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Old 10-29-2013, 11:01 AM
 
270 posts, read 967,693 times
Reputation: 202

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KickAssArmyChick View Post
I am going to speak from a place of anger so I don't know if you might want to take what I say seriously.

One day I came across a similar text message on my then husband's phone. The female said something along the lines of "You give meaning to my life."

As a married woman I wouldn't send such text to another man. Let alone a married one. A relative of mine? Maybe. But not a married man. Or a man in a relationship. I wouldn't accept that kind of behavior from a friend either. When I was married I had a friend who made a move on me and I put him right in his place and made it very clear that I was off-limits and that if he didn't think he could respect the fact that I was married, then we had no business being friends. He never did it again.

Bottom line, my now ex-husband was cheating on me with her... And with other women. So there is more to this story. Major red flag to me.
Wow, I took your post very seriously. You just confirmed what the majority of the others on this forum thought. Either they are already cheating, or she is blatantly after him. Hopefully it is the latter and he put her in her place yesterday. I wonder if she will try again.
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:05 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,197,081 times
Reputation: 29088
He probably had a fling with her at some point and broke it off.
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Old 10-30-2013, 03:01 PM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,726,959 times
Reputation: 4791
Quote:
Originally Posted by srnyong View Post
To all of the married women out there: What if you saw the following text message on your husband's phone?
"Yes, I miss spending time alone with you. :-( " - Text message from a platonic female friend of your husband.

Asking for a friend who saw this message on her husband's phone. Message was from a long time platonic female married friend of her husband.
Friend was in the kitchen when her husband's iPhone beeped and she saw this message on the screen. She confronted her husband immediately and his defense was 1) He couldn't control what the female friend said, and 2) His text to her was, "Are you running in the 5K race tomorrow?"

She has one of those "no secrets" marriage. They have a mutual agreement that they can look at each others phone / email / Facebook / everything anytime they wish.
It sounds wistful, intimate and as if she is used to spending time alone with him and enjoying it. The text marks her as someone kind of young, I think. The wife confronted about the text and the husband said he had no control over what the woman texts. I think the wife needs to ask her husband directly what the ---- is going on.
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Old 10-31-2013, 07:34 AM
 
270 posts, read 967,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
The text marks her as someone kind of young, I think.
I see how you could easily draw that conclusion, but for the record, the text was sent by a woman in her late 30s who is very well educated.

It has been a few days since the husband told her that her text was completely inappropriate. No word from the woman to my friend (the wife).
If you were wrongly accused of hitting on another woman's husband, wouldn't you want to defend your honor or clear your name with the wife?
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Old 10-31-2013, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,598,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srnyong View Post
If you were wrongly accused of hitting on another woman's husband, wouldn't you want to defend your honor or clear your name with the wife?
If she was a friend and I cared what she thought about me, yes. Otherwise, I'd probably just let her husband handle it.
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Old 12-10-2013, 10:16 PM
 
270 posts, read 967,693 times
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Update: The female platonic 'friend' is now an ex-friend. She did have "the hots" for the husband (which is why she sent that "I miss spending time alone" text message to him). Her husband found out about it and got really mad at her. 20+ year friendship now over.
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:44 AM
 
3,501 posts, read 6,164,607 times
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Thanks for the update. I'm not surprised at the outcome.
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Old 12-11-2013, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,694,379 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by srnyong View Post
Update: The female platonic 'friend' is now an ex-friend. She did have "the hots" for the husband (which is why she sent that "I miss spending time alone" text message to him). Her husband found out about it and got really mad at her. 20+ year friendship now over.
I always appreciate an update, so thanks
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Old 12-11-2013, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,694,379 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by srnyong View Post
Thank you everybody for your advice. My friend has confronted her husband and he swears up and down nothing is going on. He says he will not initiate texting with her going forward and he will show each and every message to her as he has nothing to hide. At this point, she is considering confronting the other woman and/or setting some ground rules, i.e. 1) No texting unless spouses are copied on the texts, no emails unless spouses are copied, etc... Not sure what that will accomplish assuming they really are hiding their affair.
So how is the relationship between the husband and wife now?
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Old 12-12-2013, 06:42 AM
 
1,250 posts, read 2,157,553 times
Reputation: 2567
All that supervision, monitoring each others' messages, etc....

It's not a marriage, it's a police state.

The second you feel the need to check your spouse's texts, emails, or whatever, the loving, trusting part of the marriage is essentially over. You are surveilling for breaches in the marital contract.
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