Why do white women love black men (dates, sexy, straight)

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by littleword

heres my three cents....when i was in college/post-college i would go out to clubs/bars/parties and i would watch the crowd and watch life go by and i would notice a few things: i would see a group of white woman (attractive, average, and unattractive (generally "heavy set")) and they would approach guys as well as guys showing interest in them and i would notice time and time again over all the years, that the attractive white male would consistently reject the unattractive white "heavy set" females? these "heavy set" white females were looked professional and seem to be very nice, and im sure they were approachable for the white males. but then in contrast, alllllllllll the black guys would go crazy over these "heavy set" white females? these black men treated the white females very politely and were very gentleman like (and btw, yes there were black couples in the club). and basically, at the end of the night, everyone was happy and dancing or making conversation and im sure exchanging phone numbers. all this was just an observation, but is it a microcosm as to what is going on in our society? lets face it, if a white female (attractive, average, or "heavy set") are in a club or at a party or somekind of social gathering, and "if" time and time again, the white males show no interest in the "heavy set" white females, what are they suppose to do? they are only human and need someone in there life who will them right, and "if" in "some" cases or "most" cases, its the black male who shows more interest than the white males, so be it i dont have a problem with that, again, these are just "my" observations, and im sure "some" will disagree and "some" will agree and "some" really wont give a damn what i have say, but again....thats my three cents and what " I " have observed over the years.

also....i have some black in-laws, and here is what i noticed in "there" family. black father, white-step mother, and 4 kids (3 black males (all of whom married white woman), and 1 black female who married a black male. consequently, the black father divorced the black mother and you guessed it, got married to a white woman, hence the "white-step mother.

So your conclusion is that 1) Only fat, undersirable white women go for black guys because after all, no attractive, slender white woman would 2) that somehow black men are abandoning the black women they're supposed to be with to heaven forbid marry white women. Incredible. You worked hard at concealing it, but you obviously don't have much respect for black men and think that only the most undesirable of white women would be attracted to them. I suppose this is a safe place for you to be.

[browneyedgurl]

Originally Posted by miu

Well this part has been covered in another thread. Black women are only just not willing to date non-black men. Many black women in the past were told by their parents that they could not date white men because of past slavery and oppression issues. Date anyone, but don't date white men is what they were told. However, a lack of dateable black men has caused black women to start dating men of other skin color.

I won't even pretend to know what other black women were told in their homes, but I was fortunately not raised in a family and by parents who told me I could date anyone I wanted unless he was white. I get annoyed by the notion that black women's decision to date outside of their race is based on a lack of dateable black men, because it makes it seem as if dating white guys, or guys of some other race, is settling for option B. Sure, I know plenty of "dateable" black men, doesn't mean our personalities are going to automatically mesh, or that we're going to bond. That's more of an issue to me, rather than wasting time fretting over someone's ethnic background.

Anywho, from my personal experience, I have heard more black parents tell their sons not to bring home white women than I have heard telling daughters not to bring home white men. Even heard someone in my own family say that there was no way in hell her son would be allowed to marry a white woman!

Mind you, I had my youngest brother with me at the time, who is half-white. So yea, I didn't appreciate her words.

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by miu

Without trying offend you, if you read some of the replies on this page from DontH8Me and browneyedgurl, black men DO discriminate in the sense that they put labels on women by race. To a significant percentage of black men, dating or marrying a white woman is seen only as bagging some trophy. The women that they are attracted to are very much categorized by their race and skin color. All your statement really says is that black men are willing to date women that are not petite or slender, that they don't mind dating a woman of thicker build.

How do you know what black men think and do, you have never dated a black man? Even if you did, that wouldn't be enough for you to generalize. How do you know that black men only see white women as a "trophy", you are Chinese? Aren't you just repeating stereotypes something you've read?What insights and exposure have you had to what black men think? I question your credibility here. You appear to be willing to make blanket statements about a subject you haven't the slightest clue about. You simply spew stereotypes. Shameful!

[Alexus]

Originally Posted by browneyedgurl

I won't even pretend to know what other black women were told in their homes, but I was fortunately not raised in a family and by parents who told me I could date anyone I wanted unless he was white. I get annoyed by the notion that black women's decision to date outside of their race is based on a lack of dateable black men, because it makes it seem as if dating white guys, or guys of some other race, is settling for option B. Sure, I know plenty of "dateable" black men, doesn't mean our personalities are going to automatically mesh, or that we're going to bond. That's more of an issue to me, rather than wasting time fretting over someone's ethnic background.

Anywho, from my personal experience, I have heard more black parents tell their sons not to bring home white women than I have heard telling daughters not to bring home white men. Even heard someone in my own family say that there was no way in hell her son would be allowed to marry a white woman!

Mind you, I had my youngest brother with me at the time, who is half-white. So yea, I didn't appreciate her words.

Thanks for your insights. Shame that she is making blanket statements based on stereotypes that are useless to this discussion.

[MrSykes]

Originally Posted by miu

Actually, being of Chinese descent, I object to all men who are attracted to Asians solely based on their looks. Aside from the fact that love should be colorblind, love should also be more than skin deep.

You obviously don't know how easy it is for a bona fide Asian fetishist to dissemble his raw, visceral propensities toward Asian women under the guise of "colorblind", "personality-based", "socially respectable" attraction in order to land his "prize". I seen it happen all the time in the military. And the Asian girls fell for it time and time again. Ate it up.

Don't be fooled.

And I find that many men only care about how attractive a woman looks and not anything about what's going on inside her brain or heart.

Yawn. How many times have we heard this one folks? As if I had never been flatly rebuffed by a woman despite all my "dating credentials". I even had a white woman tell me that she simply wasn't attracted to me because I was black, never mind the fact that she still considered me "handsome" and "a good catch". Whatever.

I'm not fooled.

[MrSykes]

Originally Posted by miu

Your skin color is NOT important. It's what's inside of you that matters.

That is the ideal. The reality is that many people are summarily dismissed as potential dating candidates based upon skin color. Very few people IMO operate in a world totally devoid of fixed socialization patterns and psychosocial forces that dictate a priori who is dateable and who isn't. It would be all but impossible for your average dater to manage such a large pool of potential dating candidates without developing social classification systems that are often predicated upon groups defined primarily by physical appearance. The average dater neither has the time nor the willingness to essentialize every candidate based upon his or her individuality. The process is too costly. Buying into trendy stereotypes becomes more cost-effective, even effortless.

In essence, if I already subscribe to the notion that black men as a group are the least dateable of any group, then I would naturally want to allow myself to be further grounded into this notion by some sort of "empirical verification" (i.e., "confirming" my friends' repulsion to black men, anticipating behavior from any given black man that would help engender the stereotype even more, avoiding any acknowledgement of "atypical" black behavior that would threaten to trump the stereotype), because the more people I can categorically eliminate from my personal desirability pool from the get-go, the more streamlined my process becomes for selecting a mate. And the more I can make use of this process to fit my needs while hiding behind the veil of colorblindness, the longer I can escape the cognitive dissonance that inevitably results from the very hypocrisy I employ to economize in the dating market.

[returningtonepa???]

bottom line if you seek others that your social circle or family approve of(in regards to race,education,physical appearance),its a 90% guarantee that your relationship/marriage will sour

relationships that work last only on INNER needs being met---no matter what the person's background-----

speaking from experience

[Don Vito]

This is getting silly.

[millie61]

silly thats an understatment, do these people have any idea about what they are talking about ??? As I have said before been with my "Black" !!! Husband for 23 years he is my husband who gives a monkeys what colour he is ?? or is my attitude like this as I am from Europe and not some hick town USA. Where everybody marries their second cousin !!! lol
Must add am neither ugly fat or stupid - so prooves the theory wrong about black men marrying fat ugly stupid white women.

[littleword]

lol.....i call it like it is. hey that is what " I " see, if u see different that is great . im not the black man who had 4 kids with a black woman, then divorced her to be with a white woman, okay?, however, that is what happened, and im just here reporting it to u. if it was the other way around i would have said so, but it wasnt. perhaps all i am saying is that black men dont mind "heavy set" white woman? however, that being said, there only needs to be 1 person in the world to be offended, or 1 person in the world to disagree or prove me wrong, then all of a sudden im narrow minded or as u say......."in a safe place to be." if that is the case so be it. or maybe how about i write a book or invent some kind of "black-white" formula for dating? exactly, that is impossible, but non the less time and time again, in public when i go to costco or the mall or shopping in general, what do i see??? let me say it again (im not trying to offend, just reporting...okay?), i see black men with an overwhelming number of "heavy set" white woman comparable speaking to slender white attractive woman (of course i see the occasional supermodel "white" woman with the black men), but.....again.....i say the "overwhelming" number is "heavy set".... again....im just reporting what i see.

lets start another thread, and pole black men and see who they are dating? im just curious? also...what is the deal with "successful" black men always dating and going out with white woman? when i saw tiger woods girlfriend (now wife), i was like...."good for him, that is great, she seems nice." but.....wow....did tiger woods get some flak from all the black woman, omg i was rolling on the ground on that one. isnt this america and we can pick and choose who we want to date? ...thats my 4 cents.