This forum gives me the impression I'm not qualified to date

[kat949]

Originally Posted by freemkt

By American standards, I'm poor. I rent a room in a house and have no control over who else lives here or who can come over to do their laundry (and run up the utility bills) or the noise level etc. There is a resident drunk who hasn't worked on over five years - back when he worked he worked out a deal where he rents the house and subrents rooms, allowing him to live in the house for practically free. (At one point he messed up and I worked out a cheaper deal paying the landlord directly.)

I was raised by drunks and have 'issues' regarding living with volatile drunks - especially when they have authority over me (he could kick me out of the house during one of his blow-ups). He lost his license to drive (multiple DUI) and as his GF is in jail for several months, he mopes around the house all day and rarely goes out. Since I financially cannot afford to move, I seethe with anger and resentment and negativity.

Posters in this forum give me the impression that my negativity makes me undateable. I'm sure that SOME people have sucky depressing living arrangements. I suppose that not having control over your living environment is sufficient to render one undateable. Does this mean I don't deserve to date until I get more money and a normal living situation?

How about people having to live with or take care of parents who never wanted them due to rape or unexpected pregnancies?

Does it make these people less desirable or un-dateable? People who maintain a sense of character/dignity despite their adversities make them VERY attractive. They've experienced what not many can say have survived. And, a person's past doesn't define who they are.

When you run into someone who understands you and feels compassion towards your situation, you're at an advantage in that you can more readily weed out the shallows and fakes and find yourself a real genuine and sincere person.

[cpg35223]

I read once that, barring chronic disease or acts of God, you pretty much have the life you deserve by age 40. Kind of gotta agree with that.

[Darthfrodo]

Originally Posted by 2mares

Exactly.
I think though that your negativity and living arrangements are separate issues. I'm sure you could find an equally negative woman to date. You could probably even find some nice homeless woman that care about your living arrangements.

The nice thing about dating homeless people is that you can drop them off anywhere.

[monumentus]

Originally Posted by s1alker

What about a guy in his 30s who makes $9 an hour, and is awkward, isolated,ect.

What about him? And what about the wage? People of all walks of life find love. Your wage does not dictate your ability to date.