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Old 10-29-2013, 07:34 AM
 
35,120 posts, read 40,051,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by filmsniffer View Post
anyone here experiencing this?

most of the people i know are married and squirting out kids. they're always rambling on about those subjects. i usually have to cut them off because it was boring me to tears. I am one of the few who has never married. people occasionally ask me if i am taken and/or getting married or what. i don't feel the desire to tie down with another person forever. people talk marriage like it's some sorta ritual or rite of passage. i don't get that mentality.

i just like doing my own thing and don't care about having someone. is that taboo to some people or what?

It is not taboo and if you do not like the topics of discussion leave or leave the married people alone and
"go do your own thing" without being burdened by someone who is married.

Women do NOT SQUIRT OUT kids either and that is just plain rude and disrespectful to state it that way

If those who are married are so bothersome to you don't waste their time being around them, obviously you do not really consider them friends.
Go find others who are single so you can "go and do your own thing" together.
Personally I would never ask you if you are ever going to get married because friend or not, I don't care and it is none of my business.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Southern Ontario
439 posts, read 474,896 times
Reputation: 755
If you are doing your own thing, why feel any pressure from those that are doing the same thing--only different from your thing?
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Middle America
36,512 posts, read 41,720,253 times
Reputation: 50244
Quote:
Originally Posted by filmsniffer View Post
anyone here experiencing this?

most of the people i know are married and squirting out kids. they're always rambling on about those subjects. i usually have to cut them off because it was boring me to tears. I am one of the few who has never married. people occasionally ask me if i am taken and/or getting married or what. i don't feel the desire to tie down with another person forever. people talk marriage like it's some sorta ritual or rite of passage. i don't get that mentality.

i just like doing my own thing and don't care about having someone. is that taboo to some people or what?
How does that go over? I'm not married or with children, either, but I don't cut people off because I'm not interested in what they're talking about. It's socially inappropriate. If your entire tone is as rude and disrespectful as your post is, I wouldn't worry about having those friends for too long, so the "problem" should correct itself.

If you are solid in your decision to remain single, you shouldn't care about others' opinions on the topic, they should roll off you. If you are cool with living a lifestyle that is counter to the majority, and continue to surround yourself with people who do marry and have families, you have to expect that they're going to talk about their lives, of which having families is a big part. Either deal with the reality that they'll talk about their experiences and lives, and you'll talk about yours, and those aren't the same and that's cool, or surround yourself only with people who make exactly the same lifestyle choices as you do...to me, THAT would be more likely to bore me to tears, but to each, his or her own.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:36 AM
 
Location: NY
9,071 posts, read 14,980,293 times
Reputation: 11498
Maybe your best course here is to widen your circle of friends to include more that are not married.

Married people with children tend to talk about their marriages and their family a lot because, well, to be honest, their marriage and their family become their top priority in life as well as their top hobby. Marriage and especially children are lifestyle altering events in an adults life (generally).

Now, yes, there is some social expectation that this is a "norm" and that people should generally seek the norm. The reason for that is it has been a typical progression of life for a very large percentage of society for a very long time.

Yes, it is perfectly normal and acceptable to want your life, and your lifestyle to be something other than marriage, children, and family. It is also perfectly acceptable for you to expect your friends to recognize and respect your life and lifestyle decisions. Make sure they understand that it is your choice and your satisfied with it.

Just don't be surprised when your friends involved with family want to do and talk about family related things. If that is bothersome, don't stop being their friends, but start hanging out people who are single, or prioritize the types of things you prioritize in your life a little more.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:36 AM
 
902 posts, read 3,249,259 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
People talk about what's going on in their lives and what's important to them. If they're your friends, you should be happy for whatever life stages they're going through. Maybe you can't relate to their experience, but you don't have to be so derogatory toward them for making different choices than you, the same way you don't want people being derogatory toward you for not being married/having kids.
they don't need my happiness. it's not like i have to approve or something. they do what want they do. some people are like that, and i dislike it. i don't want to hear nonsense about your lives. keep those things to yourself. i like discussing subjects, not someone's life. i absolutely have no interest in that. and stay out of mine. my choices are my choices and you don't need to know anything. i rarely rib my friends for being married, but i get ribs about being a bachelor all the times from friends. why the anomaly?
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:36 AM
 
14,396 posts, read 17,284,238 times
Reputation: 11189
Quote:
Originally Posted by filmsniffer View Post
anyone here experiencing this?

most of the people i know are married and squirting out kids. they're always rambling on about those subjects. i usually have to cut them off because it was boring me to tears. I am one of the few who has never married. people occasionally ask me if i am taken and/or getting married or what. i don't feel the desire to tie down with another person forever. people talk marriage like it's some sorta ritual or rite of passage. i don't get that mentality.

i just like doing my own thing and don't care about having someone. is that taboo to some people or what?
People project their wants/desires onto you and vice versa.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:40 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 25,025,744 times
Reputation: 32379
I've not experienced this.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:40 AM
 
3,201 posts, read 3,556,679 times
Reputation: 4407
go ahead and marry and "squirt" out some kids if you are preoccupied w/ this "social pressure" thing

if all your female friends are married and are "happy" just gently remind them that their husbands all have side chicks
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:45 AM
 
902 posts, read 3,249,259 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Yea, I couldn't imagine living somewhere that placed pressure on marriage or kids. I would move.

Luckily for me, most of my friends are focused on careers and school, so we all still go out to the bars and no one talks about marriage or kids.

Plus I don't think I would be friends with someone like that. I have the occasional outlier friend, but most of them will chose the marriage/child free lifestyle like me.
move and get new friends? i like that idea! all of us already have well established careers and degrees. i'm just the lone bachelor.

i wouldn't either, but a lot of them are lifelong/highschool friends...i find they're quite hard to get rid of barring extreme measures.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,047 posts, read 8,298,162 times
Reputation: 19311
Quote:
Originally Posted by filmsniffer View Post
they don't need my happiness. it's not like i have to approve or something. they do what want they do. some people are like that, and i dislike it. i don't want to hear nonsense about your lives. keep those things to yourself. i like discussing subjects, not someone's life. i absolutely have no interest in that. and stay out of mine. my choices are my choices and you don't need to know anything. i rarely rib my friends for being married, but i get ribs about being a bachelor all the times from friends. why the anomaly?
What you've just described is the opposite of friendship. Maybe you should forego the friends and join a debate group or current events discussion group instead.
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