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Lol, you are evil. And no. I had men whom were insulted when I offered to pay.
I'm insulted when they don't. Them's the breaks. Men are on the "chivalry" end of that stick....some women are offended by door that's opened for them, and some are offended when it isn't.
I'm insulted when they don't. Them's the breaks. Men are on the "chivalry" end of that stick....some women are offended by door that's opened for them, and some are offended when it isn't.
Simple fix. If they aren't paying and you feel ita too much too often then stop taking them on dates that require money.
About 5 years ago I was seeing a direct correlation between dates I took to dinner and those I cooked for/invited over.
When I took a girl to dinner, never got laid. When I cooked dinner and hung out at my place. I usually got laid.
The solution? I went on a MANY month hiatus of taking girls to dinner. Never. Worked flawlessly. I eventually worked my way back into it but was much more careful.
I'm insulted when they don't. Them's the breaks. Men are on the "chivalry" end of that stick....some women are offended by door that's opened for them, and some are offended when it isn't.
That's the feminists to the extreme. I believe in old school and new age thinking. Never forget history but if it needs to be altered inorder to be more effective, do it.
I take a door holding as a mannerly man or woman. Too many feel they are beneath these "old ways". But they are the ones that have the doors slammed on them as they are carrying packages.
Men and women need a little help in life whether they admit it or not.
That's the feminists to the extreme. I believe in old school and new age thinking. Never forget history but if it needs to be altered inorder to be more effective, do it.
I take a door holding as a mannerly man or woman. Too many feel they are beneath these "old ways". But they are the ones that have the doors slammed on them as they are carrying packages.
Men and women need a little help in life whether they admit it or not.
The counter-point there is that the men who are insulted by women who offer to pay are also on the extreme end of their beliefs.
Edit: P.S. I believe that most men who insist on paying at least appreciate the offer. Speaking personally, I'm insulted when they don't offer, because the implication is that it's expected, which I find rude. That's just my view.
Ultimately, my point is that a lot of things go both ways.
The counter-point there is that the men who are insulted by women who offer to pay are also on the extreme end of their beliefs.
Edit: P.S. I believe that most men who insist on paying at least appreciate the offer. Speaking personally, I'm insulted when they don't offer, because the implication is that it's expected, which I find rude. That's just my view.
Ultimately, my point is that a lot of things go both ways.
So I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months, he always initiates the dates we've been on. Once he had asked to see me, but I was busy that night and asked if we get together the following night, which we did (so don't really think that constitutes me initiating). So the other day he made a comment in passing, how I never ask to see him, it's always him asking to see me (he said this in a joking manner). So question to the guys, if you were seeing a girl for a couple of months and she never initiated dates, would you think she's not that interested? The thing is I'm kinda traditional in that I think in the first couple of months the man should iniate the dates, I do intiate contact though.
If you're wondering what other men's opinions are, I tire of having to initiate conversation, dates, and sex. When I jokingly mention to a woman who I have to initiate everything, it means I'm tired of it. I do not like pressing women to act out of their own character. I will try to nudge them into it to see if they're opened to the idea. Joking with them about it, is one obvious tactic. What other men mean, I don't know. What I mean is I'm growing tired of how things are going, so if they don't act interested, I'm gone! I will not beg her, I won't plead, I won't give her prompts. I'll just figure that we're not matched properly, so if it continues, I just abandon her or set her adrift. On occasion and well after I've broken contact, she'll take the initiative, but by that time, I'm done. I am used to being single. I'm an iconoclast, I don't fit society's norms, and I'm not desperate for a woman.
If you're looking for suggestions, I've no clue what your man thinks or feels. Perhaps he is bothered by the fact that he always has to initiate the date. The best way to know for sure is to ask him if he would like you to ask him out. He may be uncomfortable telling you the truth, so there's no guarantee you'll get an honest response. Perhaps a compromise is in order. For example, "I'm a traditional woman, so I don't like to ask men out, but I am into you, I'd like to see more, so could you ask me out more?"
I hate being pest a with women I don't know. Hence, if she doesn't act interested, I won't bother her! I've run across women who like to be pursued, so I often ask if they're just shy, uninterested in me, or want to be chased. Not all men are used to my levels of rejection though, and it's often crushing. Hence, you may have to take the initiative here.
good luck,
bolillo
Last edited by bolillo_loco; 10-28-2013 at 12:36 PM..
Reason: No Rhodes scholar here
If you're wondering what other men's opinions are, I tire of having to initiate conversation, dates, and sex. When I jokingly mention to a woman who I have to initiate everything, it means I'm tired of it. I do not like pressing women to act out of their own character. I will try to nudge them into it to see if they're opened to the idea. Joking with them about it, is one obvious tactic. What other men mean, I don't know. What I mean is I'm growing tired of how things are going, so if they don't act interested, I'm gone! I will not beg her, I won't plead, I won't give her prompts. I'll just figure that we're not matched properly, so if it continues, I just abandon her or set her adrift. On occasion and well after I've broken contact, she'll take the initiative, but by that time, I'm done. I am used to being single. I'm an iconoclast, I don't fit society's norms, and I'm not desperate for a woman.
If you're looking for suggestions, I've no clue what your man thinks or feels. Perhaps he is bothered by the fact that he always has to initiate the date. The best way to know for sure is to ask him if he would like you to ask him out. He may be uncomfortable telling you the truth, so there's no guarantee you'll get an honest response. Perhaps a compromise is in order. For example, "I'm a traditional woman, so I don't like to ask men out, but I am into you, I'd like to see more, so could you ask me out more?"
I hate being pest a with women I don't know. Hence, if she doesn't act interested, I won't bother her! I've run across women who like to be pursued, so I often ask if they're just shy, uninterested in me, or want to be chased. Not all men are used to my levels of rejection though, and it's often crushing. Hence, you may have to take the initiative here.
good luck,
bolillo
My life experience is very similar here.
I will add, that most of the time, FOR ME, when a woman wants to be chased, she seldom makes the fruit worth the squeeze.
I have had quite a few odd stories that are either PG, or NSFW, but usually end the same.
IME, if a woman makes me chase her, once she knows I'm chasing, she either has an anxiety attack, or gets bored and flakes.
I no longer chase women, and I also no longer live by being a traditional male. IME, the more traditional a guy is, the more he gets taken advantage of.
Also, I will add, that when a woman is truly interested in getting to know a guy/date him/include him in her life, she WILL do whatever it takes. This isn't theory. It is IRL IME.
I have dated women that pretty much expected me to make the plans, entertain them, make the first, 2nd, 100th, 1000th move and so on. But then, sometimes I just stop 'making a move'. Many times, it takes weeks before they figure it out.
And it is probably the same logic as a woman posting a thread on the forum....
"my guy always does everything, asks me out, pays, entertains me, seduces me... But he all of a sudden stopped after 3 months of dating. Should I text him? What's wrong? "
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