessy Jackson or Al Sharpton, self-appointed as they are, represent blacks in general. I would think Bill Cosby is more deserving of that representation.

[miu]

Originally Posted by MrSykes

I wonder whether you would be so vehement about refuting the same "generalizations" if they happened to be made about white men's attractiveness to women. Methinks not.

Actually, being of Chinese descent, I object to all men who are attracted to Asians solely based on their looks. Aside from the fact that love should be colorblind, love should also be more than skin deep. And I find that many men only care about how attractive a woman looks and not anything about what's going on inside her brain or heart.

[smarty]

Originally Posted by miu

Actually, being of Chinese descent, I object to all men who are attracted to Asians solely based on their looks. Aside from the fact that love should be colorblind, love should also be more than skin deep. And I find that many men only care about how attractive a woman looks and not anything about what's going on inside her brain or heart.

Yes... Yes... When the lights are off... I'm color blind... As long as she is a woman, I'm good

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by miu

I live in New England and none of my white girlfriends of any age date black men. Stop generalizing.

That doesn't mean that it is not happening on a mass level or that it is wrong.

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by miu

Actually, being of Chinese descent, I object to all men who are attracted to Asians solely based on their looks. Aside from the fact that love should be colorblind, love should also be more than skin deep. And I find that many men only care about how attractive a woman looks and not anything about what's going on inside her brain or heart.

Well, there are many asian women who select a man simply because he's white, lacking the depth, the independence, the versatility to intelligently converse and relate to men with darker skin. It is a nice thing to say that love is "colorblind" or should be more than "skin deep." These phrases have been tossed around for centuries. They require no thought to say. I've heard seventh grades say, "men only care about how attractive a woman looks and not what's inside her brain or heart." Of course attractiveness is a factor. Most men want an attractive woman, who is smart, and has a good heart. Get real.

For you to say that you or none of your "white" friends don't date black men shows a definite bias away from black men. One wonders if you are indeed incredibly sheltered, maybe racist, or possibly unable to do what you say most men do...unable to get beneath the skin and see what's in the brain and heart. If none of your "white" friends are dating black men, perhaps you run in very racist circles or are very sheltered.

Also, how would you know all that your "white" friends do? Are you with them 24/7? In a community where it is frowned upon to date black men (and these still exist), at least one of your "white" friends could be dating one of the extraordinarily attractive, intelligent, engaging black men and not bother to give you a clue that this is happening at the risk of alienating you (since you don't partake).

Address your bias.

[miu]

My replies have been particularly tailored to the obnoxious title and first post of this thread. I have a good number of female friends of all ages and from all over the country. What is really annoying about this thread and others of the ilk is that they seem to be started by black men who are pleased to find some statistic, take it totally out of context, and boast that there is some national trend of hordes of white women desiring black men, and it is simply not true. No, I am not with my women friends 24/7, but we do girltalk and no, there has never been any talk of being attracted to or wanting to date a man simply because his skin is black.

As MrSykes mentioned, the key word here is "dateable", if a man is "dateable", it doesn't matter what his skin color is.

Originally Posted by johndoeboy

70% of black/white relationships are black male & white woman. A poll said that 78% of white woman ages 15-30 are attracted to black men.

All right, let's talk about this 78% number. So in this poll, they have selected the choice of saying that they are "attracted" to black men. But being attracted is not the same as "love" and it doesn't imply an extreme attraction either. And what if the same poll asked the white women how they felt about Asian men, men of other color or even white men? Were these women even asked to rank their attraction to men of all skin colors? And maybe these white women were thinking of Denzel Washington or some other black movie star when asked if they found black men attractive. And thinking that Denzel or Will Smith is attractive, does not translate into wanting to date just any black man. These studies are really not very revealing.

Anyway, very honestly, I have not seen any indication of a trend of white women wanting to date and marry black me amongst the women I know and not on any of the several message boards I am a member on. And I find these threads very irritating to read.

As to my tastes in men, well I am very picky and require a man that is very smart, intellectual and with a lot of commonsense. He must like my cars and my pets. And tolerate my cranky personality and my dry sense of humor. We need to be able to talk about all subjects for hours. He needs to enjoy listening to my varied thoughts. He needs to be an atheist. He also needs to not want children. I would prefer that he not be obsessed by his sexual needs. I will respect him more if his past dating history proves him to be very picky about the women he dates, he doesn't do any one night stands or have any FWB. And if there are long periods of time between his romantic encounters. I don't care for porn and I would prefer that he not look at porn either. I also need to know that he does not have a "thing" for Asian women. Currently, my boyfriend fits my requirements perfectly and I am very happy with him.

And no, I have never dated any black men. But I have not dated a whole lot of men period, and I never did the dating barhopping scene thing. I have worked with a number of black men, but there were no sparks between us. But I can say the same about my other male coworkers of other skin color also. And the men I have dated were through common interests like being in a rock band, antiquing, one was a coworker's brother, and my current boyfriend I met through a specialty car message board.

So I have not yet bumped into a man that I wanted to date that happened to be black. But I have no desire to date any man based on his skin color and neither go my women friends.

Now I did read this article a few weeks ago, but I don't think that it's anything that you black men want to boast about.

Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by miu

My replies have been particularly tailored to the obnoxious title and first post of this thread. I have a good number of female friends of all ages and from all .... I did read this article a few weeks ago, but I don't think that it's anything that you black men want to boast about.

Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists

Until you DO date a black man, you really don't have any basis to comment on the suitability of black men for anyone. Unless you are a black man, you haven't the slightest clue what experiences that extraordinary black men that I speak of experience with regards to white or any race of women.

You come on here singing the love is colorblind song, yet exhibit racial bias. Frankly you appear annoyed about the possibility that there might just be an incredible number of white women who prefer and pursue black men, just like there appears to be an incredible number of asian women who feel that their social status can be boosted by finding a white man.

Incredible that you would find an article about rich white women chasing younger black men in Africa as some kind of statement about why black men are not suitable. Laughable is what it is.

About the most that you can say is that because you know nothing about this subject, your perspective on it is complete conjecture and has no basis in reality.

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by miu

As to my tastes in men, well I am very...

Finally, this thread really isn't about YOUR taste in men. You are a Chinese woman who has a non-black boyfiend. This essentially removes you from this discussion. You have nothing substantive to add here unfortunately, except for an uninformed opinion not rooted in reality.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really must get better informed about such matters IMO.

[miu]

I really dislike fuzzy thinking and poor logic processing.

Originally Posted by johndoeboy

70% of black/white relationships are black male & white woman.

Well this part has been covered in another thread. Black women are only just not willing to date non-black men. Many black women in the past were told by their parents that they could not date white men because of past slavery and oppression issues. Date anyone, but don't date white men is what they were told. However, a lack of dateable black men has caused black women to start dating men of other skin color.

Originally Posted by johndoeboy

A poll said that 78% of white woman ages 15-30 are attracted to black men.

Just to reclarify. The above sentence does NOT directly translate into:

1. 78% of all white women are attracted to all black men.

2. 78% of all white women are willing to date a black man especially because he is black.

3. 78% of all white women have ever dated a black man.

4. 78% of all white women have had several black boyfriends.

5. 78% of all white women desire a black husband.

However, there are some very attractive black male movies stars that all women admire. I myself like Shemar Moore of Criminal Minds, but part of my like for him is also the character he plays. And realistically, we could never date as he is way out of my league, as in he can have any pretty starlet he wants.

Now what if People magazine posts a poll and says that Halle Berry has been voted sexiest female actress? And that 78% of the white male participants of the poll voted for her. Does that mean to you that 78% of all white males are attracted to black women? Well sure, as long as they are as beautiful as she is.

Then you have this C-D thread What Do Men and Women Want?

So what do women want in a man? A stunning 93 percent are looking for someone who makes them laugh, while 73 percent want someone who will "automatically" pay for a meal. Men who own their own home are five times more attractive than a man who does not. OK, so women are practical, too.

^^^^ And this statement here is much more realistic in terms of what women look for in a s/o. And see, no mention of skin color in that survey. So it's not a matter of making black men feel better or worse about the dating scene, because it's not their skin color that is the important factor as to whether or not a woman wants to date them. It all about being a dateable person.

Your skin color is NOT important. It's what's inside of you that matters. If any man has got a great personality, a good sense of humor, a decent education, has a good job, his head on straight and some common interests with me, that's a big step towards being someone that I would be willing to be friends with. And with me, if a man is not good friend material, I am not going to date him, let alone marry him. (Having a good job means that he is a functioning, productive human being that is forward thinking and interested in having a good quality of life and being able to retire in comfort. I am not looking to be pampered.)

[littleword]

heres my three cents....when i was in college/post-college i would go out to clubs/bars/parties and i would watch the crowd and watch life go by and i would notice a few things: i would see a group of white woman (attractive, average, and unattractive (generally "heavy set")) and they would approach guys as well as guys showing interest in them and i would notice time and time again over all the years, that the attractive white male would consistently reject the unattractive white "heavy set" females? these "heavy set" white females were looked professional and seem to be very nice, and im sure they were approachable for the white males. but then in contrast, alllllllllll the black guys would go crazy over these "heavy set" white females? these black men treated the white females very politely and were very gentleman like (and btw, yes there were black couples in the club). and basically, at the end of the night, everyone was happy and dancing or making conversation and im sure exchanging phone numbers. all this was just an observation, but is it a microcosm as to what is going on in our society? lets face it, if a white female (attractive, average, or "heavy set") are in a club or at a party or somekind of social gathering, and "if" time and time again, the white males show no interest in the "heavy set" white females, what are they suppose to do? they are only human and need someone in there life who will them right, and "if" in "some" cases or "most" cases, its the black male who shows more interest than the white males, so be it i dont have a problem with that, again, these are just "my" observations, and im sure "some" will disagree and "some" will agree and "some" really wont give a damn what i have say, but again....thats my three cents and what " I " have observed over the years.

also....i have some black in-laws, and here is what i noticed in "there" family. black father, white-step mother, and 4 kids (3 black males (all of whom married white woman), and 1 black female who married a black male. consequently, the black father divorced the black mother and you guessed it, got married to a white woman, hence the "white-step mother.