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OP: 'We were planning out our 2nd date to just hang out and have a Walking Dead marathon. She wanted to do it at my place. I don't mind having women over, but the only thing I don't like is I have no control on when the date ends. I can't just say ok, time for you to leave.'
'Then I asked if she would mind if we ended the date around 4 or 5ish as I had errands to run later.'
'That does raise a red flag for me. Another red flag is when planning the date, I was offering suggestions, and she was like anything is fine with me. I asked if we should meet at her place or mine, and she started telling me how her apartment is really small and she has no furniture besides a bed almost like she was strongly discouraging me from coming there.'
'The time thing is just a problem with me and dating. I had one date years ago that started at 5pm, and she was still at my place around midnight. I was sleepy and wanted to end the date, but she gave no indication of leaving. I just don't feel comfortable spending a whole night with someone I just met, regardless if it gets physical or non-physical.'
These are a consolidation of your posts. Notice a pattern? Only after people told you that you blew it, did you say, 'Errands was a bad choice in words. I had a guitar lesson to teach that night.'
Sorry, but I have a difficult time believing the 'guitar lesson' reason, especially after your prior posts imply that you don't want someone there all night keeping you awake (heaven forbid you're having a good time).
Followed by your obvious defensiveness about the issue when told by people that you blew it:
'The folly here was being too trusting in the communication. She seemed like a cool girl that we could talk things out if I said something that rubbed her the wrong way, and vice versa, but she is still playing the ignore game which pisses me off.'
Too trusting in the communication?
Sorry, but I'm not seeing where I lied. Yes, the term "errands" was really bad on my part, but I legitimately had something important planned that evening. I just figured she would reply and give me the chance to elaborate instead of jumping to conclusions.
More BS. You wanted her to reply to 'errands' and then you would explain the 'legitimate' reason???? That makes absolutely no sense.
You said above that you were giving her suggestions about the date (apparently with no time limit as long as it was at HER house, or somewhere else) and that only after it was decided to be at your house did you ask her to start at noon and end at 4. You didn't tell us that you had a guitar lesson, you didn't tell her you had a guitar lesson, you just wanted her out of your house by 4 and 'I have to run errands' was the best you could come up with. Telling us it was a guitar lesson after the fact, is just you trying to CYA.
Next time I suggest you tell the girl that she has to leave by 4 so you can do your laundry. When you get one to come over with that excuse, you've found the one you deserve.
CYA? lol Dude, I'm not on trial here, and I don't owe you or anyone here anything. I just wanted some insight into why she took the comment so negatively. So I repeated exactly what I had texted her. I got that several comments ago. Like I said, if a girl had asked me the same thing, I wouldn't have been extremely offended. Women have set curfews on dates with me before.
I suppose you have never said anything to the opposite sex what was taken negatively? It was one mistake, and I certainly won't do that again.
CYA? lol Dude, I'm not on trial here, and I don't owe you or anyone here anything. I just wanted some insight into why she took the comment so negatively. So I repeated exactly what I had texted her. I got that several comments ago. Like I said, if a girl had asked me the same thing, I wouldn't have been extremely offended. Women have set curfews on dates with me before.
I suppose you have never said anything to the opposite sex what was taken negatively? It was one mistake, and I certainly won't do that again.
Chuckling here. You asked for advice because you thought she overreacted to your making something up which created an awkward situation, and a zero chance of a future with her. You got advice from many people here. Helpful advice I might add. You didn't like it and changed your story.
You then compound your error by stating, 'Women have set curfews on dates with me before'. Remember???? This is about a guitar lesson, not a curfew. LMAO. Good luck.
No need to get defesive. Have you texted your date ti clear up any misconceptions yet? Its not too late. Just be honest with her instead of being totally vague.
Chuckling here. You asked for advice because you thought she overreacted to your making something up which created an awkward situation, and a zero chance of a future with her. You got advice from many people here. Helpful advice I might add. You didn't like it and changed your story.
You then compound your error by stating, 'Women have set curfews on dates with me before'. Remember???? This is about a guitar lesson, not a curfew. LMAO. Good luck.
Curfew, guitar lesson, it's still the same. Asking the other person if they would mind ending the date at a specific time. I don't think that's unreasonable, but I agree with others that it created an impression that I wasn't that interested in her. That's it. I lied about nothing. You are adding nothing to the discussion but just trying to antagonize me for your amusement.
Curfew, guitar lesson, it's still the same. Asking the other person if they would mind ending the date at a specific time. I don't think that's unreasonable, but I agree with others that it created an impression that I wasn't that interested in her. That's it. I lied about nothing. You are adding nothing to the discussion but just trying to antagonize me for your amusement.
Its not the same. Theres a specific reason you had to end the date. It wasnt a curfew or errands. It was more of an obligation. What was the big deal explaining what your situation actually was instead of being intetionally vague? Whats so unreasonable about that? You just came off like you had another date. If you told her you had a guitar lesson, she might have understood why you had to end the date early.
I think it's the WAY you phrased it. She probably felt like she was being "kicked out" at a certain time. Just be smoother next time. Women like smooth men.
You still did not answer the question op. Why didnt you just tell her about the guitar lesson and why dont you call her and explain your situation rather than be vague?
Chuckling here. You asked for advice because you thought she overreacted to your making something up which created an awkward situation, and a zero chance of a future with her. You got advice from many people here. Helpful advice I might add. You didn't like it and changed your story.
You then compound your error by stating, 'Women have set curfews on dates with me before'. Remember???? This is about a guitar lesson, not a curfew. LMAO. Good luck.
Nicely done. The OP seems to be allergic to honesty. The girl made the right call. Her instincts were excellent.
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