What would you do if your fiance and sibling fell for each other? (soulmates, love)

[Idon'tdateyou]

Be happy you found out now before the wedding. I have heard of people who had this happen after marriage.

I'm glad I just have a brother and he is straight as I am. He has no sexual interest towards my boyfriend nor do I towards my sister in law.

[lilyflower3191981]

I love my sister in law to death. But I don't think I can be a muff diver. She is not my type.

[jgn2013]

That's rough...yikes! I'd flip back and forth between being hopelessly sad and extremely furious. You'll get over it, though you'll never forget. If you ever meet your true soul mate, this will only seem like a blip on the radar.

For now, I'd focus on self-improvement, travelling and socializing. Perhaps, go out on the town and meet new people (especially women). You don't have to jump into a relationship....but just find new people to interact with.

[LexWest]

Originally Posted by zentropa

Put down the pipe, hippie. This is a terrible betrayal by brother and fiancee, and sadly, he is stuck with them as "family" forever. Holidays, funerals, weddings... ugh.

If it was me, I would pack up and go somewhere wonderful to begin a new life with new "family" made up of close friends I could trust.

"Fiancé" confused me at first—thought the OP was a woman. I think the OP meant "fiancée."

I normally try to be gender biased, but I can't help but think posters would be harsher against the fiancé and the sister falling for each other than the fiancée and brother falling for each other.

OP you have my sympathies. I can't think of anything that would help you right now. I think it's easy for posters to say "you'll get over it," and "you dodged a bullet," because it's not their situation. In theory they're good advice, but also somewhat hasty, even. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do or if I'd easily "get over it," either. (Though I know I can't afford to let it scar me forever and keep me bitter, because these people will likely move on with their lives no matter what I'd do.) I suppose I would just take time for myself, perhaps even away from "family matters," and it could be a good while before I could move on; but I do hope for your sake you eventually do find the right one and this one would hardly be worthwhile.

[srjth]

Let them know how you feel, and then never speak to either of them again. They are not to be trusted.

[Irishiis49]

Originally Posted by zentropa

Put down the pipe, hippie. This is a terrible betrayal by brother and fiancee, and sadly, he is stuck with them as "family" forever. Holidays, funerals, weddings... ugh.

If it was me, I would pack up and go somewhere wonderful to begin a new life with new "family" made up of close friends I could trust.

That is an awful betrayal...I could never support another family member in this case...there are boundaries one doesn't cross in families...

[AverageGuy2006]

Originally Posted by srjth

Let them know how you feel, and then never speak to either of them again. They are not to be trusted.

I really don't know what I'd do i I were the OP.
But this post may be how I handle it initially.

If my sibling ruined my engagement, I would probably feel that I could NEVER trust that sibling ever.
Space would be a requirement initially for sure. Problem is, now other family members almost have to either be passive, and not take a side, which hurts you, or they take a side, and someone gets hurt.

The sad truth is, it is best this occurred now, and not after the $50,000 party.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by stan4

You have to stop seeing this as a loss and start seeing it as a bullet you dodged.

He did not steal her.
SHE went to him.

Yep.

Not for nothing, but if something like that happened in my family, my parents and the rest of the family would not have approved. Why? Because the partner is a flake and a liar. You don't just love someone without having some kind of affair, even if it's not physical. That she would spend enough time with your brother, of all people, to fall in love with him means she has zero integrity, and my family wouldn't want such a person to join the clan regardless of which sibling she chose.

So be grateful that your brother, who is also not to be trusted, got stuck with her. I'll bet she eventually cheats on him, too.

[dmills]

This sucks big time!! I can't imagine how betrayed you must feel. However, if you're really honest, this shouldn't come as a surprise. Your fiancé had character issues long before this, and has probably exhibited them. You never mentioned the previous relationship with your brother, but I suspect he's been a dirt bag for a while. Personally, I think it's good that the fiancé did what she did when she did when she did it. She saved you a lifetime of misery. Your brother's behavior was despicable. Even if he was attracted to her, he should have considered how his behavior would impact you and restrained himself. Grieve the hurt, but don't let yourself get stuck there. You deserve better, but will only find if if avoid getting stuck in this huge betrayal.

[Prince_Frog]

If this happened to me I'd pack up and move as far away as possible, and even contemplate on leaving the country, so I could get as far away from this family as possible.

Sorry man. Hope something good comes from this in the end.