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Old 11-01-2013, 10:30 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,502 posts, read 28,391,956 times
Reputation: 43328

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There are lot of couples out there that are poor. I see couples out there who are homeless. I see couples out and doing free things in my area. I don't think your income level is the issue.

If the place you live is too expensive, have you considered moving to another town or to another state? One where the cost of living is lower?

Excuse making and negativity are certainly turn-offs to many people and will reduce the pool of possible dates for you.
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Old 11-01-2013, 10:33 AM
 
862 posts, read 1,148,873 times
Reputation: 915
This forum give me the impression that people have issues, their issues have issues and everyone here offerring advice has issues to go with it, so nobody gets the help they truly need.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:29 AM
 
6,040 posts, read 4,405,193 times
Reputation: 16753
Not the be insensitive but you have the wherewithal to post over 11,000 times...you gotta be able to channel that effort somewhere better to help yourself out.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,976 posts, read 19,940,546 times
Reputation: 12856
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
By American standards, I'm poor. I rent a room in a house and have no control over who else lives here or who can come over to do their laundry (and run up the utility bills) or the noise level etc. There is a resident drunk who hasn't worked on over five years - back when he worked he worked out a deal where he rents the house and subrents rooms, allowing him to live in the house for practically free. (At one point he messed up and I worked out a cheaper deal paying the landlord directly.)

I was raised by drunks and have 'issues' regarding living with volatile drunks - especially when they have authority over me (he could kick me out of the house during one of his blow-ups). He lost his license to drive (multiple DUI) and as his GF is in jail for several months, he mopes around the house all day and rarely goes out. Since I financially cannot afford to move, I seethe with anger and resentment and negativity.

Posters in this forum give me the impression that my negativity makes me undateable. I'm sure that SOME people have sucky depressing living arrangements. I suppose that not having control over your living environment is sufficient to render one undateable. Does this mean I don't deserve to date until I get more money and a normal living situation?
I don't think the point of view of CDR really matters. I honestly never took any of the advice given on this forum. However, I do follow certain posters on this forum and take their advice to heart (selective few posters on my friend's list)

I don't think your current living arrangement makes you undesirable to date. However, negative attitude is hard to cope with. I know some women who love to fix men's problems in real life. According to modern psychology, these women are co-dependent. I've known a girl who has been with a drunk husband for years without leaving him. My own sister has put up with his lying cheating husband for years without cheating on him. Every single time I asked her why, she told me the exact same answer "because I love him."

I always believe there are no bad people for you to date, only the wrong ones. so who knows, maybe to some women, you are just perfect. Don't get discouraged. Good luck!
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:02 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,894 posts, read 12,696,454 times
Reputation: 31047
If you can't afford a few hundreds bucks per month on rent to live with non addicted roomies, then you really got the wrong job.
If you got the wrong job - get a better job.
If you can't get a better job - go to school. If you are really THAT poor, you get tuition assistance.
If you live in an expensive area, move to a cheaper area. My area isn't cheap, but for $400 you get a decent room with decent roommates.


Instead of sitting at home all the time and complain about noises, go outside and find a better job.

Really man, you take poor choices in job and home and then you complain about it but don't do anything to better the situation. No pity for you.

What brought you into that situation? Did a natural disaster destroy your life or an ex scammed you and left you bankrupt? Then you get some pity, otherwise, get your stuff together and stop complaining!!
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:52 PM
 
1,098 posts, read 1,577,939 times
Reputation: 1365
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdaptAndOvercome View Post
Self pity is a big time repellant, and that is especially true of dating. There are folks in prison with multiple girlfriends, so you can find someone. Be confident, and be positive about your situation. I know I am not in your shoes, but people like to be around people who have a positive outlook. That's just true of all people in general. Good luck!
Chances are they ain't too bright either if they're madly inlove with someone who's a danger to society (unless it was a false arrest gone wrong). Then again, I don't know too many women with that kind of loyalty.
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Old 11-01-2013, 01:18 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,502 posts, read 28,391,956 times
Reputation: 43328
Quote:
Originally Posted by shortnblack View Post
This forum give me the impression that people have issues, their issues have issues and everyone here offerring advice has issues to go with it, so nobody gets the help they truly need.
It's free advice. Often in life, you get what you pay for.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:23 PM
 
16,775 posts, read 14,426,665 times
Reputation: 37798
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
If you can't afford a few hundreds bucks per month on rent to live with non addicted roomies, then you really got the wrong job.
If you got the wrong job - get a better job.
If you can't get a better job - go to school. If you are really THAT poor, you get tuition assistance.
If you live in an expensive area, move to a cheaper area. My area isn't cheap, but for $400 you get a decent room with decent roommates.


Instead of sitting at home all the time and complain about noises, go outside and find a better job.

Really man, you take poor choices in job and home and then you complain about it but don't do anything to better the situation. No pity for you.

What brought you into that situation? Did a natural disaster destroy your life or an ex scammed you and left you bankrupt? Then you get some pity, otherwise, get your stuff together and stop complaining!!
YES! I don't quite understand how the OP can have a full time job and still be so poor he has to live in a hovel with drug addicts and criminals. Even minimum wage brings over $1100 a month. It seems reasonable to pay half your income for accommodation, I always have. Where do you live that you can't share a decent apartment for $550 a month or less?
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:28 PM
 
3,967 posts, read 4,587,614 times
Reputation: 3656
Many of these high horse imbeciles aren't qualified to date but I won't name names.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:31 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
17,611 posts, read 18,973,461 times
Reputation: 18918
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
Does this mean I don't deserve to date until I get more money and a normal living situation?
Yes.
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