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Thank you everybody for your advice. My friend has confronted her husband and he swears up and down nothing is going on. He says he will not initiate texting with her going forward and he will show each and every message to her as he has nothing to hide. At this point, she is considering confronting the other woman and/or setting some ground rules, i.e. 1) No texting unless spouses are copied on the texts, no emails unless spouses are copied, etc... Not sure what that will accomplish assuming they really are hiding their affair.
It won't accomplish a thing if they really are cheating. Chump change will buy them both disposable cell phones. Secret emails are free. Were it me I would not get so wrapped up in this possible other woman but instead would get hardcore serious about enriching my marriage.
It's either a misunderstanding on the part of the wife or the husband is a complete freaking moron for allowing that on his phone given the "no secrets" agreement concerning phones.
Sounds like the other woman is flirting with him.
The "ground rules" are just going to make your friend look like a nutcase, and drive the husband crazy. If he's cheating, the rules won't do any good, and if he's not cheating, the rules are just going to make him defensive.
If I were the friend, I'd want to start spending time together with this "other woman" and the spouses involved...I'd be watching to see how they interact.
Thank you everybody for your advice. My friend has confronted her husband and he swears up and down nothing is going on. He says he will not initiate texting with her going forward and he will show each and every message to her as he has nothing to hide. At this point, she is considering confronting the other woman and/or setting some ground rules, i.e. 1) No texting unless spouses are copied on the texts, no emails unless spouses are copied, etc... Not sure what that will accomplish assuming they really are hiding their affair.
Stop her from confronting the woman! Geez, that just makes HER look bad - insecure and out of control.
I don't think the guy is necessarily guilty of anything.
The woman could just be HOPING to stir up trouble or was even just trying to pique his interest.
Have her ask her husband to set the woman straight - by calling or emailing her that the message was more suggestive than he and you are comfortable with, and that he won't tolerate anyone making his wife uncomfortable like that.
Side note: obviously her husband is not having an affair. How irrational is that?!! This reaction is what this girl wanted. She's clearly trying to cause tension in their marriage. It sounds like she has a healthy marriage and should TRUST her husbands words.
To all of the married women out there: What if you saw the following text message on your husband's phone? "Yes, I miss spending time alone with you. :-( " - Text message from a platonic female friend of your husband.
...
She has one of those "no secrets" marriage. They have a mutual agreement that they can look at each others phone / email / Facebook / everything anytime they wish.
RED ALERT!! The first word of her text to him is "yes" which implies that he asked her the question.
[appears to me that this "no secrets" marriage is about to be tested]
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