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Old 10-30-2013, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,583,571 times
Reputation: 3341

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
If a guy is my age, mid 40s, and has never had a long term relationship (like, 10 years or so), that is a huge red flag.
Interesting. I'm 40, and the only people I know my age who have been in 10 year relationships are still in those relationships (usually married), and therefore not on the dating market. The people I know who are still single at our age have usually had relationships ranging from a few months to a few years at most, i.e. long enough to realize it wasn't the person with whom they wanted to spend their life. When I think of someone who has been in a 10-year relationship, I think of someone who made a lifelong commitment that didn't work out.

Last edited by nearnorth; 10-30-2013 at 11:34 PM..

 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,583,571 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
Yeah but if he or she is too experienced they are ho's. .
Yes, if you're young enough to have not yet learned the difference between plural s and possessive apostrophe-s, it makes sense to me that you might also still have an adolescent view of human sexuality.
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:28 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,965,961 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
Interesting. I'm 40, and the only people I know my age who have been in 10 year relationships are still in those relationships (usually married), and therefore not on the dating market. The people I know who are still single at our age have usually had relationships ranging from a few months to a few years at most.

Wow, that sure isn't the case with folks I know.

Even if people waited till 18 to start, that's 22 years of dating history. And they never got past 'a few years'? That's scary.
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:32 PM
 
375 posts, read 795,943 times
Reputation: 330
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
More than that. If he is older than, say, 23 or 24 and has never even kissed a girl, I would think there was some kind of psychological or cognitive disability going on there. It's not the inexperience that's the problem, it is the troubling diagnosis. That is a lot for a healthy young woman to have to deal with.
So then what if the guy is just a typical guy, but hasn't just had the chance to date. I'll use my example. I'm 24, and while I've kissed two girls, I haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than a month. So what could be wrong with me. To be honest my only issues are that I'm not that great looking (i'm not hideous or anything, but not exactly attractive), and that I just find it hard to talk to girls. does that mean I've got issues or something? Some people just aren't as social as others. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:32 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,965,961 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
But that's not what you are referring to. Men who are uninterested in women because they are asexual, gay or dealing with a low sex drive are not in the same category.

You WANT a woman. So why have you been unable to achieve even the most benign physical encounter with one? I am willing to bet that you have at least one, perhaps even two, of the impairments I listed.

I don't know about this particular guy, but that generally seems to be the case with all men under 40 here (and one or two over).

What I can't figure out, is why does this forum attract such an odd demographic? And why is is so different according to gender? Where are all the young aspie women? Well, I know where they are -- on the aspie/autie sites. But why are the guys here and not there? Do they actually like all us 40+ ladeez?
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:35 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,583,571 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Wow, that sure isn't the case with folks I know.

Even if people waited till 18 to start, that's 22 years of dating history. And they never got past 'a few years'? That's scary.
I'd say that's normal. Why would you want to spend 10 of your 22 years of dating with the same person? That sort of defeats the point of dating. Most people I know who want to be together more than a few years just get married and stay together for life (or at least attempt to).

So are the 40-year-olds you know who have been in 10-year relationships divorced? Or did they date that long without ever taking the plunge? I just haven't known many people in those categories. Even most the divorced people I know my age tended to have short-ish marriages. Usually if they've made it to 10 years they're going to make it much longer.

Last edited by nearnorth; 10-30-2013 at 11:47 PM..
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:36 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,621,875 times
Reputation: 54728
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbay33 View Post
So then what if the guy is just a typical guy, but hasn't just had the chance to date. I'll use my example. I'm 24, and while I've kissed two girls, I haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than a month. So what could be wrong with me. To be honest my only issues are that I'm not that great looking (i'm not hideous or anything, but not exactly attractive), and that I just find it hard to talk to girls. does that mean I've got issues or something? Some people just aren't as social as others. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them
You are not the subject of this thread because you are in the norm. You have had intimate encounters with the opposite or same sex. You have had dates and even a relationship or two.

The OP has not done any of these things. Ever.
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,793 posts, read 4,583,571 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I don't know about this particular guy, but that generally seems to be the case with all men under 40 here (and one or two over).

What I can't figure out, is why does this forum attract such an odd demographic? And why is is so different according to gender? Where are all the young aspie women? Well, I know where they are -- on the aspie/autie sites. But why are the guys here and not there? Do they actually like all us 40+ ladeez?
Autism occurs at a much higher rate among men than women. I think that's what you're seeing here.
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:40 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,965,961 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
I'd say that's normal. Why would you want to spend 10 of your 22 years of dating with the same person? That sort of defeats the point of dating. Might as well just get married.
I was counting marriages in the 'long term relationships' category. Unless, you know, they were not long term .

I think it's cool if people are doing what they want to do. But to be 40 and have never had the experience of a longer relationship -- well to me it seems like a big loss. It's like, I dunno, not knowing how to drive or swim or something. Missing out on a common and fun and useful human experience.

Of course, there are people who think that about me because I don't have kids or am not of their religious denomination or whatever.
 
Old 10-30-2013, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Coastal Mid-Atlantic
6,713 posts, read 4,371,492 times
Reputation: 8311
On the other hand. A guy loves to get a woman with NO experience.
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